Went on a date, unsure on how it went

[Necris]

Okay I just went on a "date" with a girl I met, but I'm unsure on how it went or what she thinks of me.

 

As for the date it started off a little rocky we agreed to go to dinner at this cafe but I got a bit confused and thought she wanted me to meet her at her place first when in actuality we were just going to meet up at the cafe, so I ended up showing up a few minutes late, but I apologized and told her the confusion but she was cool with it.

 

She told me she also invited her friend to come over as well, I was a bit confused at first as I thought it was going to be a one on one thing, but I acted like I was okay with it.

 

So we talked for a bit before her friend showed up and I found out she's from Taiwan, amongst other basic info, though in the beginning we didn't talk that much since she wanted to text someone on her phone probably her friend. After awhile her friend (another girl) showed up and we all got our food and conversed with each other. She mostly asked questions about me and I asked her questions about herself and I tried to joke around a bit with the two of them so overall everything seemed to be going good, but I did forget to tell her about the hummer that went through a solid 6-8 inch reinforced concrete wall without stopping today or how I helped save some people in an elevator a few days ago, but I'll save that for later:lmao:.

 

Though I do wonder should I have paid for the meal? She did insist she wanted to pay for everyone, but since she heavily insisted I thought it would look weird if I keep on insisting to pay battling over who's paying would be strange (also she brought her friend and I didn't want to pay for her) so I let her do it. But I'm not sure if I did the right thing, though I did thank her.

 

So things seemed to go well, and she seemed to be having a good time. Though there was absolutely no flirting, implications of something else, touching of any sort or anything like that from her. After everything was over and it was time to go home she said she'd definitely want to see me again, but in her words "If you want to come to the cafe again you can always call me, and we can do this again." I was a bit unsure on what she meant by this, but that did strike me as odd for some reason. I told her I had a good time, she seemed like a nice girl and I want to meet her again later.

 

I do however have a gut feeling that she was just being nice and this was a friendly get together. So what do you guys/girls think? Do I have a chance?

Edited December 4, 2012 by Necris

[TheFinalWord]

Okay I just went on a "date" with a girl I met, but I'm unsure on how it went or what she thinks of me.

 

As for the date it started off a little rocky we agreed to go to dinner at this cafe but I got a bit confused and thought she wanted me to meet her at her place first when in actuality we were just going to meet up at the cafe, so I ended up showing up a few minutes late, but I apologized and told her the confusion but she was cool with it.

 

She told me she also invited her friend to come over as well, I was a bit confused at first as I thought it was going to be a one on one thing, but I acted like I was okay with it.

 

So we talked for a bit before her friend showed up and I found out she's from Taiwan, amongst other basic info, though in the beginning we didn't talk that much since she wanted to text someone on her phone probably her friend. After awhile her friend (another girl) showed up and we all got our food and conversed with each other. She mostly asked questions about me and I asked her questions about herself and I tried to joke around a bit with the two of them so overall everything seemed to be going good, but I did forget to tell her about the hummer that went through a solid 6-8 inch reinforced concrete wall without stopping today or how I helped save some people in an elevator a few days ago, but I'll save that for later:lmao:.

 

Though I do wonder should I have paid for the meal? She did insist she wanted to pay for everyone, but since she heavily insisted I thought it would look weird if I keep on insisting to pay battling over who's paying would be strange (also she brought her friend and I didn't want to pay for her) so I let her do it. But I'm not sure if I did the right thing, though I did thank her.

 

So things seemed to go well, and she seemed to be having a good time. Though there was absolutely no flirting, implications of something else, touching of any sort or anything like that from her. After everything was over and it was time to go home she said she'd definitely want to see me again, but in her words "If you want to come to the cafe again you can always call me, and we can do this again." I was a bit unsure on what she meant by this, but that did strike me as odd for some reason. I told her I had a good time, she seemed like a nice girl and I want to meet her again later.

 

I do however have a gut feeling that she was just being nice and this was a friendly get together. So what do you guys/girls think? Do I have a chance?

 

Congrats on getting a date! It's a first step, even if this doesn't go anywhere.

 

No way to know for certain. Only way to know is to contact her and ask her for a second date. If there is shady behavior/no reply, then it is done. If she allows for a second meet-up, then you proceed. I think it would be okay to establish it was a date if she agrees to a second meet-up. Just say something along the lines of "I was hoping we could spend more one-on-one time for this meet up". If she says, yes, that is a date.. If she says, no to meeting one-on-one, then I wouldn't invest any more time unless she provides an explanation. To me, meeting in public for a woman is smart. Meeting up with a friend, hard to tell unless you knew it was a date explicitly. That could be for her to have a safety net the first time. If she likes you I doubt you'll have the friend show up again, but I would still establish that. Me personally, I don't like that she was texting while on a date. Rude behavior to me, but I am old school so maybe that is okay for your age range. But overall, I wouldn't analyze it too deeply. Learn to take this for what it is, a first encounter. Usually means very little. If she gives you up to 5 dates (one-on-one) then you can start to invest some emotion.

 

Second thing to consider, is don't worry so much about what she thinks of you, i.e. did I tell enough funny stories, etc. What do you think of her? If you don't like her, then don't keep pursuing it. You didn't mention anything about whether you found her attractive or interesting, more about analyzing for potential problems. Try to stay realistic, don't invest too early, but also give yourself permission to not be interested in her if you're not interested.

 

Best to you!!

[SJC2008]

Congrats on the date!!! Where did you all meet??

[Necris]

Congrats on getting a date! It's a first step, even if this doesn't go anywhere.

 

No way to know for certain. Only way to know is to contact her and ask her for a second date. If there is shady behavior/no reply, then it is done. If she allows for a second meet-up, then you proceed. I think it would be okay to establish it was a date if she agrees to a second meet-up. Just say something along the lines of "I was hoping we could spend more one-on-one time for this meet up". If she says, yes, that is a date.. If she says, no to meeting one-on-one, then I wouldn't invest any more time unless she provides an explanation. To me, meeting in public for a woman is smart. Meeting up with a friend, hard to tell unless you knew it was a date explicitly. That could be for her to have a safety net the first time. If she likes you I doubt you'll have the friend show up again, but I would still establish that. Me personally, I don't like that she was texting while on a date. Rude behavior to me, but I am old school so maybe that is okay for your age range. But overall, I wouldn't analyze it too deeply. Learn to take this for what it is, a first encounter. Usually means very little. If she gives you up to 5 dates (one-on-one) then you can start to invest some emotion.

 

Second thing to consider, is don't worry so much about what she thinks of you, i.e. did I tell enough funny stories, etc. What do you think of her? If you don't like her, then don't keep pursuing it. You didn't mention anything about whether you found her attractive or interesting, more about analyzing for potential problems. Try to stay realistic, don't invest too early, but also give yourself permission to not be interested in her if you're not interested.

 

Best to you!!

 

Thanks, I'll remember what you said maybe I shouldn't analyze too much. Also should I flat out ask her for a one on one date or just ask her for a second date and just see if she brings her friend? As for what I personally thought about her she seemed very nice, friendly and attractive, but we don't seem to have much in common so far.

[MrCastle]

I don't want to be that guy but you didn't go on a date. I do congratulate you on making advancements in your love life and little by little you will get there, but this was a friendly meeting between you and a girl and her friends. We all have to start somewhere though, right?

[Necris]

I don't want to be that guy but you didn't go on a date. I do congratulate you on making advancements in your love life and little by little you will get there, but this was a friendly meeting between you and a girl and her friends. We all have to start somewhere though, right?

 

Yeah basically that's what it really was, I've been on a few real dates before and this wasn't the same, hopefully I'll be able to go on a true date.

 

Hmm... Just remembered I never did ask her if she has a boyfriend, maybe I should ask her just in case, you never know.

[MrCastle]

Yeah basically that's what it really was, I've been on a few real dates before and this wasn't the same, hopefully I'll be able to go on a true date.

 

Hmm... Just remembered I never did ask her if she has a boyfriend, maybe I should ask her just in case, you never know.

 

Yeah. Typically, women who bring friends along at the last second are doing it because they're not comfortable around you alone and need the support or someone to talk to in case the meet up is boring/goes bad. No shame in hanging out and making connections though. Like I said, we all start somewhere, every experience is another block on the staircase to success.

[Mrlonelyone]

I agree with Mr. Castle this wasn't a "date" in the emotionally/sexually charged way people use the word. However, this dosen't have to be all negative.

 

Remember, to women especially younger women, what their friends think of you is at least as important as what they think of you. After that date her and her friend sat and had a long talk about you. Since she wanted to meet up again that's a good sign. However if her friend strongly disapproves of you then it's done. Conversely if her friend likes you then you have earned some real points.

[Necris]

how should I ask her if she has a boyfriend?

[Mme. Chaucer]

"Date" or not, it was a good step. I'd ask her out again.

[veggirl]

how should I ask her if she has a boyfriend?

 

"If you are single, I'd love to take you to dinner on Xday, what do you think?"

or something like that...

 

how did you end up on a date w/o knowing if she has a boyfriend...? can you check facebook or something, if its listed there?

[Necris]

"If you are single, I'd love to take you to dinner on Xday, what do you think?"

or something like that...

 

how did you end up on a date w/o knowing if she has a boyfriend...? can you check facebook or something, if its listed there?

 

I never asked, and just now I'm thinking about it. I guess since it wasn't a true date I forgot to ask.

 

Anyway I do have a strong feeling that she does have a boyfriend, since I saw a picture of her and this other guy together making out.

 

Also I'm bad with Facebook since I hardly use it, how do you look at other people's profiles?

[veggirl]

Just put her name in the search field, you'll find her profile. If it's all private though you may not be able to see any info. Anyway, friend on date, photo making out with a guy...probably not the best signs.

[Necris]

Just put her name in the search field, you'll find her profile. If it's all private though you may not be able to see any info. Anyway, friend on date, photo making out with a guy...probably not the best signs.

 

Yeah not exactly good signs, and I have a strong gut feeling that the guy she was making out with is her boyfriend, since I don't know how to get her info from facebook without adding her I guess I'll just have to ask her.

[somedude81]

I never asked, and just now I'm thinking about it. I guess since it wasn't a true date I forgot to ask.

 

Anyway I do have a strong feeling that she does have a boyfriend, since I saw a picture of her and this other guy together making out.

 

Also I'm bad with Facebook since I hardly use it, how do you look at other people's profiles?

How'd you see the picture of her making out with some dude?

[Necris]

How'd you see the picture of her making out with some dude?

 

Easily, Twitter. I was feeling curious.

[somedude81]

Easily, Twitter. I was feeling curious.

ROFL, you're bad with Facebook but know how to use twitter?

 

Anyways, if she posted something like that on twitter, it's probably a boyfriend.

 

Still you can try, "Hey, I"d like to get together again, just the two of us this time" and that should be enough for her to tell you what's going on with her.

[Necris]

ROFL, you're bad with Facebook but know how to use twitter?

 

Anyways, if she posted something like that on twitter, it's probably a boyfriend.

 

Still you can try, "Hey, I"d like to get together again, just the two of us this time" and that should be enough for her to tell you what's going on with her.

 

Yeah, I'm going to see if I can schedule a one-on-one date and so I can make sure its a date-date, I'll actually use the word "date" when I ask her. Though I can't get my hopes up too high, because now that I think of it I do remember her being with the other dude a few weeks ago, but at that time I didn't know who they were, they seemed to be a couple and were buying food at the same place I was.

[Cutiepie1976]

I hate to be the blunt one on this thread, but you deserve an honest opinion. You didn't have a date, and from her behavior she really didn't want that encounter to be a date.

 

I wasn't there when you asked and I don't know how many women you're asked out in the past, but based on everything that transpired on the date itself, I'm going to guess that you weren't confused about the original meeting place. She just didn't want a date. You picking her up signifies it's a date, so she went to the restaurant. I'm also going to guess that you didn't ask her out in a manner that suggested you preferred to eat with her friends. She invited her friend along to keep it from being a date. Ditto for paying. She wanted to make it crystal clear to you that it wasn't a date. Women may travel in herds, but NEVER ever when asked on a date by someone in whom they have any interest. They go solo on a date!

 

For whatever reason, she's not going to tell you directly that she's not interested. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, etc. Who knows why? What you will get are lots of cues of disinterest, you feeling like you can't get anywhere with her, and eventually you'll get the hint or just give up without her having to be the "meanie" who tells you "no."

 

Find someone else. Sorry to say, you're wasting your time with her!

[Necris]

I hate to be the blunt one on this thread, but you deserve an honest opinion. You didn't have a date, and from her behavior she really didn't want that encounter to be a date.

 

I wasn't there when you asked and I don't know how many women you're asked out in the past, but based on everything that transpired on the date itself, I'm going to guess that you weren't confused about the original meeting place. She just didn't want a date. You picking her up signifies it's a date, so she went to the restaurant. I'm also going to guess that you didn't ask her out in a manner that suggested you preferred to eat with her friends. She invited her friend along to keep it from being a date. Ditto for paying. She wanted to make it crystal clear to you that it wasn't a date. Women may travel in herds, but NEVER ever when asked on a date by someone in whom they have any interest. They go solo on a date!

 

For whatever reason, she's not going to tell you directly that she's not interested. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, etc. Who knows why? What you will get are lots of cues of disinterest, you feeling like you can't get anywhere with her, and eventually you'll get the hint or just give up without her having to be the "meanie" who tells you "no."

 

Find someone else. Sorry to say, you're wasting your time with her!

 

Your analysis does make sense and could be very true, throughout our time together I felt she wasn't interested in me in "that" way, but I can't know for certain until I ask her. I guess I can try to ask her for a date again, but this time make sure she knows its a date-date, but I do have a strong hunch that she just wants to be friends and she may have a boyfriend since I did see a picture of her with another guy making out. Though I am a little worried about asking her because I will most likely lose a potential friend and possibly other options if my intuition is correct.

[Necris]

Yeah, my gut feeling was right as usual, I tried to ask her out on a date-date today and she told me she has a boyfriend, oh well....