sssth12 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 i have been lurking for awhile, i need your advice on my situation. my ex gf broke up with me in may, she said she wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted to be single. it hurt like hell because although our relationship wasn't perfect, it was still a good one. i emailed her a month after and laid it all on the table, told her i miss her like hell and will always love her. she didn't respond. sent her a few texts after that, she didn't respond. she is 27, i am 30. in early OCT i sent her an email wishing her luck on her race (she does triathlons) well, she emailed back and said thanks, i hope things are going well with your training too. i emailed her, just asked little innocuous questions, she replied and we had nice conversation for a few weeks. WELL beginning of last month she told me she was not opposed to meeting up as friends. we met up and she told me about some of her dating stories and i told her some of mine. long story short we drank together and then ending up sleeping together. she looked really worried in the morning and i told her "don't worry, it didn't mean anything." she looked relieved and said "good, i am nowhere near ready for a relationship right now." now we hang out pretty regularly and have sex. we don't really go out on dates but then again even when we were in a relationship we didn't go out much. she always, always insists on paying her own way (and sometimes for me) whenever we go out. we haven't talked about the "Status" of us and i'm afraid to because i don't think she actually wants a relationship with me. Also i think she might be dating other people and i honestly don't want to know about it. she has always had a million guy friends and different pursuers. she seems pretty happy just hanging out, we mostly just toke up and watch netflix at her place the whole time. once we were hanging out and she started bawling out of nowhere and told me we shouldn't be hanging out so often. i told her i totally understood and we could hang out once or twice a week. she seemed happy with that but literally whenever i ask her to hang out she agrees to it. sometimes 4-5 nights a week. when you hang out with someone, have sex with them and also enjoy each other's company, that's a relationship, right? can women play the "don't want a relationship" card and then basically act how she did when we were in a relationship? she is extremely avoidant btw, we never argue really but the downside is that she has never been 100% honest with her feelings. actually she lies a lot, to avoid awkwardness or confrontation. but she has a good heart, and damn she's beautiful. thoughts?
crude Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Sounds like she's a great, modern woman. She has a few FWB, goes out occasionally with other guys, and probably has female friends too. A nice balanced life. Not every woman wants to cling to one guy. If she's beautiful, then men are a dime a dozen. The world needs more women like her.
colombiana28 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 You're getting sex and companionship from each other. You're too scared to give a relationship ultimatum, and it sounds like she wouldn't want to get back together, so I'm thinking you either roll with it without any expectations, or go NC. (Hope you're wrapping it up, btw. It's only good sex if it's safe sex).
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