ThatDudeXO Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I'm seeing someone I like and right now it's mostly physical. When I stay round hers I help with the dishes, I fetch her water or medicine whenever she wants. She doesn't ask me to do this, I offer to get her something if she needs. We went out with a couple friends and she got a bit too drunk and I took care of her. She thanked me for it. I got a bit drunk too so I kept apologising a few too many times. Is being too nice showing that I'm too eager or that I'm a pushover? I really like her and want things to progress from fun to something a bit more.
DC4 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 You get her water and medicine? Are you sure you're not her hospice nurse?
Author ThatDudeXO Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 You get her water and medicine? Are you sure you're not her hospice nurse? She had a bad headache. I asked if she needed it from the kitchen in the morning.
tigressA Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 If she's worth sticking with for something more than fun, she'll make her appreciation of you known, and she'll reciprocate. How has she reacted other than saying thank you? Has she become more solicitous toward you? And have you told her you want more than a sometime hookup?
Mrlonelyone Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 It depends. Does she do similar things for you.
Author ThatDudeXO Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 If she's worth sticking with for something more than fun, she'll make her appreciation of you known, and she'll reciprocate. How has she reacted other than saying thank you? Has she become more solicitous toward you? And have you told her you want more than a sometime hookup? Mostly she's been thankful and I made a her smile a lot. The weekend ended with her thanking me for a fun weekend. I said we should do it more often and we've talked about when to see each other again. I haven't suggested anything obvious that I do want something more because I don't wanna ruin anything. We've only seen each other 4 times so far, I don't want to move anything too fast by saying anything stupid. Her religion suggests that we can't date. Her friend suggested that it's probably just fun for her even though she has had a boyfriend outside of her religion before.
ThaWholigan Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Doing stuff for her is cool if you're naturally like that and you like doing stuff for people without expecting a return. However, reciprocity should be mutual in some way, and maybe she is appreciative but I would try to reign it in a little. Still, do stuff for her if you please, but don't let her "thank yous" gas your head up too much. Wait until there's more concrete evidence that she's into you as much as you are into her. 1
yongyong Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 You are not Voluntarily doing it. When you donate something, do you expect them pay you back? I know all you want from her is being a sweet GF. What if you did a lot of things to her and she leaves you? Can you just brush it off since you did those Voluntarily? Or will you get really mad including calling her a bitch? you know the answer.
Estate Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I'm seeing someone I like and right now it's mostly physical. When I stay round hers I help with the dishes, I fetch her water or medicine whenever she wants. She doesn't ask me to do this, I offer to get her something if she needs. We went out with a couple friends and she got a bit too drunk and I took care of her. She thanked me for it. I got a bit drunk too so I kept apologising a few too many times. Is being too nice showing that I'm too eager or that I'm a pushover? I really like her and want things to progress from fun to something a bit more. We've all been there. I've done it too. There's a difference between being a good guy and an overly nice guy. A good guy will treat a girl well and be there for her, nothing wrong with that. But the overly nice guy sort of goes out of his way to be nice to a point it's hardly natural. Being this way makes you no challenge at all and it's easy for a girl to tire of you. Look at it the other way. If you can't have that awesome girl you see in class or on the bus or something, why is it? She seems unattainable, it would be a huge challenge to get her. Now what if she came over and asked you out, then followed you around like a lap dog, hung on your every word, moreso than any normal friend or anyone else would do... wouldn't you begin to tire of her? Like she's being clingy or it just all seemed too easy, like she couldnt get anyone else. There's just a fine line. Nothing wrong with being the good guy, but don't be too easy or falling over yourself to be doing thing you weren't even asked or expected to do constantly. It just makes you seem less of a challenge and I just feel its easy for romantic feelings to fade when a guy looks like he needs a girl too much. Speaking from experience bro, so hope that didnt come across too harsh. 1
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