Eternal Sunshine Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Have you ever noticed how in most romantic comedies the girl who the guy has a huge crush on(and ends up getting with) all basically have the same personality type? Most of those movies are written by men, which basically seems like that's the "dream personality" guys go for. Yeah, this relates back to me since I feel like my personality is holding me back more than my looks. Those girls are: 1. Extremely outgoing and extroverted to the point of being manic 2. Leaders, female "alphas" 3. Wild and completely uninhibited 4. Impulsive with a touch of crazy 5. Emotionally detached, cold and aloof 6. Not "nice"or "sweet" by any means 7. Like to sleep around 8. Are into drugs and/or heavy drinking 9. Don't seem to give a f... about the male lead, till the very end I feel like I don't have a chance in hell to get a guy to be truly into me, past just wanting to have sex. I am somewhat shy, introverted, not that chatty, emotionally warm, sweet, sensitive, caring, somewhat passive and probably too intense. If I really like a guy, I am even more shy and nervous around him and he is typically really turned off by that and doesn't even give me a chance. My type of guy is pretty much the male version of myself. Those guys without fail ALL dream of girls with personalities like romantic female leads and often say stuff like "I only go for girls that are really bad for me"... I have had this happen so many times in my life that it's no coincidence. The problem is, I love my personality (well my core personality) - which guys just don't seem to value or appreciate. I don't want to change and become something I hate just to get a guy. Sorry for the rant....any thoughts?
aed Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I don't know, can it be that these liberated girls, figure as a rolemodel for the female population of the movies. Also you should recommend me some movies! ( no i'm serious)
CptSaveAho Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Those girls are: 1. Extremely outgoing and extroverted to the point of being manic 2. Leaders, female "alphas" 3. Wild and completely uninhibited 4. Impulsive with a touch of crazy 5. Emotionally detached, cold and aloof 6. Not "nice"or "sweet" by any means 7. Like to sleep around 8. Are into drugs and/or heavy drinking 9. Don't seem to give a f... about the male lead, till the very end No offense... when I read your posts and I have been for a long time... I agree with all these values being you ES... the only thing im not sure of is #8 1
Mint Sauce Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 (edited) oh ES, you are so wrong I wouldn't even want to sleep with a girl with that list of attributes. Give me shy, introverted and sweet every day, even in the sack, and I'm sure I'm not the only guy like that. Edith: ok, perhaps a touch of crazy in the bedroom is nice, but I'm sure you can do that :-) Edited December 4, 2012 by Mint Sauce 1
MrCastle Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Give me nice and sweet outside but a pornstar in the bedroom :bunny: 1
KungFuJoe Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about. Not only do I not see this in so called chick flicks, I don't think this even applies in real life. And there's a reason why romantic movies are the worst drivel in Hollywood next to rehashed horror flicks. They are mindless, stupid, fun. Not to be taken seriously at all. But again, besides the fact that these movies should not be taken seriously, I still don't see any of the leading women exhibiting these traits. Care to cite examples? In real life, #5 and on would be a major turn off to ANY guy. 2
Million.to.1 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Solution : become a lesbian and move to a small island in the south pacific with me!!! ......then we'd both have no trouble getting guys... Am i right?! 1
unladylike Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Forget about anybody else's type. You acknowledge that you like your personality and don't want to change. Confidence in your identity is one of the biggest things you can have going for yourself. My best fried is categorized as a "dream girl" like you described but her problem is that she molds her interests so constantly depending on the guy she is with that she always ends up heartbroken. They tend to get bored of her because she is so busy trying to be the girl they want that she doesn't have her own convictions. Your type will be the type of guy that finds you interesting.
Woggle Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 What men do you know that are into women like that? No niceness or sweetness, substance abuse, being cold and not giving an F about the man don't seem like the dream girl for any man I know. Life is way different than most romantic comedies.
USMCHokie Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 What men do you know that are into women like that? Me. Just to see what it's like...
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 Sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about. Not only do I not see this in so called chick flicks, I don't think this even applies in real life. And there's a reason why romantic movies are the worst drivel in Hollywood next to rehashed horror flicks. They are mindless, stupid, fun. Not to be taken seriously at all. But again, besides the fact that these movies should not be taken seriously, I still don't see any of the leading women exhibiting these traits. Care to cite examples? In real life, #5 and on would be a major turn off to ANY guy. Never heard of manic pixie dream girl? Manic Pixie Dream Girl - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 Me. Just to see what it's like... FYI this thread is not motivated by Hokie in any shape or form
crude Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 The best advice I can give is to be honest, and describe in detail your personality and how it appears to him. Some people have mean looking faces or they give off a vibe that seems cold and vicious. That person has to explain what they really are and how it plays to others, or else any date will understandably run away instantly after feeling the negative impression.
soccerrprp Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Yikes, the attributes you listed....eesh! If that's what hollywood believes guys want, I haven't met one nor am I searching for someone so "manic". I much prefer the characteristics you describe for yourself, but, of course, also hoping you're willing to open up once you get to know me.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 I appreciate guys that posted in this thread. I have some hope that maybe I just haven't met the right guy. I guess the problem is that I like guys that are bit on the introverted/shy/dark side. These guys seem to like manic girls in particular. They have actually told me that "opposites attract" - while that's not the case at all for me. Sadly, I seem to attract very extroverted/social types that I am not into. I find extroversion a big turn off. Even extroverted friends and co-workers annoy me.
USMCHokie Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 FYI this thread is not motivated by Hokie in any shape or form Ummmm...ok...I'm glad you took the time to clear that up...? 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 Ummmm...ok...I'm glad you took the time to clear that up...? Nothing personal, just didn't want people to jump to the wrong conclusion 2
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 I realize I may have been to extreme in my OP. To be more specific and accurate, here is a list of traits universal dream girl has: 1) Outgoing and bubbly 2) Diffuse, superficial enthusiasm or "passion" for everyone and everything. 3) A bit crazy/nutty in a precious way 4) Emotionally detached at core but with a facade of friendliness. The kind of person who makes whoever they are with feel special in the moment but doesn't get so attached to any one person. 5) Nice but not especially nurturing or giving 6) Wild side with occasional drug/alcohol use
MrCastle Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 ES maybe that's what the guys you're running into are looking for but not me. There was a thread made yesterday about what people look for in personalities; I was pretty detailed in my post. I believe the thread got moved to a different section, but nevertheless; I think what I wrote is pretty mainstream as far as what most men are looking for and it certainly didn't match up with your idea of a dream girl. PS your avatar makes me smile
ascendotum Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 My best fried is categorized as a "dream girl" like you described but her problem is that she molds her interests so constantly depending on the guy she is with that she always ends up heartbroken. They tend to get bored of her because she is so busy trying to be the girl they want that she doesn't have her own convictions. For a lot of guys, your friend would be a great girl seriously. For sure I can see the downside to her improvised persona, but by and large, a gf who tries hard to be the ideal girl that her guy wants is going to win over plenty of guys. I would have thought it would make her less happy than the guys in the long run though. I certainly don't think ES should change herself just to suit a guy, but I don't think she is that much of a left of centre girl that she is needs to be looking for a 'special' guy. She has been on lots of dates and I bet most of her dates have wished there was follow up dates. It seems the bad luck comes down to the ones that she ultimately decides to go further with. I also thought a number of those rom com types could fit with her. IDK, guys on here all the time get told to shift up their personality to the funny, cool confident, sauve end of the spectrum, to appeal to more women + to read up PUA techniques so they can change their style to improve their prospects. Is it a bad thing to say to women, maybe watch a few of those MPDG movies and change your style or become a little bit more zoey like.
mesmerized Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I exactly know what you are talking about. Shy guys need the extroverted hot girl to boost their ego since they see those girls above them. Now I feel like Im more than enough outgoing for a shy guy but they aren't my type. Im not outgoing enough for my type which happens to have lots going on in life. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 1) Outgoing and bubbly A good thing as long as it's not to extreme 2) Diffuse, superficial enthusiasm or "passion" for everyone and everything. Dated a woman like this, not a fan 3) A bit crazy/nutty in a precious way Can be a good thing and fun 4) Emotionally detached at core but with a facade of friendliness. The kind of person who makes whoever they are with feel special in the moment but doesn't get so attached to any one person. Dated a woman like this, not a fan 5) Nice but not especially nurturing or giving Dated a woman like this, not a fan 6) Wild side with occasional drug/alcohol use The first part is cool/fun, the second part depends on what you mean by occasional & drugs
venusianx13 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Have you ever noticed how in most romantic comedies the girl who the guy has a huge crush on(and ends up getting with) all basically have the same personality type? Most of those movies are written by men, which basically seems like that's the "dream personality" guys go for. Yeah, this relates back to me since I feel like my personality is holding me back more than my looks. Those girls are: 1. Extremely outgoing and extroverted to the point of being manic 2. Leaders, female "alphas" 3. Wild and completely uninhibited 4. Impulsive with a touch of crazy 5. Emotionally detached, cold and aloof 6. Not "nice"or "sweet" by any means 7. Like to sleep around 8. Are into drugs and/or heavy drinking 9. Don't seem to give a f... about the male lead, till the very end I feel like I don't have a chance in hell to get a guy to be truly into me, past just wanting to have sex. I am somewhat shy, introverted, not that chatty, emotionally warm, sweet, sensitive, caring, somewhat passive and probably too intense. If I really like a guy, I am even more shy and nervous around him and he is typically really turned off by that and doesn't even give me a chance. My type of guy is pretty much the male version of myself. Those guys without fail ALL dream of girls with personalities like romantic female leads and often say stuff like "I only go for girls that are really bad for me"... I have had this happen so many times in my life that it's no coincidence. The problem is, I love my personality (well my core personality) - which guys just don't seem to value or appreciate. I don't want to change and become something I hate just to get a guy. Sorry for the rant....any thoughts? Perhaps what you have labeled as "your type" is not really your type at all? I used to be pretty much set in what I thought was my type, until I kept being hurt, without fail, or there was some major flaw in the relationship that I kept having to "bandage" so to speak. It wasn't until I stepped outside of what was my norm, that I met someone so fantastic, I had to pinch myself. And the difference between the relationship I am in now (with this guy I mention) and those I had in the past with guys who were "my type", is like night and day. I am glad I was forced to re-examine what type of guy I thought was "right" for me, even though the process was a painful one. However, If I knew my boyfriend was waiting at the other side, I'd do it all over again.
El Brujo Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 My type of guy is pretty much the male version of myself. MY type of woman is the female version of myself. But such women are not allowed on this planet, so I'm obviously not their type. Unfortunately, obese women who have kids DO think I'm their type... I am NOT flattered.
KungFuJoe Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Never heard of manic pixie dream girl? Manic Pixie Dream Girl - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia I haven't seen any of the movies referenced on that wiki page.
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