atlous Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 [color=darkblue][/color] I have been in the dumps for a week and a half. My story is this, I had been dating my BF for 2and a half years we went to Mexico last year and had the ultimate romantic holiday. He told me things that I have never heard before. I think this is the first time I have ever been in love at the rightful age of 26 he is 23. We met in the College of Nursing and we both have the same dreams. Sexually speaking not to be corny but honestly the best connection I have ever had with any man. He dropped out of Nursing last year finding it really difficult. He hit the ultimate low and I was so busy that I felt that I could not be there for him. He was so angry with me and broke up and started to screw someone else at the same time. A month after he met this new girl he realized that she was not for him and that he missed me very much. He came back into my life swearing that I was the one he thought about for two years and that I was to forgive him because I thought everbody makes mistakes and we may even begin to forgive each other. I seriously though that we were soul mates. Well this is bad on my part I could forgive him but I could not forget. I found my trust in him to be completely shaken desperate to restore the trust but we only fought all the time. He went away to camp to become a counselloe and works very close with many women. One of them has the hots for him. He came into town and said that he was going to go out with all these girls. I gave him an ultimatum that if he goes out with them without me that he would be single in the morning. He stayed home and refused to talk to me. The next night he refused to talk with me and took only one of the girls out you can only guess which one and spent the night at her house. It was like he poured vinegar on old wounds that were not quite healed. why would he tell me that nothing happened and that I am the girl he should marry but he needs time? What in gods name did I do to deserve this. He is so angry with me he wont let me touch him and he has not called me in 10 days. He still tells everyone that nothing happened and that he loves me he just needs time. Will he come back do they really need time or is he a chicken ****? I talked to his friends and they say that this gril who likes him is a very big girl and not very attractive only that she likes him and she is a very nice person. He is back in town and has not contacted me. I wrote him a letter that I bared my soul in. It was not a desperate letter but rather an apology and I took responsibility for my contributions to the break up. He has not responded to the letter or nothing. I feel that this can't be the end or is it. I have not called him in 10 either( well he has been at camp so I could not have even if I wanted to . I don't want this to be the end I am head over heels for him what do I do? DO I call him. I am not interested in games but if he is not ready to talk I don't want to be the first to call. If he thinks that this is easy street that I am not phoning than I want to. How do I know if he isn't playing games? How can you tell if he is missing me? Please someone HELP ME I am going insave I hate the waiting game. I try not to wait but it is always in the back of my mind
bambi_4 Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 He needs to make contact first. He needs to know that you are not so weak that you have to contact him. I dont think that you were right to give him an ultimatum and not let him go out. You can't control him and you have to trust him despite the past. If you feel he is not trust worthy, than leave him go and you'll meet someone who you will love and trust. Don't be a victim. To truly love someone you have to except all of them, good and bad. If you don't or can't they are not for you. Thats not to say you shouldn't work hard for what you want. Decide whats best for you first!!!
Author atlous Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 Jees I feel like I am in highschool or something I have anxiety for no reason and I feel that I have lost him. When Is a good time to realize that he is not going to call?
bambi_4 Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Thats a hard one to answer, guys can be stubborn. He could take a while before he realizes:- a) This is a mistake, I want to work things out, b) she has suffered enough c) I miss her so much or d) I am lonely. Thing is be strong, if you can't, just say you are ringing to see how he is and don't discuss yourselfs unless he brings it up. Keep conversation general. Try to (and this sounds bad) keep the power and call the shots. But don't control him, just the situation.
Author atlous Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 Sorry I am venting. I acknowledged that Ultimatumm in the letter and I apologized and told him that we need to forgive each other and move on in a healthy relationship. Don't you think if he gave a **** that he would have called and thanked me for the letter? He just read my feelings and threw them away. I was pissed that he still has not replied or said thank you for the letter. I want to know how he is feeling he just can' t throw 21/2 years away like that we were best friends. Or am not getting the hint that by him not phoning he is stating the obvious and my words especially in the letter do not mean a thing any more? I just wish he wouldn't be so chicken **** and give me the closure I need to move on. I never did anything that bad to deserve this mental torture. My mind races is he with this new girl? HELP he is just not phoning.
Author atlous Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 Thanks Bambi I am going to do what I have never done before. NOT CALL HIM! I am always an in your face kind a girl and I think that I believe that If it is out of sight out of mind and I freak so I hang on and call make sure that he is never away that long. Here it goes i am attempting the right thing to do . It has never got me anywhere before I will try this.
bambi_4 Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Guys, if hurt can take a while to come back to you. Don't think that you have not been on his mind over the last few days, of course you have. I doubt his with the new girl but if he is let him off. You deserve better anyway. Easier said then done but keep busy, go out with friends, let yourself get over this but don't let anyone get you down.
bambi_4 Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Read "No contact rule does work - Ex has called " it s in "breakups" under "second chances" made me feel good about my situation
UCFKevin Posted August 11, 2004 Posted August 11, 2004 Call him. Screw it. Not calling him isn't making you feel ANY better, is it?
UCFKevin Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 One wouldn't expect it to, but hopefully she has some closure now.
bambi_4 Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 To me it sounded like closure but I hope it did to atlous too.
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