natwilliams Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I met a girl at a coffee shop a month ago. It went like this... I sat down. We started talking because she was playing classical music from her laptop and we connected on that because I am also a musician. I gave her my card but she never emailed me her Soundcloud page as promised. Anyway, today I came in the same cafe and she was there again. I played it really cool and friendly and she actually asked for my facebook. even to type my name in her laptop. As soon as I got home I messaged her back on FB and invited her out for sushi the next day. I never heard back. Now, I know I rushed it a bit, but I just felt good and went for it. I've tried every combination of timing now. Every combination of push pull. I've tried waiting a day. waiting two days, waiting a week, waiting two weeks, waiting a month, waiting two months. Slow burn, fast burn, strike while the iron is hot, stay cool and be the friend at first, pretend you're gay, pretend you're taken, pretend you're too busy, be an jerk, be a nice guy. It seems like nothing works. I'm so tired of learning what does not work. When am I actually going to get a very simple date? I mean this is literally starting to become ridiculous. totally freakin ridiculous. It's as if I live in some sort of surreal world. Some kind of Truman Show existence where as it turns out the entire world is set against me. I have been trying for the last year and a half tirelessly to get a girlfriend, and never ever have I expected that this would be so extremely so inconceivable difficult, so absolutely insanely impossible. I feel and I am not exaggerating at all here as if there is a ranking of every man's luck. and I am literally, literally at the absolute bottom. Meaning that no matter what I do, no matter how I do it, some divine force comes down and ensures that the date does not happen, or she just doesn't get back to me, or flakes, or turns me down after a date or two. This is how I feel. and it is the most horrible thing in the world. The most unbelievable part is that I was considered one of cutest guys in high school and college even though I never had a girlfriend in either because I was still depressed from getting rejected by the girl I loved in 12th grade. I am not kidding.. How is this possible? How? Someone please tell me because I do not understand. how. this. is. possible. That it could be so difficult. That a person can actually be cursed to the degree that I am cursed, and I am not exaggerating, this is how I feel. Wow, finally got that off my chest. Sorry.
Imajerk17 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 (edited) I'm wondering if you're trying too hard to be too clever. In this case, you would have been MUCH better off asking for her number and calling her instead of *her asking you* for FB, or instead you merely offering her your card and expecting her to call, as you did the first time. See? Simple. Direct. Probably the BEST thing you could have done though, was suggest you and she go see a band or something together. Meanwhile, I'm also wondering if you picked up a lot of bad information about dating in the past few years, and that is what is hurting you. I mean, who taught you to give a woman your card (she won't call) or to ask a woman out via FB? Edited December 5, 2012 by Imajerk17
Ami1uwant Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 You may have went too fast in asking her about sushi. What you did in giving her your phone number was the right thing to do...the ball is then in her court to give you her number. What I have found is when you ask for her number without giving yours can come off poorly. The last thing you want to do is friend her on facebook...absolutely the last thing. What do you do in your courting of dates? maybe there is something subconsciously you are doing.
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