Ok maybe I just need to vent, let me know if you think I should "break-up" with my fr

[batitm]

My friend, we'll call her clueless, is really beginning to get on my nerves. She insists that she is better than me at about everything, she works harder, her relationship with her bf is better than my relationship, she's better with kids, she's kinder, blah blah blah. . .

I've always just shrugged it off because my other friends and I know that is not the case. The point is she is always bringing me down. She'll break our plans to do something with her bf in an instant but if I ever did the same (which I never would) she would be furious with me. She is always bad mouthing my man and our relationship while I have to listen to her brag about how great hers is (he's a lying dog and they fight all the time). It is really bringing me down because I plan on marrying this guy and she is always telling me how it will never work out.

If it sounds like this focuses all on our bf's that's because it does. Her life revolves around having a bf. She cannot go out and have a good time without him tagging along or at least talking about him all the time.

I'm ready to just call it quits with this friendship altogether. Shouldn't she be over this my bf is cuter than yours phase? We're 23!!!

[aboehme]

you don't need to surround yourself that only use you to feel better about themselves. find people that want to be around you and will support you rater than bring you down

[Pocky]

Are there any positive reasons to stay friends?

[Barby]

As they always say....misery loves company she isn't deep down happy in her relationship who could be w/ a partner who lies and cheats and so by her "building" herself and her relationship up it appears she is putting you down. It

is rude of her and will only bring her a bit of self gratification for a split second but when she really looks at her life she'll realize how miserable she really is.

 

No one needs friends like this in their life, I've had 2 (who I considered best friends at one point) in my life like that. In a heart beat they would ditch any plans to run off and chase a man but if I made plans w/ my BF and couldn't do something w/ them I was a "selfish" "horrible" person who put her man over her friends! Ha! People like these are not true friends...not because they are bad people but just because they don't realize how wrong and self absorbed they really are, they think the world revolves around them and 9 times outta 10 will claim they are the "nicest people in the world" they fail to see their actions but complain when someone does the exact same things they do.

 

Basically she is making you miserable so why hang around with her?

[batitm]

I have known for years that she only brings me down, but it is so hard to stop being friends with someone.(We've been "best friends" all through high school and stayed friends even though we went to different colleges) Now we live in the same town and it would just be weird to see her around if we were no longer friends. I know something has to change because I'm afraid her negativity rubs off on me. I believe she is putting stress on my relationship with my bf because:

1. They don't get along

2. Being around her and her bf is a bad example of a relationship

3. She always points out things that he does (ie hanging out w/ his friends on a Friday, not every Friday, ONE Friday) that she thinks means he doesn't truly care about me.

She has also threatened to tell him I was cheating on him. I did kiss another man, but it was at the very beginning of our relationship when he knew I was still seeing other people. It's not cheating if we were not an item yet!

Does anyone else have "friends" like this?????????

[sarah12]

I know EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!

 

I came on here looking for someone who also has a friend like this! And I am also just about to give up on her!!!

 

I am so frustrated and done with her putting me down day in and out. I live with her too so it's even worse..but moving out in a few days (b/c our lease is up). She is the most self-centred, conniving, manipulative bitch ever! She loves putting me down and embarassing me in front of friends that *i* introduced her to, to make herself feel better about herself. All her friends in her past have left her, and so I am all that she has left. However, she has a constant need for competition with me...the friends I have introduced her to have told her that I am so nice, and so kind and so she feels like she needs to one up me on that and be the nice and sweet girl that everyone likes. She'll be really nice and sweet to the people (esp GUYS) that she likes, but if she thinks she's better than you, she will be the biggest bitch ever. People are always telling me that they think she's a bitch and I have to defend her because I feel sorry for her. But I've had just about enough of it, I see more cons than pros, so what is the point? She is ruining potential friendships for me b/c she's turning people against me...hopefully those people will one day realize what type of person she really is.

 

jfkdsjfksjfksdla..i am so mad just thinking about how much crap I've taken from her in the past. I only did it because I know she's got a lot of growing up to do, and I figured she'd realize this by now. We are 22, but I feel like I have an elementary school friendship with her. You'd think that by this age, friendships like this don't exist anymore..

 

I've been told that you need to abandon the person for them to realize what they are doing..so here goes..

 

good luck with your situation..and update me as to how things are going..

[batitm]

Originally posted by sarah12

We are 22, but I feel like I have an elementary school friendship with her. You'd think that by this age, friendships like this don't exist anymore..

 

I've been told that you need to abandon the person for them to realize what they are doing..so here goes..

 

 

Sounds like we are pretty much in the same situation. So sorry to hear that you have to live with yours. I think a lot of people have had friends like this!

Well she's mad at me for choosing to stay home with my boyfriend last weekend (I worked all day and it was after 11:00pm).

I haven't talked to her in a few days and I think its doing me a lot of good. Our convos are mainly b**** sessions anyway. I say we stay away from these foul friends. Are you in?

Extra detail about my "friend". She thinks that people like her that i know Do Not. I would never tell her this, that's just plain mean, but I get soooo tired of listening to her talk about how a certain guy, we'll call him Joe, likes her.

Shes like "Joe is always flirting with me. Joe wants to go out with me. If I was dating Joe he'd do this, this and that just to make me happy because I'm such a prize!" I know Joe, better than she, and Joe may flirt with her but Joe is not interested. In fact he has told me if he was her bf and she was "clingy" like she is with her current bf he'd tell her to "hit the pavement" (jokingly of course, Joe is not that mean).

[batitm]

I have gone an entire week without talking to this "friend". I'm feeling better about my relationship w/my bf (we've spent a lot of time together this week) but its not the same as having a girlfriend to talk to. . .any suggestions on how I can get my attitude on the up and up so I don't give in and call her?

[sarah12]

My friend also does not know that a lot of people tell me she is a b****!! Especially guys..they can't understand how the two of us are friends because we are so different from each other...

 

I've also gone a few days without talking to her, and I've been so much happier!! I had exams so it was easy to stay away..I finally have a smile on my face again..what a relief...she'll be moving to another city temporarily so that will be a nice break for the both of us I think. And when she comes back, I don't plan on resuming the friendship like we had before..I'm also going to keep my friends apart from her as much as possible..but I do know what you mean about having girlfriends. Most of my close girlfriends have moved out of the city (we all went to college here) and she's one of the few who are coming back. I'm afraid I'm going to cave in too because I know she can be really nice when she needs your friendship and I'm the type to be way too caring..

 

Perhaps you should spend some more time with other girlfriends? Even if you're not as close to some others, it'll be more worthwhile ot spend time getting to know them better than to go back to this friend...friends like these won't learn until they figure out why people keep abandoning them...as much as I am a caring person, there is a limit...

[batitm]

Your posts have definitely helped me out. It sounds like our situations are very similar. After college, I moved away from all of my close college friends and so she is the only super close friend I have around here. I try to keep in touch with the others but it is so hard as our lives are headed in different directions (that sounds so melodramatic but you get the picture).

I am happier see the smiles on our faces because we are not being drug down by grumpy friends

I received an email today. It was George Carlins words of wisdom or something and one was to keep only cheerful friends, grumpy people will drag you down. Isn't that the truth? It will be well worth it to stay busy and invest time in expanding other friendships.

Thanks for your post and keep me updated on your situation.

[ShopingBarbie1984]

I know you have been helped but I just wanted to say that, I am almost in the exact same situation as you. I have been friends with my friend and her sister for 3 years. I also have been friends with my other friend since junior high we stopped talking just recently because, I told them off well not really I just stood up for myself and then just said screw it after they called me names they are 22 and 24, I am 20... You sound exactly like my so-called friend Valerie but, I am not confirming you too her just saying you sound like her. Anyways my friend from junior high got married last semptember I think of 2003 she's 20 and, she kept rubbing it in my face how happy she is with her marriage and all this other boul crap. I just kept on saying I am never getting married which I probably won't be because, of how guy's are too me "long story" she was always saying yes you will and everyone get's married eventually well not everyone... The other problem was she would always tell me that, I had to put a guy before her. Meaning if I was dating a guy seriously I would have too make her my first priority if I spelled that word right. And her husband is away to Afganastan and so she really doesn't feel like she is married so she has too put me down for what she did too me. Just like my other so-called friends I have known for 3 years they just wanted to put me down too make them feel better about themselves. I am just letting them know that it didn't hurt me for what they did too me and that calling me names is immature of them. They just need to grow up calling me names just doing that doesn't show mature-ity... Especially with your friend right now she doesn't sound mature at all maybe if she has been put through what I have been put through my friends she will grow up. But I hope everything will work out with you don't let this friend of yours make her put you down because, she doesn't have a great life. Hope I didn't confuse anyone : 0 )