T4toria Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I was in a relationship with my ex for two years. The first year we were mainly friends with benefits as he was apparently deciding whether he wanted a relationship as he had recently come out of a long term relationship as had I. We then began seeing each other properly for a year or so. In February my mother died suddenly, he was there for me and supported me. In may I found out he had cheated on me for the entire two years we had been involved. I was devastated as we had been close friends and I was still suffering after my recent bereavement. I made the decision to tell the other woman as she had children and I felt she had a right to know and would want to know if I were her. Despite all this I remained friends with my ex as he seemed truly contrite and sought counselling and seemed to be sorting himself out. A month ago he told me he was back with this other woman. I was shocked, he then said he felt he had made a mistake and wished things were different. We talked about this and I said he needed to make a decision as to what he wanted and be honest with everyone. I also got contacted by his gf who made it clear why she was with him and that it was for cynical reasons. He asked if we could meet to discuss this and his career as I was the only close friend he could talk to (this is true) I agreed, when we met he told me he felt he was living a lie and couldn't continue. We then ended up sleeping together. I felt so ashamed and to,d him he needed to tell her ASAP as he had made it pretty clear he was going to break things off. He then told me two days later he loved her and was staying with her and was sorry to give the impression he felt something for me. I went mad and told him that he had used me and that I was thinking of telling her the truth. I feel awful, I have been in a bad place all year and have made excuses for him from day one, he has manipulated me and taken advantage of me. I feel guilty, crap and used. I am going to cut all ties with him as he has proven that he is not a true friend to me and I need to move on properly. I now need to decide whether to tell this woman. She has been in touch with me previously to ask if anything has been going on, asking me to be honest as she has children. Part of me feels she deserves to know, I would want to know, another part of me says it's not my place to tell her. I would appreciate any advice, I feel awful about what happened but would never have done it if I didn't believe him when he said he was ending it. I should have known better and am an idiot.
flitzanu Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 his drama is not your drama. do you really want to be involved, and is it really going to matter?
Recommended Posts