ginastar Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Do you believe that if a man doesn't propose within a few years that he doesn't want to marry the girlfriend? Or do you believe that some men need to "become ready" and then will marry you?
aussietigerwolf Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Some guys need to become ready, Hell it took misha Collins 10 years to propose.
Treasa Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I spent six years waiting for a guy to "be ready." Screw that. If a guy doesn't know he's crazy about me after a couple of years, tops, I'm moving on. I don't even want to be married that badly. But I don't want to be with a guy who is lukewarm about me. 1
Balzac Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I believe that age, education path and career entry are often determining factors on timing. I think a guy can know she's "The One" and waiting to make his proposal.
Balzac Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I believe that age, education path and career entry are often determining factors on timing. I think a guy can know she's "The One" and waiting to make his proposal. Not lukewarm by any manner of expressing his love.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Do you believe that if a man doesn't propose within a few years that he doesn't want to marry the girlfriend? Or do you believe that some men need to "become ready" and then will marry you? People mature at different times. But stereotypically, if you are dating someone a few years and you are over the age of 30 or there-a-bouts, a few years should be enough time to deteremine if you want to marry them or not. I can understand being 20 and being unsure but most people come into themselves the older they get and know what they really want or don't want.
Author ginastar Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 What if he's 30, has his career, has plenty of money and a house, and dated a girl 2.5 years. Since he hasn't proposed to her does that mean he doesn't want to marry that girl or can he become ready and propose eventually?
jcrew11 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 What if he's 30, has his career, has plenty of money and a house, and dated a girl 2.5 years. Since he hasn't proposed to her does that mean he doesn't want to marry that girl or can he become ready and propose eventually? Do you know if he wants children? Guys are logical and rigid; and will only get married if they want children. He could also be paranoid about sharing finances and losing money, especially if the woman makes a lot less than him, and is giving off a "gold digger/need money and security" vibe. He might also like attention from other women, and sees himself as a lifelong bachelor who can chat up the 21 year old hotties. What is your age (the age of the woman)? Men want to marry women who are mature enough to become a mother/housewife, which is usually a girl over 27 years old. Some men are willing to wait until 35 or 40 to get married.
Kristine Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I have a rule simply because I've been on the not wanting to marry someone bandwagon. You either want to or you don't. So if there is no proposal in 2 years tops move on, alter that depending on your age. I'm 38 now so I say if I don't feel it's heading in that direction in 6 months to a year I'm wasting precious time.
Ami1uwant Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Do you believe that if a man doesn't propose within a few years that he doesn't want to marry the girlfriend? Or do you believe that some men need to "become ready" and then will marry you? If you are in your early/mid 20s...proposal/,arriage will likely not happn for a while. If you are late 20s-early 30s...i think a good measure would be a about a yr-18 months depending on how much you see each other during the week or if you two are living together. Can finances play a part in it --absolutely. If there is a very different salary difference (with the exception of a few careers that are lower paid) this will be an issue. Once you get into the mid 30s-early 40s then other past history plays a role such as past marriages/divorces, wanting kids or already having kids. Another factor also in play is what career goals they have. If he is in a career where he knows he needs to move to advance in his career while she plans on staying in the area because of family/friends/job then it s likely not going to go anywhere.
rocketman122 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 What if he's 30, has his career, has plenty of money and a house, and dated a girl 2.5 years. Since he hasn't proposed to her does that mean he doesn't want to marry that girl or can he become ready and propose eventually? I see you didnt mention anything about the person himself. "he's a great guy and I want to spend my life with him" "we get along so well and I cant image being without him" "I would kill for him and I love him dearly" seems materialistic is more important than saying something good about the person himself. I would not marry you. when a woman talks about money with me, she's out! no im not cheap. besides 2 dinners my GF has never payed for anything weve done together in the 1+year. trips/dinners movies, nothing. so dont go there. 3
Author ginastar Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 rocketman, its bc i am not referring to my own boyfriend. no one asked you to read into the post. just answer the damn question as stated. I see you didnt mention anything about the person himself. "he's a great guy and I want to spend my life with him" "we get along so well and I cant image being without him" "I would kill for him and I love him dearly" seems materialistic is more important than saying something good about the person himself. I would not marry you. when a woman talks about money with me, she's out! no im not cheap. besides 2 dinners my GF has never payed for anything weve done together in the 1+year. trips/dinners movies, nothing. so dont go there.
rocketman122 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 rocketman, its bc i am not referring to my own boyfriend. no one asked you to read into the post. just answer the damn question as stated. no. .
carhill Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Men are all different. This is a case where relationship/marital history and family history can provide clues, markedly in the realm of matching up the man's words with his actions. IMO, if you ask him how he feels about marriage in general, and accept his answers, you'll have good insight into his truth, especially with known history and FOO dynamics available. Most men are goal-oriented and problem solvers. If his goal is to be married, you won't find much ambiguity about his path to get there. It may take time, but his eye is on the goal. If other, other. Good luck.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Do you believe that if a man doesn't propose within a few years that he doesn't want to marry the girlfriend? Or do you believe that some men need to "become ready" and then will marry you? Agree with the other posters' comments. Will just add that the bolded part above is an exercise in futility and disappointment. When I went from dating for fun to dating with an eye to marriage, what I looked for morphed. One can be great to date for fun, but chances are he'll be looking for something else...different qualities...when he's "ready" to marry. It's better to find someone who is in your life stage, rather than waiting and hoping for someone who isn't, to grow into it. 1
Estate Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 I wouldn't propose in "a couple of years". I wouldn't be pressured into it either. Sorry. I really don't go for people who follow a timeline for a relationship. I've had plenty girlfriends and one in particular I feel I would have married but guess what? It didn't work out. Had I rushed into marrying her, look where I'd be! A disappointing breakup or a messy divorce? You take your pick. (And before someone chimes in, no we didn't breakup because I didn't propose). I really can't understand people who go head first into something like that and also who marry ridiculously young. I won't marry until it is absolutly right and I am confident I will spend the rest of my life with this person, no questions, there will be no "surprises" later in the relationship. I also do not understand people spending massive money on rings and weddings and houses which they are not financially mature enough to afford. It's disgusting to be honest... love concurs all? They really need to get their head straight. When I am in a relationship where it is the right next move and we are both mature and financially responsible enough to move to that stage, it will happen. Thats my take, I know most disagree. 1
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