Ex-Hub taking off, leaving resposibilities (Serious replies/advice only)

[SweetBee82]

Just when I got over this anxiety over an ex-fling, this has to happen. Here's the whole story.

 

I broke up with my husband late last year after over 2 years of marriage. I just turned 19 when we married so I was really naive. Anyway, several months before I gave him the heave-ho, during happier times, we decided to put some money on the side. So he opened a CD at a bank and we put some of our money in there. I didn't put my name as a co-signer because I was afraid that some collection agency would take my money on the sly (it's a long story but it since been settled). Anyway, after we seperated, we decided to remain friends. Even after I started being friendly with my current BF (don't get the wrong idea, it took me months to really be with him because of my husband), we remained close friends. Then he began dating his girlfriend and suddenly the friendly buddy-buddy chats became cold and brief hellos. Yes, I do want him to be happy with his girlfriend and give him his space, but he needed to take care of his responsiblity. He then said he filed already for divorce and yet I still haven't received the papers yet. But what worries me the most is the money I put on the CD.

 

For the past few weeks, I kept on reminding him about releasing the money so he can give that to me. I don't nag about it, just a quick mention. But it's now been a week and a half since I heard from him and now I'm really getting upset and worried. The last time I talked to him, I said hello and all he said "I'll call you right later, she (his girlfriend) is on the other line." With that, he never called back. I mean, that's just rude. When I have him on one line and my BF on another, I usually tell my BF that I'll call back later because I know I don't speak to my ex as often. Now his family just moved away the other day and he moved somewhere in Suffolk County (probably now with his girlfriend). I don't even know my former in-laws' new number (I was very close with them, even after we broke up) He couldn't give me his cell phone because that's really his GF's and is under her name. I told him that it's not like I want him back, but just so I can reach you about the money situation. He knew what that money was for. It was to pay for most of my college tutition (since we seperated, I went back to college to finish my degree).

 

Yes, I was stupid to sharing an account with him. Yes, I was dumb for not being a co-signer. But this is now killing me inside. It slowly taking a toll on my health (I've been having anxiety attacks), my state of mind (can't focus at work or school), and worse... it's effecting my current relationship. He said he's free but I haven't signed or receieved the divorce papers yet, so technically we're not. When we broke up, we made a promise that he'll give me my money back (btw, the amount is a lot, not just chump change) and I'll keep in contact with him and his family. I kept my end by still being there for his parents and his niece and nephew. He, on the other hand, isn't. Funny about this is that he told me on a phone conversation 2 weeks ago that he "still loves me and was thinking of wanting me back because it's not the same comparing to his current girlfriend." I do care for him but not in that intimate, romantic way anymore. I'm very happily in love with my BF and there is no way I would turn my back away for someone who decieved me.

 

I really don't know what to do now. I called that bank's number but of course, I don't know the account. Remember that it was on his name. I tried to contact him on his other cell/pager but all I get is an answering machine (been like that since Saturday). I can't find him and just don't know what to do. I just want my money back and sign those divorce papers so he and I could just move on with our lives. I loved him enough to let him go but he's being very selfish of letting me go. It's like he's purposely trying to hurt me in the worst possible way. Help, please!

[SweetBee82]

bump

[HokeyReligions]

Get your own attorney. Even if you receive the divorce papers today - you don't want to sign them without reading and fully understanding them. When there is money involved especially -- you need your own lawyer.

[SoleMate]

If I were you, I would talk to a lawyer about what you have to do establish your interest in this money. Just asking your (soon to be?) ex to give it back obviously isn't working. But a good lawyer will be able to help you bring out evidence of where the money for the CD came from, and initiate proceedings to have the money returned to you. The best lawyer would be one that specializes in family law (i.e. divorce). You can get the money back, almost certainly - good luck!

[SweetBee82]

I was already thinking of suing him for what's doing. The last thing I wanna do is bring other parties (my mother, current bf, his girlfriend, etc.) in. His family knew about this too and kept reminding him about this. I talked to his mother before she moved last weekend and she told me she kept reminding him and he just nodded.

 

What nags me the most is that he tells me he loves me and whats me back. But then he goes ahead and do this when he knows it's very important. I actually feel bad for his girlfriend because I have a feeling that he'll pull the same stunt to her.

[SweetBee82]

Also I told him about suing him if he doesn't coroporate with me. I personally don't want to sue because it'll make this go from bad to worse. But right now, he's leaving me with no choice.

[overseas2004]

Besides getting a lawyer it is my opinion that as his wife you have the legal right to go and withdraw money from this account.... as long as you can prove you are his wife.

 

Be prepared for the worst though. He may be jerking you around because he spent the money.

 

 

Regards,

 

Overseas2004

[SweetBee82]

There is a problem... my ID has my maiden name. On top of that, he got possession of the original marriage certificate. I'm planning to go to the clerk's office in Long Island (where got it from) to get a copy for it. I'm glad that I have a job though but this is important to have my money back (as you already read).

 

My real main problem is now is locating him. He already moved to his name place but never gave the address or phone number to it (ooh and this is from the same man who wants me back.... whippy dee doo *being sarcastic*) He's like a freakin dead-beat husband! It's like he purposely trying to hurt me for leaving him to make myself better and for subsucently falling in love with someone else.

 

I'm already preparing for the worst and damn it, he'll pay for everything he's done to me during the marriage and now!