ScreamingTrees Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Yep, it's frickin creepy. Don't do it... If I caught a gym seriously ogling me or any other girls, I'd complain to the management. Lots of women don't go to the gym as they find it intimidating because of all the guys there. And if they do, they stick to the barbie weight section even through some proper deadlifts would be great for their posterior chain. Dudes, you keep saying you want your women to be slim and healthy. well then, welcome them to the gym, don't creep them out. (Noted, there is a small proportion of women that like the attention, they are probably wearing make up, with their hair loose) Where there's a will, there's a way. Buy home equiptment. Do body weight exercises. Get a barbell & a bench for your basement. Don't need to worry about creepy stares, and you'll ultimately save more and accomplish more if you're actually serious about doing it - it'd be even easier and more convenient in your own home rather than going to the gym, wasting $ on gas, ect..
Under The Radar Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Where there's a will, there's a way. Buy home equiptment. Do body weight exercises. Get a barbell & a bench for your basement. Don't need to worry about creepy stares, and you'll ultimately save more and accomplish more if you're actually serious about doing it - it'd be even easier and more convenient in your own home rather than going to the gym, wasting $ on gas, ect.. Yep, ScreamingTrees "hit the nail on the head". If you already understand program design/implementation, have the proper equipment, and are sufficiently motivated, then a home gym is BY FAR the way to go. I haven't used a commercial gym in years and would never look back. There's a certain satisfaction in having your own fitness facility available 24/7 365 days a year. My gym even has a "No Thong" rule .
sydneysider1978 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 You don't get my point. Women should be free to go where they want without fear of being perved on. Especially if its something that's good for them. The intimidation seriously does put some women off going to a traditional gym. I haven't got room for a home gym, and go to a regular gym in my lunch break. I'm dont really care about this sort of stuff but plenty of girls do and I think it's a real shame. 1
Nightsky Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 You don't get my point. Women should be free to go where they want without fear of being perved on. Especially if its something that's good for them. The intimidation seriously does put some women off going to a traditional gym. I haven't got room for a home gym, and go to a regular gym in my lunch break. I'm dont really care about this sort of stuff but plenty of girls do and I think it's a real shame. How dare you say women should be free of being perved on. It's my freedom to perv on who ever I want as long as I don't break the law by wipping out my dick or some such in public. I can't help it if a woman is intimidated by a horny man now can I?
Under The Radar Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 You don't get my point. Women should be free to go where they want without fear of being perved on. Especially if its something that's good for them. The intimidation seriously does put some women off going to a traditional gym. I haven't got room for a home gym, and go to a regular gym in my lunch break. I'm dont really care about this sort of stuff but plenty of girls do and I think it's a real shame. We DO get your point. We undertsand not everyone has the knowledge, money, or space for a home gym (as evidenced by my disclaimer in the last post ). Of course woman should feel comfortable in a commercial gym setting; no one is arguing that salient point. Unfortunately, you will always have *******s who think their penis is entitled to run the rest of their body .
ScreamingTrees Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 (edited) You don't get my point. Women should be free to go where they want without fear of being perved on. Especially if its something that's good for them. The intimidation seriously does put some women off going to a traditional gym. I haven't got room for a home gym, and go to a regular gym in my lunch break. I'm dont really care about this sort of stuff but plenty of girls do and I think it's a real shame. People look at people all of the time. Who cares? He can't undress and **** you with his eyes, as hard as he may try.. I think you might be blowing things out of proportion anyway, perhaps to have a reason as to why you shouldn't even bother making a major life change that may require consistent effort and permanent changes in your routine.. http://www.girlsinpants.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Big-ass-in-tight-yoga-pants1.jpg Whoever this girl is, she's certainly not petite.. But she carries it well, at least I think so. If you're not in the greatest of shape and are rather on the large side like this, unless you naturally carry it as well as this person, do you really think you're going to get stared at any more than anyone else in the gym? Last and first time I ever went to a public gym on a friend's guest pass, most of the people, male and female were basically in their own worlds. Didn't catch any creepy staring, if anything it was subtle and forgettable. EDIT: Nevermind, I guess you're not looking to go to the gym? I don't know why girls would really care, I've never seen any ridiculous staring before.. A couple of glances here and there shouldn't make a girl want to shout out "RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEE!!!111" Edited December 4, 2012 by ScreamingTrees
Taramere Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 (edited) I checked my gym contract, and I didn't see anything in it about the membership fee buying people the right to stare fixedly at other paying members. I certainly don't see any men at my gym creeping women out like that - but it's a good gym, and I guess the people there have more class than to behave like that. Of course people will glance at eachother, especially where an attractive body is involved, but I can't imagine anybody getting to gawp at other people without a member of staff ending up having a quiet word with them about not making other people's gym time uncomfortable. I recall in my early twenties when I was a member of a fairly small gym that lacked equipment, a couple of guys watching me blatantly on the treadmill and being really quite creepy about it. Due to the shortage of equipment, sometimes people had to wait to use things, and they were obviously doing it so that I'd cut my time on the equipment short. I didn't say anything, but one of the guys working in the gym came over and told them to take a walk. Still, that kind of behaviour wasn't uncommon at that particular gym. I think it often had as much to do with a territorial attitude. Some of the more narcissistic gym goers believing that their fitness was a more important business than other people's and therefore others should be intimidated out of using equipment they needed to use. That particular gym was quite bad for that sort of thing, I recall. If a person has evident learning difficulties or mental health problems, people would no doubt extend a bit more tolerance about them gawping...but I shouldn't have thought many people would want others to be making that assumption about them. So generally, unless you want people to think that you have some problems, it's probably a good idea to not gawp endlessly at others in the gym. It's just creepy and ill mannered. At the end of the day, these places exist to make money and that involves creating an environment that people are comfortable using. Those women pay a membership the same as you do, and they're entitled to use it without having other gym goers' eyes glued on them at all times. Edited December 4, 2012 by Taramere 2
Emilia Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Yep, it's frickin creepy. Don't do it... If I caught a gym seriously ogling me or any other girls, I'd complain to the management. Lots of women don't go to the gym as they find it intimidating because of all the guys there. And if they do, they stick to the barbie weight section even through some proper deadlifts would be great for their posterior chain. Dudes, you keep saying you want your women to be slim and healthy. well then, welcome them to the gym, don't creep them out. (Noted, there is a small proportion of women that like the attention, they are probably wearing make up, with their hair loose) The thing is though, with loose clothing, you can avoid the attention if you want. Just like anywhere else in life. I wear loose short shorts over my leggings so guys can't stare at my butt and they don't. I go to the gym to work out and the only time I'm nervous is when someone is watching my technique. 2
Emilia Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I recall in my early twenties when I was a member of a fairly small gym that lacked equipment, a couple of guys watching me blatantly on the treadmill and being really quite creepy about it. Due to the shortage of equipment, sometimes people had to wait to use things, and they were obviously doing it so that I'd cut my time on the equipment short. I didn't say anything, but one of the guys working in the gym came over and told them to take a walk. Still, that kind of behaviour wasn't uncommon at that particular gym. I think it often had as much to do with a territorial attitude. Some of the more narcissistic gym goers believing that their fitness was a more important business than other people's and therefore others should be intimidated out of using equipment they needed to use. That particular gym was quite bad for that sort of thing, I recall. I remember times like this too. Gym etiquette has come a long way since, there are more of them and there is more equipment. If a person has evident learning difficulties or mental health problems, people would no doubt extend a bit more tolerance about them gawping...but I shouldn't have thought many people would want others to be making that assumption about them. So generally, unless you want people to think that you have some problems, it's probably a good idea to not gawp endlessly at others in the gym. It's just creepy and ill mannered. At the end of the day, these places exist to make money and that involves creating an environment that people are comfortable using. Those women pay a membership the same as you do, and they're entitled to use it without having other gym goers' eyes glued on them at all times. It's true but if a woman wears a trackie bottom and a loose t-shirt, she won't get that much attention. Seriously. Girls who get looked at are the ones who wear tight lycra leggings and tight tops showing of their breasts. Some guys wear tight shorts too because they want to be noticed by certain members. It's just the nature of the thing. 1
Ross MwcFan Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Nothing wrong with staring, just don't do it if they're looking your way because that'd be rude.
Emilia Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Nothing wrong with staring, just don't do it if they're looking your way because that'd be rude. In fact starring isn't really socially acceptable, 'looking' is. There is a difference. People who stare always get caught as they do it for prolonged periods of time. 1
USMCHokie Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I checked my gym contract, and I didn't see anything in it about the membership fee buying people the right to stare fixedly at other paying members. Just as well, I don't think your contract buys you the protection against people staring at you fixedly. I don't actually think it's protected by any laws of our land, and I don't recall it being a criminal or civil offense governed by any laws or regulations. At the end of the day, it's in the business owner's interest of what he wishes to do with his facility. If a person has evident learning difficulties or mental health problems, people would no doubt extend a bit more tolerance about them gawping...but I shouldn't have thought many people would want others to be making that assumption about them. So generally, unless you want people to think that you have some problems, it's probably a good idea to not gawp endlessly at others in the gym. It's just creepy and ill mannered. At the end of the day, these places exist to make money and that involves creating an environment that people are comfortable using. Here's my question...what is actually so uncomfortable about being stared at while working out...? Those women pay a membership the same as you do, and they're entitled to use it without having other gym goers' eyes glued on them at all times. Devil's Advocate here...but can you make a similar argument that the men are paying customers as well and should be entitled to a comfortable workout environment where they get to look at other people...? Or is that too unfathomable...? On a related note, the Australian Special Ops guys have porn playing on the TVs in their gym out here... I found it amusing. 1
bobsmith76 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Just imagine how you would feel. do you like it when you look around and there is a chick looking at you? of course you do. everyone wants to be desired. however, no one wants to be pursued or excessively drooled over by someone who is disgusting. so try not to stare too much.
Emilia Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Here's my question...what is actually so uncomfortable about being stared at while working out...? Not everyone is comfortable with their body being judged. A lot of girls feel insecure about particular parts and they would probably prefer not to be analysed so obviously - especially if they are overweight (at least in their own mind, not by male standards perhaps). Also, it's not particularly pleasant to think of being jerk-off material for the showers later. Maybe it's something that would turn you or your Aussie SF mates on but for most women some gawking weirdo having a w*** in the shower thinking about her is rather creepy. Hm, that's about it. 1
USMCHokie Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Not everyone is comfortable with their body being judged. A lot of girls feel insecure about particular parts and they would probably prefer not to be analysed so obviously - especially if they are overweight (at least in their own mind, not by male standards perhaps). Also, it's not particularly pleasant to think of being jerk-off material for the showers later. Maybe it's something that would turn you or your Aussie SF mates on but for most women some gawking weirdo having a w*** in the shower thinking about her is rather creepy. Hm, that's about it. Fair enough. What about at the beach or swimming pool...? Do the same "rules" and insecurities apply...?
Taramere Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 (edited) Just as well, I don't think your contract buys you the protection against people staring at you fixedly. It depends on how persistent it is. Staring, if persistent and habitual, can be a form of harassment if the person is asked not to do it but carries on anyway. People often use staring as part of intimidatory tactics/a deliberate ploy to make others uncomfortable. There's a huge difference between glancing at somebody a few times, and staring fixedly at them. When drink fuelled fights break out in bars, it's often down to something as simple as one person staring for two long at another, and the stare being interpreted as an invitation to fight. Same thing in the animal kingdom. Anybody who doesn't know that you don't go around staring fixedly at strangers is probably going to run into a lot of problems in life. It's not a problem I've ever seen at my gym, but I think if there were some weirdo staring fixedly at women in the gym, something would be done about it quite quickly. Like most things, it depends on how much they're doing it and how many people start to be sufficiently pissed off about it to complain. You don't just dive on somebody and accuse them of being a creep/perv for staring. However, if they've been told that they're making people uncomfortable and they carry on doing it regardless, then that becomes harassment because the deliberately or carelessly intimidating/tmaking people uncomfortable element sets in. Whether or not it's mentioned explicitly in my contract (and I was joking about looking at my contract...I don't even know where it is) it would certainly be an implied term that members refrain from harassing eachother. It's not a legal duty that would be necessary in a good gym, though, because a quality gym is not going to want members like that (staring and generally being creepy) bringing down the tone. Edited December 4, 2012 by Taramere
Emilia Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Fair enough. What about at the beach or swimming pool...? Do the same "rules" and insecurities apply...? Of course. Which is why a lot of women cover up when they are not sunbathing. Or wear a one piece as opposed to a bikini. A lot of girls take a sarong to the beach with them. A lot of girls also don't go to the beach. This is one of the reasons why I like Australia, people show off belly, cellulite, the whole lot. Very healthy
Author one goal Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 I mean if you look hot and wear tight clothes expect guys to look. It's the laws of nature.
Taramere Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 (edited) I mean if you look hot and wear tight clothes expect guys to look. It's the laws of nature. Looking isn't the problem. Fixed staring is - and if you don't have the social boundaries to differentiate between an interested glance and anti-social staring, then you're going to get into difficulties with other people. I mean, if you think a man drinking in your bar has fabulously large muscles are you going to stare at him fixedly in admiration? Or would you avoid doing that for fear that it might lead to a fight? One person staring at another for too long is one of the most common triggers to strangers getting into conflicts. People don't tend to like being stared at, regardless of the reasons. Unless they're engaged in some sort of performance for an audience (and you shouldn't assume that just because somebody is wearing flattering clothes, they're engaged in any kind of performance for your benefit). Staring at somebody in the ordinary course of events tends to be hostile and adversarial behaviour - whether or not there's sexual desire mixed up with it. . I recall your posting history, and I recall that you've encountered difficulties in the past where people have complained of finding your behaviour inappropriate - and the general sense from the posts of yours I've seen is that you struggle with boundaries. It seems like you're trying to get some validation from people online that you're not doing anything wrong...but if people in the real world are finding your behaviour off, then it's going to carry on causing problems for you - regardless of whether you can find strangers on the internet to validate your world view. Edited December 4, 2012 by Taramere
MrCastle Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I don't think we can get anything done with this thread because we all have our own interpretations of what staring is, and it also depends on who's doing the staring. If an unattractive man in your eyes glances at you for 3 seconds, he's staring like a total perv. If an attractive man in your eyes looks at you for 10 seconds, he's giving you an "interested glance". It's all relative depending on what you think staring is, and then what kind of staring you're willing to accept depending on the individual doing the staring. Allowances are always made for people you're attracted to. Plus we're not even taking into account *how* they're staring. Is it accompanied with a warm grin/smile, is it a blank stare, etc. 2
Taramere Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I don't think we can get anything done with this thread because we all have our own interpretations of what staring is, and it also depends on who's doing the staring. If an unattractive man in your eyes glances at you for 3 seconds, he's staring like a total perv. If an attractive mam in your eyes looks at you for 10 seconds, he's giving you an "interested glance". It's not down to what the person looks like. A woman might be aware of somebody looking at her without even looking at the man, so she might not have a clue whether or not he's attractive. If she's in the mood to be checked out, she'll probably steal a glance herself to figure out whether the man's attractive. If I were in the gym and a very good looking man stared at me for 10 seconds, I would find that creepy. Ten seconds doesn't sound long, but when you count it out in your head it is in fact a hell of a long time to stare at a total stranger. I might think it was a shame that somebody so good looking were creepy, but I'd still find it creepy and strange. Regardless of who it is, thinking back to real life examples, I would interpret glances in the following way 1. A fraction of a second, not followed up by a slightly longer look - total absence of interest. 2. One or two seconds - could mean anything. It could be interest or it could simply be acknowledgement of another person in the vicinity. 3. Three to four seconds. Definite checking out. 4. Anything above 6 seconds, my first thought is probably going to be that perhaps it's somebody who knows me/thinks they know me and is trying to catch my eye - so at that point I'll take a look to see if I know them. If I don't, I'll go back to what I'm doing. Although I do think staring is creepy, in real life I will often tend to assume that somebody who stares in a way may have social problems that I should be tolerant of. If it's actively creepy then it's probably because I sense aggression tangled up with the staring. 1
irc333 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Yep, it's frickin creepy. Don't do it... If I caught a gym seriously ogling me or any other girls, I'd complain to the management. Man-hater alert! *dong dong dong* Complain to management? Get REAL! You're a woman, you're cute, prepare to be ogled!! 2
Emilia Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Man-hater alert! *dong dong dong* Complain to management? Get REAL! You're a woman, you're cute, prepare to be ogled!! REALLY?? Maybe we should experiment how you would enjoy being perved over by gay men perhaps! Oh, that would be different of course, wouldn't it?
irc333 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 REALLY?? Maybe we should experiment how you would enjoy being perved over by gay men perhaps! Oh, that would be different of course, wouldn't it? Hm, have gay women been checking you out?
AlexDP Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 REALLY?? Maybe we should experiment how you would enjoy being perved over by gay men perhaps! Oh, that would be different of course, wouldn't it? Come on, Emilia. It happens and it's no big deal. People check each other out all the time. If it becomes staring and they follow you around, then complain. But you're in a gym to get healthy. Healthy people look good, hence others will be attracted to them. I've had girls I wasn't attracted to ogle me, I've had groups of teenage girls trying to get my attention with all kind of stupid antics and I've even had a gay man be attracted to me once. These things happen to all of us. It's an uncomfortable situation, sure, but it's not the worst that could happen.
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