livelife Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Long story short, i've been with my ex since January. Broke up in June, were working on things since. Things got awesome in August/September, then kinda iffy. I have trust issues because he is a flirt and I constantly was hearing "he is talking to so and so." So I would get upset with him and sometimes would overreact. Anyways just recently, about a month and a half ago I asked him to my sororoties semi formal. He said yes, and the date was November 30th. I asked him I think around Halloween. So during that time something happened, we went on a break, I kept asking him if he was going to be my date and he asked if I wanted him to be, I said yes, but when the date started getting closer we got in a fight. He said we needed to talk about things but he was so busy. So I asked him if we could before Friday because it was semi formal. He never made time never mentioned semi formal never said if he was going or not, wasn't really talking to me. So I asked someone else the night before, very last minute. My friend set me up with this guy so I had just met him and didn't even want him to go.. Anyways, I meet up with my ex the next day after semi to get something and I ask him if we can talk, he said there was nothing to talk about as I had gone on a date. Well He got mad at me about semi and while this is going on, I find out he met a girl on twitter and she drove from a different state to stay the weekend with him. He was posting on an anonymous account about how its a perfect night with his girl" so on so fourth. I got very hurt. I call him the next night and he picks up, denies that the account is his, I know it is, and says they aren't dating she lives in a different state. She is constantly posting things about "distance doesnt matter" and "texts that melt your heart" and " I miss ____(state)" And stuff. So I know they have something going on, but it is so weird because they JUST MET EACHOTHER THE OTHER DAY. This can't be real. Is he just upset about semi formal and is trying to get over me? I don't understand. She lives in a different state.
Author livelife Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 bump=/ feeling realllllyyyy upset today
mammasita Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 How do you know they just met? He could have easily been talking to her for months/years. He doesn't sound like he's worth your time. As for whatever feelings he may be having for this other woman? He doesn't have feelings, period. He sounds like a narcissist. My recommendation. Dump his ass before you fall deeper into his trap and get hurt even more. Dont even try to talk to him or explain what you are doing. Erase him from your life. Run. Far. Block. Him. No. Contact.
Author livelife Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 I know they just met because I saw her car outside of his house and she lives in a different state. I would have seen her car before/or he would have gone out of the state for a while and he hasn't. I've seen her interacting with him on twitter just a couple months ago, so that's how I know it hasn't been years. he is blocked from everything! Phone, facebook, twitter
mammasita Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I know they just met because I saw her car outside of his house and she lives in a different state. I would have seen her car before/or he would have gone out of the state for a while and he hasn't. I've seen her interacting with him on twitter just a couple months ago, so that's how I know it hasn't been years. he is blocked from everything! Phone, facebook, twitter Good for you. I know its hard, but you're doing the right thing. Delete him from your life completely.
venusianx13 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Wow, what a double standard... your ex is such a hypocrite... My ex was this way, and it was awful. Six years of this same kind of thing. Fast forward to the end, after he'd cheated on me 3 times (that I know of, and for which I tried my hardest for forgive him for) and we go on a "break" because our issues were just not being resolved. I meet a guy, and we hook up (in and of itself, not really my style, but I was completely lost at the time). Things didn't end up amounting to much with the guy I'd met, and my ex then came back around, looking to reconcile...however, when he found out about the guy I'd met during our break, that was it, it was over for him. Thank goodness for that being the final nail...but again, double standards. People who operate on them are usually narcissists. Disclaimer: I'm not asserting that I'm proud of what I did, it was definitely a mistake in and of itself.
Author livelife Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 Double standard completely. I need strength to not look at his twitter cause thats where I see posts of her saying **** like " Distance doesnt matter" and "those texts that make your heart melt" all of which he favorites, and it bothers me.
venusianx13 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Double standard completely. I need strength to not look at his twitter cause thats where I see posts of her saying **** like " Distance doesnt matter" and "those texts that make your heart melt" all of which he favorites, and it bothers me. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the whole story, and you should pity her... she'll most likely end up being burned by him as well. I did my fair share of looking at my ex's facebook, and it was a device for self-torment, as it did nothing but confirm what I already knew (he was a lying scumbag), and seeing him and aspects of his life did nothing but continually re-open the wound. It took me a while to stop doing that. Don't worry about what your ex is doing...he has already proven himself to be someone who is way, way beneath your concern.
flitzanu Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 of course his feelings could be real, that doesn't matter if they just met or not. what you should be concerned about though, is his obvious disinterest in you. he's not doing anything to suggest he's into you, so you should certainly not waste time being into him. 1
Author livelife Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 of course his feelings could be real, that doesn't matter if they just met or not. what you should be concerned about though, is his obvious disinterest in you. he's not doing anything to suggest he's into you, so you should certainly not waste time being into him. Yes I know, it is much easier said than done though.
veggirl Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 He is caught up in the excitement / lust of something new. It is fun and drama-free. He is a typical college guy, chasing the next thing. In the future, avoid ambiguity. Did you flat-out ask him if he was going to the formal with you before you asked someone else? Or did you avoid it out of uncomfortableness? Don't be afraid to ask for what you want, and always be willing to walk away from someone who won't give that to you. This guy will never give you what you want, he is flaky and uncommunicative and immature. he would rather pussy-foot around then face the music and just tell you what's up. he's a wuss! I know it's easier said than done but you should go "no contact" on him and heal and move on. This guy doesn't value you, he wants you when it is convenient for him. he is not doing anything to show you he wants you, he's not making you a priority. Don't settle for scraps some dude throws you, realize that you are worth more than that. You're in college and young, set your boundaries now...figure out what you will and will not put up with from a guy and STICK to it! 2
Author livelife Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 He is caught up in the excitement / lust of something new. It is fun and drama-free. He is a typical college guy, chasing the next thing. In the future, avoid ambiguity. Did you flat-out ask him if he was going to the formal with you before you asked someone else? Or did you avoid it out of uncomfortableness? Don't be afraid to ask for what you want, and always be willing to walk away from someone who won't give that to you. This guy will never give you what you want, he is flaky and uncommunicative and immature. he would rather pussy-foot around then face the music and just tell you what's up. he's a wuss! I know it's easier said than done but you should go "no contact" on him and heal and move on. This guy doesn't value you, he wants you when it is convenient for him. he is not doing anything to show you he wants you, he's not making you a priority. Don't settle for scraps some dude throws you, realize that you are worth more than that. You're in college and young, set your boundaries now...figure out what you will and will not put up with from a guy and STICK to it! This is something I really needed to read. Well, I asked him to semi, then about a couple weeks later he officially broke it off. Then a week before semi said we need to figure things out, then the week leading up to semi said that he didnt have time to talk, and when I wasn't seeing him/hearing from him I kinda figured it was over.
Author livelife Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 I saw him in the parking deck today at my university. I was driving and he was walking, I had to drive past him so I kinda just lifted my hand off the steering wheel as a wave, and he gave a small wave back. I have not started NC yet because back when we were good a couple months ago I bought both of us tickets to something in our city. I gave it to him not that long ago and he texted me the other day and said it might be weird if I paid for him and someone to go, and if I wasn't going to put them in use he would give them to a family member or something. I was okay with it, but now i'm not. I'm not going to be a pushover, so I have texted him and asked for them back. He has not yet replied, but the girl that he met online is now coming to visit AGAIN this weekend, so I texted saying that I would be in the area Friday night to pick them up from his mailbox. I am ready for this Christmas break to start because I have guy friends from other schools coming home that i'll hang out with to get my mind off of my ex. 1
Author livelife Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 They both are now parading alll over online that she is coming this weekend and that they are going to see eachother. Just goes to show me that he is trying to make me jealous and It doesn't bother me! I won't give into his games and give him a reaction.
Author livelife Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 Still no response to him about getting those tickets back. Should I just go by tomorrow and see if they are there? Or should I ask him again? I saw him again in the parking deck for school, but we both were driving. I was at the light and he drove past me, I know he saw my car. Do you guys think he still thinks about me?
flitzanu Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Still no response to him about getting those tickets back. Should I just go by tomorrow and see if they are there? Or should I ask him again? I saw him again in the parking deck for school, but we both were driving. I was at the light and he drove past me, I know he saw my car. Do you guys think he still thinks about me? no, you don't show up at your exes house demanding your tickets back that you gave him, and said again that you were ok with him keeping them, that you've now decided you want them back. be mindful of whether you are doing this to be petty and cause drama, or if it REALLY IS that big of a deal. situations like that are so often better off just being left alone. i'd worry that you are looking for reasons to get attention or get a rise out of him simply for WANTING his attention, and not because of the tickets. trust me, i've done that before, and it ends up just making "you" look stupid and immature.
Author livelife Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 I decided that. I went by his mailbox to see but they weren't in there, but I didn't say anything to him about them again and I'm not going to. 1
veggirl Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 What a douche, he should have given them back. However, let it go...it's a small price to pay to maintain your dignity!! He may or may not think about you right now, wait for his relationship to sour with this chick, then he likely will try to hit you up......hopefully you are looong over him by then though and will tell him to eff off.
flitzanu Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I decided that. I went by his mailbox to see but they weren't in there, but I didn't say anything to him about them again and I'm not going to. atta girl. also just to be clear, i agree that if you bought them and then broke up, he should have been cordial enough to return the tickets THEN and not even bothered keeping them at all. didn't want you to think that i felt YOU were wrong, it's just pursuing those things are perpetuating more drama, which you should free yourself of because it's just never worth it.
Recommended Posts