coans Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I thought I was doing a lot better and then after Thanksgiving just started a pretty sad spiral..today I checked with a mutual friend of the ex about this holiday party and the friend said that I was not invited because the ex would be there and it would be awkward. I had a sort of ridiculous reaction and called the ex who said he was sorry that I was kind of taken off the list. I said it was "par for the course like pretty much everything else' and I said "see you" ...kept the conversation quick and it was just basically ridiculous that I called. me being me though I called cause I am a conscientious person who was thinking "great, so I can't go to this holiday party but the ex who never checks email has no idea he is invited. this mutual friend will end up being hurt if the ex (the chosen one) doesn't show..blah, blah, blah...so why do I call and put myself through this crap. I have just been ...over the past five months...overwhelmed by how the people in our lives have vanished and hang out with him...and sort of just pretty much forgotten my name. Or have they? I can't go to where we lived or take the bridge or see the views without getting really sad and upset. terrible...in a way this beautiful place I lived for six years is now ruined cause I am too sad to go back there. I am living in another town and miss my old place and my old friends ...but they have all stuck around him and the place we all congregated. ugh...it is just a huge sad thing...losing him, all the people, the family, the house, the water, the odd way he lived (like it was the 18th century), the wood stove...now all shared by the new woman who is 20 years younger than me...and walked right into the life we built together. I think a silly thing like not being invited to a christmas party just busted me up. terrible thing...to be at a loss like this. wish I could get my **** together but I can't seem to.
Author coans Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 to answer your question..I got dumped...but it was a big argument that sort of precipitated it. Long story but his teenage daughter got in the middle of it and then put her foot down that she didn't want me around. after six years ... or after knowing her since she was 9. she is now 16. it was a sort of reaction she had to me pretty much just trying to talk to her. so she stormed off, I stormed off, he stormed off and after a day away he said it was over. problem is that his daughter was upset with that decision in the end. since the break up she has been very upset with her dad. so, it is weird how we had become a family ...unofficially one, I mean no marriage...but after living half the time with his two kids for six years..it was something. he sort of broke it off based on this argument...but had also changed a lot over the past months...like a sort of mid-life crisis was coming. I think he wanted out..and I think this argument with his daughter was his excuse. What is hardest for me is I do blame myself and he dis say the break up was mostly cause of the argument with his daughter. typing it now it probably sounds like some major thing...but it was a typical teenage girl-adult woman tiff that had more to do with her demands on her dad and the way she treated him. stupid me for getting into the middle of any of it. anyway, I am mostly upset because things have been so difficult since...I mean he meets the new woman (actually she was a mutual friend who was pursuing him all along) and I see the daughter standing with her and doing things with her...so it kind of kills me to lose that connection to his daughter, too. It was not easy being an unofficial "step mom" for six years..but you do become close to kids somehow and go through a lot with them. it was all for nothing..a waste of my time..at this point.
Recommended Posts