PennGuy Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 (edited) I will never smell her perfume again. I will never sleep beside her again. I will never hold her hand again. I will never have sex with her again. I will never comfort her when she cries again. I will never hear her laugh. I will never kiss her when I get home from work again. I will never get her fuzzy socks when her feet are cold again. I will never cook for her again. I will never have her morning coffee ready for her again. I will never have another Christmas with her again. I will never hear her baby talk her dog again. I will never tell her that she can do anything she puts her mind to again. I will never be in pictures on her walls again. I will never be in the apartment we called home again. I will never take care of her when she is sick again. I will never kayak down the river with her again. I will never. I will never. I will never. After the whole genius text idea today, I'm going back to NC. It's obvious that she wants nothing to do with me romantically anymore. She's said it a dozen times since the breakup. Even though towards the end, I knew it would end up this way, it still hurts. "Even if it's not forever, we were meant to be together. Even if it was only for a while. We touched the sun." Edited December 4, 2012 by PennGuy
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I know how you're feeling. I'm going through that exact same horrible list, over and over again in my head (except from a female perspective). It's not fun. But keep up with the NC. I've been told, and believe, that it's the only way to truly heal. I am 8 days into NC and 10 days into my break-up, and I won't say it's been easy, but cutting him out of my life completely has lessened the pain. Wish you best of luck.
Treasa Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 No, but what's cool is that you WILL do those things - and more - with a woman who adores you, who won't cheat on you, who won't be insecure and then turn and ignore you, who won't put Zumba ahead of you... And won't that be awesome? And that day will come and you'll laugh at how you were ever this hung up on this chick. Trust me on this one. 1
Author PennGuy Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 No one can make sense of what happened. My mother is still disgusted to this day about it. I mean, she likes her and all, but doesn't understand where it all went wrong. Yeah, it got a little stale. Yeah, it got a little boring. Yeah, it got a little routine, but it's not like we started fighting terribly all the time. It was nothing that couldn't be fixed with some work on both our parts. We just needed to make more time for each other, period. Before I left for a weekend trip this August to see a NASCAR race and camp in the track infield, (Which was a BLAST, by the way), I made a special trip after work to give her a really nice goodbye. She was doing a Zumba event in town and I remember kissing her and giving her huge hugs all while her friends were there. They thought it was the sweetest thing. That moment, I thought things were changing....just the way she looked at me, I could see that sparkle in her eyes again. It's like she knew I would never cheat. I would never leave. I asked her multiple times to go, but she didn't want to because "She didn't like NASCAR." Who cares? It's not like you have to watch the race. Just hang out by the camper and party and meet some new people. My best friend and I ended up going and met some AWESOME folks who we are meeting next year. Same date, same time. She always complained that we never did anything anymore, and here was an opportunity to get away from it all, bring the dog, hang out with me and my best friend and wife and just party the weekend away. I never cheated. Never abused her. Always supported her in whatever she did. Pushed her to be a better person. Pushed her to try new things. Let her have her own life. Never bitched when she went out with friends. I did the majority of cooking and cleaning. Her family liked me. Her friends really liked me. I guess it all boils down to her growing up and changing.
Renard99 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Yeah, it got a little stale. Yeah, it got a little boring. Yeah, it got a little routine, but it's not like we started fighting terribly all the time. It was nothing that couldn't be fixed with some work on both our parts. We just needed to make more time for each other, period. I never cheated. Never abused her. Always supported her in whatever she did. Pushed her to be a better person. Pushed her to try new things. Let her have her own life. Never bitched when she went out with friends. I did the majority of cooking and cleaning. Her family liked me. Her friends really liked me. I guess it all boils down to her growing up and changing. PennGuy, I really feel for you mate. The paragraphs I've quoted there could have been taken straight out of my story. I even like motorsport too (although I'm in the UK so haven't experienced that V8 thunder that is NASCAR) and go to events all the time yet she never wanted to go with me, just like your ex. It's crazy. All I can say is that it gets better and we're here for you buddy.
Author PennGuy Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 It's AWESOME, brother. The sound. The smell. The party in the infield. Granted it's not high-class, high-tech F-1, but it's fun nonetheless. I will make it through this one. It will take some time, but I will come out stronger in the end. I need to accept the fact that she isn't rethinking her decision. She is standing her ground and any contact or hanging out is a one way ticket to the friendzone. Which I don't need. She doesn't deserve my love and attention anymore. She forfeited those rights when she ended things. 1
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