Narcissistic Personality Disorder

[klb92]

Hi,

 

Can anyone tell me anything they might know about narcissistic personality disorder, and its effects/affects on the children of parents who have this disorder? I believe that my mother (who passed away) had this disorder, and would like to know more about it. I've done online research, but would also like to hear from people who have personally had experience with this disorder or people who have it. Any information is appreciated!

 

Thanks in advance,

 

K

[SheSux]

Here's a few links I hope may help:

 

Characteristics of narcissistic mothers - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

 

Will I Ever Be Good Enough -

 

Adult Children of Narcissists

[amaysngrace]

My exH has NPD (undiagnosed) and we've been divorced for eight years. My 14 year old daughter was suicidal right before thanksgiving because she feels as though he doesn't care and that she's not worth much.

 

He has no true identity. I don't know him and I've known him a long time. He is always someone different depending on who he's around. Sometimes I think he cares and he tries real hard to, but I know it's only temporary with him.

 

He has no soul.

[Feelin Frisky]

The idea of Narcissistic personality disorder IMO should be buffered with the knowledge that for generations education has been almost 100% devoid of any kind of designed or regimented "social development" and remains predicated almost entirely on "competition" as the be all and end all of things in the "western" world. It therefore should not only not be surprising that some people "default" to social extremes in which they view everyone else as just a disposable character in their starring role movie but IMO it's more than time to stop faulting people for the neglects in our systems. And because these neglects have gone on for generations, most people have no idea that they were indeed products of neglect. People not only need nurturing, they need to be led by a system or a society to consider implications that may not come as automatic to them--especially when there is a pressing schedule to grope for new knowledge before you've have full chance to internalize and relate what you've just been taught. Bottom line? Is it fair to say a person has a "disorder" when in truth they are an imperfect member of an animal species that has a repressed, suppressed and denied territorial animal nature? I don't think so. Such "disorders" needs be re-calibrated and education as well as society needs to ascend to a new literacy about true animal/human nature and cease the creationist nonsense that we are all manufactured and only some of us are flawed. None of us are manufactured and ALL of us are flawed.

[amaysngrace]

The idea of Narcissistic personality disorder IMO should be buffered with the knowledge that for generations education has been almost 100% devoid of any kind of designed or regimented "social development" and remains predicated almost entirely on "competition" as the be all and end all of things in the "western" world. It therefore should not only not be surprising that some people "default" to social extremes in which they view everyone else as just a disposable character in their starring role movie but IMO it's more than time to stop faulting people for the neglects in our systems. And because these neglects have gone on for generations, most people have no idea that they were indeed products of neglect. People not only need nurturing, they need to be led by a system or a society to consider implications that may not come as automatic to them--especially when there is a pressing schedule to grope for new knowledge before you've have full chance to internalize and relate what you've just been taught. Bottom line? Is it fair to say a person has a "disorder" when in truth they are an imperfect member of an animal species that has a repressed, suppressed and denied territorial animal nature? I don't think so. Such "disorders" needs be re-calibrated and education as well as society needs to ascend to a new literacy about true animal/human nature and cease the creationist nonsense that we are all manufactured and only some of us are flawed. None of us are manufactured and ALL of us are flawed.

 

True but for some there is no rehabilitation. NPDs are resistant to change. So are pedophiles.

 

What are the success rates in these types? Not too high I bet.

[Radu]

The idea of Narcissistic personality disorder IMO should be buffered with the knowledge that for generations education has been almost 100% devoid of any kind of designed or regimented "social development" and remains predicated almost entirely on "competition" as the be all and end all of things in the "western" world. It therefore should not only not be surprising that some people "default" to social extremes in which they view everyone else as just a disposable character in their starring role movie but IMO it's more than time to stop faulting people for the neglects in our systems. And because these neglects have gone on for generations, most people have no idea that they were indeed products of neglect. People not only need nurturing, they need to be led by a system or a society to consider implications that may not come as automatic to them--especially when there is a pressing schedule to grope for new knowledge before you've have full chance to internalize and relate what you've just been taught. Bottom line? Is it fair to say a person has a "disorder" when in truth they are an imperfect member of an animal species that has a repressed, suppressed and denied territorial animal nature? I don't think so. Such "disorders" needs be re-calibrated and education as well as society needs to ascend to a new literacy about true animal/human nature and cease the creationist nonsense that we are all manufactured and only some of us are flawed. None of us are manufactured and ALL of us are flawed.

 

More than agreed, but with these disorders the success rate of rehabilitation is notoriously low.

As such, the old wisdom of cutting off a diseased limb is good.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Here's a few links I hope may help:

 

Characteristics of narcissistic mothers - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

 

Will I Ever Be Good Enough -

 

Adult Children of Narcissists

 

I am just reading the 'Narcissistic Mothers' article and finding it very enlightening, I can clearly see my sisters and Grandmothers behaviour towards me in this. It's like I'm actually reading my own story. Although my Mother's relationship with me displays some of these traits, this more aptly describes the dynamic between me and my sisters, and the side story about how my Grandmother has always treated me plus favouring my sisters due to them willing to be compliant to her, even more so.

[Feelin Frisky]

More than agreed, but with these disorders the success rate of rehabilitation is notoriously low.

As such, the old wisdom of cutting off a diseased limb is good.

 

But is this particular syndrome a "disorder"? "Disorders"--like OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) are now viewed as "chemically" under-pinned behavioral problems which, when the chemistry is addressed with a medication, the symptoms go away. A narcissist is a much more subjective thing. Where is the line between a narcissist and a sociopath for instance? Both lack empathy and see themselves as the center around which all else revolves. Is this chemical? Or is it natural IF the society/culture neglects developmental priorities to instill social ethics? Is it even perhaps a fact of nature that even if we reform education to include social development regimens and impertaives in which people formally analyse themselves and their interplay with others that it won't matter and just like sexual orientation there is some great portion of the population who just turn out as they are and we need accept that? I think there are a lot of relevant questions to consider when trying to figure out why some people are they way they are and that we must at least consider that the fault lies not in our stars or ourselves but that our institutions have a great deal of neglect and dysfunction still programmed in.

[mammasita]

I dated a guy for about two years, he was a narcissist. Not officially diagnosed, but he fit the criteria.