frodo1234 Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Well i'm writing this as its good for me to talk/write about my experience but also noticed some people had the same experience as well. I just split up from my GF (well she split with me) about 2 and half weeks ago. There's been so much history (much of it messy) that its untrue. There had always been somthing between us for years,we were close and always talked about what was going on with each other in quite an intimate way. Now we got togethor about two and a half years ago, things only lasted 6 months, as she is one of those people who gets bored and then moves onto the next relationship - and seems able to completly cut herself of from the last one, which i find incredible but there you go. All the time i've known her she has always finished one realtionshp and then moved straight into the next one, she is extremly attractive (dont get me wrong here - she is - lots of people after her - i'm not whinging about not being with her - well not on this point anyway) - and last time we finished she moved straight into the next relationship and it was like there had never been anything between us - this completely twisted my head, i thought because of the friendship and the longtime we had known each other that it would be differant with me, but no. It took me a good 6 months to get over that and finally when i did i met someone else me and my ex became friends (not like before the relationship - but things were ok i was happy and so was she). So at this point i organise a big travelling mission with 6 mates - turns out she would like to come, fine i thought i've got no problem with that everythings cool between us now - what problems could arise from this? Whilst on the trip my girlfriend went home (She only came with us for a short while - that was how it was planned) - me and my ex got closer on that trip, and she then says to me the reason that she didn't want to get back togethor with me about two months before (when i had asked), when the trip was being planned was that she needed to know if she wanted to be with me and that going away as friends could be away to find that (at this point note: she was also seeing someone), things moved further - she told me she had changed, she didn't want to just flick between relationships - she wanted somthing more stable, and with me. So we got back togethor, we've been togethor for a year - everything was great, amazing in fact, panning for the future, years down the line, and then 2.5 weeks ago - it happened again, she met someone else and has gone of with him (whoever he is). I have to say that a couple of times in the last year i felt that i was waiting to be dumped, just because of her history, but again she had changed she said, and i do believe she meant it. But its happened - so be it. Feel like s*** at the moment, but its onyl been a short while and feeling better than i did two weeks ago. This time i've gone for the attitude of i dont want any contact, friends thing? well i'm not to fussed to be honest - all i'm concerned about is sorting myself out, i dont want to know what she's doing, i haven't seen her since we split, dropped her stuff round to her flatmate while she was out, the final thing i'm waiting for is for her to send me a text saying she's paid the money into my bank she owes me, and to be honest that cant come quick enough. its weird i dont know why, but all she is going to do is send me a text saying moneys in the bank and that will be it i know i wont hear from her again, and to be hnoest i need her to do that sooner rather than later as its twisting my head waiting - its the contact thing. People have asked are we friends, as far as i'm concerned there's an extremly long way to go for that, and to be honest, we dont have the same friends dont really hang arund the same areas, so that makes it easier - for those trying to do the friends thing - the first time we split up i tired it, i think u can do it, but it was 6 months of torture and watching her going of with other people - well thats like having your stomach ripped out. This time - nothing - and already i'm finding it easier - dont get me wrong i miss her like hell, and at the moment i would be dumb enough to take her back, thats why i dont want to see her - bottom line is 'I cant do this a 3rd time'. She has jumped into another relationship straight away, in the past i've tried to do this, to fill that void - but it doesn't work, i dont want another relationship for a long while - i need to sort myself out! Sorry if a rambled but its god to get it out! The only other issue is i'm nearly thirty, grey hair is taking over my head - and my self-esteem's taking a right good kicking!
Pocky Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 The only other issue is i'm nearly thirty, grey hair is taking over my head - and my self-esteem's taking a right good kicking! Grey hair is sexy on a man. It makes you look distinguished and wise. Thirty isn't old, don't write yourself off just yet! And please use separate paragraphs when writing long entries. Reading a mass of words in one continuous paragraph is hard on the eyes.
doubledown Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Thanks for sharing your story Frodo. I think that by giving us the facts about what happened to you, it should help many of us down the road if and when our EX's decide they want a 2nd chance. The important thing is that by reading your story, we should always keep in the back of our mind that many women, especially in their early to mid 20's, tend to say what we men want to hear at the moment, such as "I'm not like that now" or "i've changed since then" or "I don't go for guys like that anymore". Be wary, especially of young women. Men lie too, but women are much more convincing because they can make themselves believe that they've changed, which they may have, but it won't last more than a few months.
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