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I'm sitting here waiting for a cheater to decide whether he wants to be with me

Dkp

By Dkp
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Dkp Member

Dkp

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This person cheated on me our whole relationship don't know for sure if he's talking to the other person still or not. I want to be with him so bad and don't know exactly why he doesn't even treat me good. What the hell am I doing?! He's telling me to give him some time and to wait for h but meanwhile I can't trust a word that's coming out of his mouth! I tell him to leave me alone until he figured it out and end up texting him later practically begging. I feel so lost and stupid.

ReadMyThread Established Member

ReadMyThread

Posted
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This person cheated on me our whole relationship don't know for sure if he's talking to the other person still or not. I want to be with him so bad and don't know exactly why he doesn't even treat me good. What the hell am I doing?! He's telling me to give him some time and to wait for h but meanwhile I can't trust a word that's coming out of his mouth! I tell him to leave me alone until he figured it out and end up texting him later practically begging. I feel so lost and stupid.

 

Oh boy. He must be a "bad boy" huh? Lol. You know you derserve better but I don't think that will matter. It sounds like you have already fell back to when he left you the first time, begging. :/. Delete his number woman! Lol.

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Dkp Member

Dkp

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Oh boy. He must be a "bad boy" huh? Lol. You know you derserve better but I don't think that will matter. It sounds like you have already fell back to when he left you the first time, begging. :/. Delete his number woman! Lol.

 

I delete everything and find myself texting him right back because it kills me that he won't fight for me. He just lets me go with ease I don't understand why he won't just tell me and put me out of my misery why he's dragging me along! I love him so much

ReadMyThread Established Member

ReadMyThread

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I delete everything and find myself texting him right back because it kills me that he won't fight for me. He just lets me go with ease I don't understand why he won't just tell me and put me out of my misery why he's dragging me along! I love him so much

 

You know I think the same about my ex. But then I tell myself, "why would I want someone who lied and cheated on me to fight for me? She will just DO IT AGAIN!". "dragging me along", see you said it yourself. Even you know he doesn't want to be with you and he is just dragging you along if he can't find anyone else. This guy is lost on what he wants and you should realize that even if he did in fact want to be with you again and would fight for you, it will happen again. But I know you love him Soooooo much lol believe me I know! See I was in te same position you are in right now. My ex cheated on me and left me for the guy she cheated on me with! Then 2 months later she starts texting me and I was just like you! "why isn't se saying she wants me back"? Then guess what happened!? She said she wanted me back we got back together. THEN guess what happened? Lol. She cheated on me and left me AGAIN FOR THE SAME GUY! Lol. You see I WAS in your position but the second time it happened to me I was done! I gave up for good because I know she will just do it again and again and again. So will your ex.

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CptSaveAho Established Member

CptSaveAho

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I delete everything and find myself texting him right back because it kills me that he won't fight for me. He just lets me go with ease I don't understand why he won't just tell me and put me out of my misery why he's dragging me along! I love him so much

 

LOL.... only women.... cant stand indifference

movingon12 Established Member

movingon12

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DO NOT wait around for this guy to decide whether he wants you.

 

DO text/email/call whatever and tell him that you've decided to make his life easier, he doesn't have to choose, having you is no longer an option. Then go NC.

 

And yes I know that's hard. I've done it myself. Most of us here have done it. But it is the only way.

 

If he loved you, he wouldn't need to think about it.

 

He doesn't love you.

 

Not enough.

 

He is not the guy for you.

 

The guy for you is still waiting to meet you.

 

And when he meets you, he won't need time to decide whether he wants to be with you.

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Million.to.1 Established Member

Million.to.1

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Get some self respect girl!

You are allowing him to treat you badly by staying around.

 

you could do better. move on!

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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This person cheated on me our whole relationship don't know for sure if he's talking to the other person still or not. I want to be with him so bad and don't know exactly why he doesn't even treat me good. What the hell am I doing?! He's telling me to give him some time and to wait for h but meanwhile I can't trust a word that's coming out of his mouth! I tell him to leave me alone until he figured it out and end up texting him later practically begging. I feel so lost and stupid.

 

Well you are somewhat lost. You are what is often referred to as a codependent

 

Codependency - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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KatZee Established Member

KatZee

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The only reason you keep chasing this kid is because you're looking for an ego stroke.

 

He cheated. He lied. He doesn't know if he wants you.

 

In YOUR head, you can't understand this. "Who would cheat on me like this?" "Am I not good enough?" "Why won't he or why can't he see how great I am?" "Surely if I stick around long enough he will see I'm so great!"

 

He's lowered your self-esteem so far that this is what you think you're deserving of. This is what you think you're worth.

 

This is not love. Not even a little bit. He cheated on you the whole time, and even now can't even tell you he wants to be with you. That's clear enough sign that he's not into you like that. He doesn't love you.

 

Stop chasing someone that treats you like you're disposable. HE'S NEVER GOING TO FIGHT FOR YOU. Understand that now. Until you do, you're going to continue going back to trash and you're going to continue being hurt, used, played, cheated on, lied to, abused, and treated like garbage.

 

This guy will never love you either, so don't stick around hoping one day he'll "wake up" or "come to his senses."

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Treasa Established Member

Treasa

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You're absolutely gorgeous and you're waiting for this assclown to decide if he wants to be with you?? F that!!

 

This has everything to do with you and nothing to do with him. There's something you aren't giving yourself that you should be. You don't need this guy, trust me. I doubt he's good enough for you even without the cheating part.

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shayla Established Member

shayla

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This person cheated on me our whole relationship don't know for sure if he's talking to the other person still or not. I want to be with him so bad and don't know exactly why he doesn't even treat me good. What the hell am I doing?! He's telling me to give him some time and to wait for h but meanwhile I can't trust a word that's coming out of his mouth! I tell him to leave me alone until he figured it out and end up texting him later practically begging. I feel so lost and stupid.

 

He wants time? Humph! YOU decide what is next in your life, no one else! You have to fight for yourself, you have to trust in the healing process, you have to stop him from coming around, you have to stop listening to the lies coming out of his mouth.

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GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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If you're willing to be this guy's Plan B, then that's exactly what you'll be: a back-up plan.

 

Up to you whether to keep taking that role.

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Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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You know what might really piss you off?

 

Thinking about how smug he feels every time you contact him, and every time he tells you he just doesn't know. Think about what a huge ego this guy must have because you're following him around like a lost puppy after he's shat all over you. Get this through your head - he doesn't give a rat's ass about your feelings. AT ALL.

 

What would really shake him up and grab his attention is if you told him to eff off and mean it, and never spoke to him again.

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Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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You need to tell yourself that you are not someone "second choice". You are not someone consolation prize. You have self worth, and you need to find that self respect and dignity.

 

You make the choice for yourself, and I hope that you will chose YOU! And if the pic in your Avatar is actually you, I speculate that you won't be single for long! ;)

 

No guy is worth the heartache that you're putting yourself through. One day this douche rocket is going to awake up and realize what he lost. And I pray that when that happens it will be too late for him because you found a guy that is going to treat you like the girl you deseve to be treated like. A guy that wants to be with you because there's no other place in the world he would rather be. Not someone that's on the fence.

 

Girl, you need to heal. You need to take it one day at a time and NOT CONTACT HIM!!! If you feel like contacting him. Stop! Take a deep breath and post about it here and have one of us talk you out of it.

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Dkp Member

Dkp

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Thank you everyone for the feedback. I know what I have to do, I know I don't deserve this. It's just very difficult to bring myself to do it. I wanted this person to be the one so badly. It's clear tho that he never felt the same about me it really hurts. I did everything I could.. He's saying that alot if things are out of order in his life and he needs to get those together first and to just give him time. But that just means I'm not a priority to him.. I'm last on his list. I'm going to give him his time alright.. I'm not going to contact him I can't degrade myself anymore I've done this plenty of times and he comes back calling and showing up and I fall right into his arms but I'm really going to stick to it this time. I kno I have to

Edited by Dkp
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Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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If someone cheats on you, they should be out. No questions asked. Do not wait for this person. Get someone who will treat you right. Do not devalue yourself for a person who doesn't give two s--ts about you.

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Treasa Established Member

Treasa

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You know what might really piss you off?

 

Thinking about how smug he feels every time you contact him, and every time he tells you he just doesn't know. Think about what a huge ego this guy must have because you're following him around like a lost puppy after he's shat all over you. Get this through your head - he doesn't give a rat's ass about your feelings. AT ALL.

 

What would really shake him up and grab his attention is if you told him to eff off and mean it, and never spoke to him again.

 

As it seems to be lately, I am of the same mind as Drseussgrrl.

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D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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"You teach people how to treat you". As it applies to you, you are giving this guy the message that what he does is acceptable to you. Why would anyone change a behaviour that receives a positive result?

 

He cheats, and YOU beg for a second chance... How does that make sense?

 

You are in charge here, you have the ability to make a very good choice for yourself. If you choose to continue to chase after a guy that treats you like crap when there is nothing stopping you from walking away- you're cheerleading your own misery.

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Dkp Member

Dkp

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"You teach people how to treat you". As it applies to you, you are giving this guy the message that what he does is acceptable to you. Why would anyone change a behaviour that receives a positive result?

 

He cheats, and YOU beg for a second chance... How does that make sense?

 

You are in charge here, you have the ability to make a very good choice for yourself. If you choose to continue to chase after a guy that treats you like crap when there is nothing stopping you from walking away- you're cheerleading your own misery.

 

If that ain't the truth idk what is.. That part really stuck out to me

"Why would anyone change a behaviour that receives a positive result?" Why would he change if he feels he doesn't have to and that I'm going to stick around regardless.. Like oh she still gonna be w/ me so it doesn't matter what i do. He wants his cake and to eat it too. I've been doing this the whole time. I never really put my foot down and said I wouldn't stand for this. I never said no! This is not okay and this is not how things are going to be. It's so damn hard to let go.. I just keep thinking well what if he get his act together. Maybe just maybe he will realize how much he loves me. But enough is enough I have to be strong and stand firm. I need to stop falling for his lies because he has shown lil effort and the carelessness he shows when I say to leave me alone and to not contact me until he knows what he wants is another sign of how little I mean to this person. : (

D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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If that ain't the truth idk what is.. That part really stuck out to me

"Why would anyone change a behaviour that receives a positive result?" Why would he change if he feels he doesn't have to and that I'm going to stick around regardless.. Like oh she still gonna be w/ me so it doesn't matter what i do. He wants his cake and to eat it too. I've been doing this the whole time. I never really put my foot down and said I wouldn't stand for this. I never said no! This is not okay and this is not how things are going to be. It's so damn hard to let go.. I just keep thinking well what if he get his act together. Maybe just maybe he will realize how much he loves me. But enough is enough I have to be strong and stand firm. I need to stop falling for his lies because he has shown lil effort and the carelessness he shows when I say to leave me alone and to not contact me until he knows what he wants is another sign of how little I mean to this person. : (

 

Well, he isn't likely to change EVER. The likely outcome of you putting your foot down will lead to him moving on to someone else that will put up with his behaviour. The sad reality is that there are lots of women that will put up with him. He will just keep moving from girl to girl as he tires of them or they stand up to him.

 

You can choose to be a doormat in this situation- or you can choose to be someone that has more self esteem than that. The point is- you really are in charge here. If you stick around, you are choosing to be a victim.

 

Sometimes in life there comes a time when we have to make a choice that defines who we want to be. Choose to be a girl that has principles and you won't regret walking away from this guy down the road- I guarantee it.

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Dkp Member

Dkp

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Day 1- it's not as hard as all the other times. I guess because I already expect this pain and have been feeling it all along. No contact whatsoever. I miss him so much and the thought of him being with her is painfully excruciating! I'm playing all of these scenarios in my head of what they could be doing and how much of a great time they're having. It's killing me.. I can't get him out of my head. I just want him to get his act together and love me like I've always loved him but I kno that can never be. It hurts..

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