Hevenzangel16xx Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 [font=courier new][/font][font=century gothic][/font][font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color] I am 16 years old, and my best friends brother wants to "talk". He is 21, i found out he liked me about a month ago, ive always had a crush on him, but I never knew how to tell him, untill he told me. then the last few weeks we have been talking and hanging out. My best friend(his sister) just moved away, so now im not to sure what to do. also he has 2 kids. He is a sweetheart, but he really doesnt talk much, i can tell that he cares about me, but yet he only calls me when he wants to hang out. we cant just sit on the phone and talk, and when we do hang out we are always drinking. I like him alot, he is really a nice guy,but Im not sure what i have gotten myself into, but i would like it if you guys could help me out, and tell me what you think.
aboehme Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 one question first are you to sleeping together? and then ill be able to tell you his intents of this potential relationship
Author Hevenzangel16xx Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 yes we are sleeping together
Taken_Angel Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Oh my Gawd! You're drinking every time you "hook up" ???? That's sad you're only 16!!! Also you should have started "getting to know him emotionally" before sleeping with him. But since you didn't.....who knows....is he involved w/ the Mother of his kids? Does your best friend know what you're doing w/ her bro? What does she say about it?
Author Hevenzangel16xx Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 I did know him before we started sleeping together, not very good, but it changed everything after, now it is like we are dating but we arent, i really dont know how to explain it, he calls me everyday....and we dont have sex everytime. weve slept together twice. He is still talking to his babys momma, but just because she has his kids. im not sure what to do...yes my friend knows, she told me i should leave him alone, because of his kids mom. but i dont know there is something about him im not sure
She's Come Undone Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Uh, he already has two kids??? You tryin' to make it a third?? He sounds very one- agenda-minded, and is apparently very successful. Do yourself a favor, RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE!!!!
aboehme Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 sweetheart I'm sorry to say which i can be wrong but when i was 14 i was in a similar situation and ended up that i was more or less a prize that i was so young and i hadn't gone through all the bull that other females will bring in ... your an easy target and so was i for men to get the best of us. Sure it may seem great that this hot older guy is showing you attention but its not the attention your going to want and need in the long run. look at it this way is he going to bring you around the family as his girl or his sisters bf. I don't think your bf will be mad but at the same time that is her brother and its territory. tell him that you want to go out somewhere (in public, where people will recognize the both of you) if he makes poor excuses... then you know that no relationship is going to come of this and to be blunt its only to get a peace of ass and he's probably proud of himself that he was able to get a younger girl... does this kind of help you?
Taken_Angel Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 You SHOULD LISTEN to your Best friend! She knows her brother better than you do by far!! If he is still "talking" to his baby's mama who's to say that he isn't still "hooking up" with her?? I hope you're at least having protected sex with him, 16 is way toooo young to have a baby or contract something that you can't get rid of! I won't judge nor am I trying to be harsh but honestly you should think about this situation very carefully, 1) he's already got 2 kids by a woman he's not married or in a long term relationship with (what's that say? NOT RESPONSIBLE) 2) he's sleeping with someone under age (what's that say...doesn't make good choices) 3) You're best friend warned you not to get involved and she knows him well. (what's that say? Listen to her she doesn't want you to get hurt) All in all sounds to me like you should distance yourself from him and find someone who doesn't hook up w/ underage girls, who doesn't make babies with whom ever, and who doesn't give alcohol to underage girls! He isn't a responsible person therefor I doubt he has much to offer you!
Author Hevenzangel16xx Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 well he brings me around his friends, and his family loves me, since i was so close to his sister, and he told his mom that he liked me, she just told him not to hurt me, and that he needs to tell his kids mom to get out of the picture. so his parents know, and his sister has no problem with it, only that she is trying to look out for me, and she doesnt want me to have the responsibility of his 2 kids. oh also....he has another one on the way. i know im only 16, and that the person i am, i give to much to people, which is going to really hurt me in the long run. I trust people to much, and i see the good in everyone, instead of the bad. thats why i have gotten hurt in other relationships. I am gullible, and people take advantage of me.....but i dont think he is that type of guy, yet thats what i said about my ex.
Author Hevenzangel16xx Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 also i am not attracted to nice guys....i dont know what it is, i like the bad boy type. which isnt going to get me anywhere. so far my boyfriends have been kicked out of school, in jail, and verydissrespectful. maybe im immature im not sure what it is, but a guy last year was paying me some attention, but he got a's and b's and was on the football team. I was attracted to him at all. and also i know casey is over age, but i can not date anyone who is my age, they have to be older, or else when i am around them, i feel like we are just friends rather then together. i would really like to get over this, but im not sure how
aboehme Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 sweety..... almost three kid... well no matter what if hes going to be in these childrens lives his will always have something to do with there mother or mothers... you dont need this not now or with him. if he has another on the way than that means he was with another girl not even 9 mmonths ago and if hes not still with her than that should answer all your questions right now.
aboehme Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 i am the exact way I've always dated older guys like the guy I've been with for the last 5 years is 31 and I'm only 20 but i don't even want to be with him anymore because he is way to controlling an few years is fine date a senior someone whose already gone through school even if there classified as a bad boy hell will at least shown you he's taken some responsibility in life and finish school or is about to.. get away from this guy and just stick to being his sisters best friend
Author Hevenzangel16xx Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 well....he lives with his babys mom, but thats only because of his kids, they are not together...well at least that is what he told me. and since his sister moved we arent going to really be talking. and casey treats me good, and he is a little controlling, but i like that, when a guy tells me what to do. im not sure if that is okay, but thats how i feel. ive been told that i fall in love fast, that any guy that gives me attention i fall for. but casey is different, at least i think so, also he just got out of jail...it is a really long story, but now im not sure how i tell him that i dont want to talk anymore. i am a pretty girl, and i guess i am just very confused
aboehme Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 you are and thats okay... i guarantee even if there not together there still sleeping together. just tell him that you'd like to find a boyfriend not someone to just **** when its covenant for him
aboehme Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 do you want to end up pregnant as well... do youreally think he can support 4 children and maintain a relationship
Author Hevenzangel16xx Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 your right! but im scared because i did fall for him, and i want to be with him, i am also on birth control. but i guess i need to relize that he is still with her, and i dont need all this. But i wish i could be with him, hes such a nice guy....but he does call me when it is convenent for him, im not sure what he is thinking, but nobody really knows what other people are thinking, its just that if he isnt with her then i would want to try and work on it, but im not sure that that would ever work, so i might as well end this now, before i end up getting hurt.
aboehme Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 its wonderful that you know what's right for you but you now need to follow through with you good decision and everything will work out for you in the long run... just have faith in yourself and think things through even if you feel your falling for him do what's best for you...not for him finish school... oh yeah birth control is not 100% i got pregnant when i was 17 while i had been on the pill for 3 years so continue using the pill along with a condom even if the pill stops you from getting pregnant it does not stop diseases
Taken_Angel Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 I agree that you should follow through with the choice you just said. You should end it before you fall even harder, plus you don't want to start being the "other woman" at such a young age, you deserve someone who is just with YOU. Please know that if they are living together they are sleeping together unless of course he has you come over and stay w/ him there then I would believe maybe he's not w/ her. Getting into the habbit of dating guys who aren't single will lead you into a life of heartache and lack of self respect!
Author Hevenzangel16xx Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 well yeah, i think he is with her too....but he swears he isnt....but when i see her, he acts like he doesnt know me.....another thing, he is only really affectionate when he has been drinking. other then that he doesnt really put his arms around me or anything, well he still does i guess, but not as much, i feel like for us to be comfortable around each other, somebody has to be drinking.
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