smog Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 So im going through the angry pahse today! I'm so pissed off with the way i was treated and how she thought it was okay to sideline her husband becuase she thought there was sometihng better out there! I was a devoted, caring husband who, yes, had faults as we all do but I was always there for her, never abused her and whose only guilty crime was perhaps not constantly telling her how much i loved her or making her happiness my number one priority. As i have learnt through counselling the only person that could make my wife happy was her. I did put into my relationship and I wont be made to feel otherwise! Prior to our breakup my wife had been sending flirty text message to her personal trainer? she started by sexy underware?? she would start spending most nights down the gym and i would often come home to an empty house?? We went on holiday two weeks before the breakup and i thought it would be a great way to build bridges and get away from the stresses of everyday life. The entire holiday was a disaster. My wife moaned about how boring it was sitting in the sun and by the pool all day...she wouldnt give anything a chance. After two days of being there she sent her friend a text message already planning her usual saturday night out with the girls!!!! WTF?? After we break up and agree a seperation I found out that two weeks after we split that she kissed some guy at a club because she was angry at me that i didnt chase her when she left me. Apparently she was feeling **** about herself because I hadnt tried to come after her????? She also spent a drunken saturday night out with her personal trainer!!! I'm so furious that she put me through this and that i put up with it and even considered going back. WTF is wrong with me? Funny how they cant see how **** their behaviour is.
pteromom Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Sounds to me like you should be happy to be rid of her! 4
aMguilts Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 So im going through the angry pahse today! I'm so pissed off with the way i was treated and how she thought it was okay to sideline her husband becuase she thought there was sometihng better out there! I was a devoted, caring husband who, yes, had faults as we all do but I was always there for her, never abused her and whose only guilty crime was perhaps not constantly telling her how much i loved her or making her happiness my number one priority. As i have learnt through counselling the only person that could make my wife happy was her. I did put into my relationship and I wont be made to feel otherwise! Prior to our breakup my wife had been sending flirty text message to her personal trainer? she started by sexy underware?? she would start spending most nights down the gym and i would often come home to an empty house?? We went on holiday two weeks before the breakup and i thought it would be a great way to build bridges and get away from the stresses of everyday life. The entire holiday was a disaster. My wife moaned about how boring it was sitting in the sun and by the pool all day...she wouldnt give anything a chance. After two days of being there she sent her friend a text message already planning her usual saturday night out with the girls!!!! WTF?? After we break up and agree a seperation I found out that two weeks after we split that she kissed some guy at a club because she was angry at me that i didnt chase her when she left me. Apparently she was feeling **** about herself because I hadnt tried to come after her????? She also spent a drunken saturday night out with her personal trainer!!! I'm so furious that she put me through this and that i put up with it and even considered going back. WTF is wrong with me? Funny how they cant see how **** their behaviour is. hi smog. Nothing wrong with you at all as far as i can see. You`ve every right to be angry. You are going through phases. Being angry is not a bad thing. it just means you are human. At least you know the truth now. Time for you to heal. What you going to do? regards aM 1
bpdr Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 So im going through the angry phase today! I'm so pissed off with the way i was treated and how she thought it was okay to sideline her husband becuase she thought there was sometihng better out there! I was a devoted, caring husband who, yes, had faults as we all do but I was always there for her, never abused her and whose only guilty crime was perhaps not constantly telling her how much i loved her or making her happiness my number one priority. As i have learnt through counselling the only person that could make my wife happy was her. I did put into my relationship and I wont be made to feel otherwise! Hey Smog - These statements alone are reason enough for you to be feeling rage. It's justified IMO and honestly you are in the midst of a severe roller coaster ride! Thoughts will swing between "Bitter" to "Angst" and downright anxiety and severe depression. My situation is three months out, and STILL catching myself woulda'/coulda'/shoulda' crapola once maybe twice a day. I don't know the reasons we still think in our minds about these POS WW's that are seemingly clueless as to whom they should be to us vs. what they have become. Certainly NOT the women we fell in love with! **SIGH** I feel ya - I REALLY do! Hard 180 NC is about the only option left in these situations - and I know my W HATES being ignored. By anyone, anytime. Especially by me. So, to my way of thinking - I am healing while at the same time inflicting hardship on her and the OM. Because, I know how she is - he's gotta be frustrated in dealing with not only her and her problems - but also the constant berating she verbally acts out with - about me and our D by which will be almost one month way soon be final. Oh Boy! -- I can't wait to start living again! I'm hungry for a woman again. That's a GREAT SIGN! Still, I know ALL the steps of grieving have to be accomplished first. That's my intent. Aside from drinking like a stupid fish - I have not medicated myself at all for the anxiety and depression. I was seriously close two months out. But, now it is getting better. I know this - because now the true admonitions of her behavior are sticking in my mind like glue. For me, there is no more rationalizing her behavior's when we were together. Only the FOG prevented me from seeing it before. But, those days are now coming to a close. Good luck to you! Just remember those words you just put up here on this board. Print them out - then fold them up in your pocket if need be - and whenever you get angry, or blue - break em' out and read em' - It really helps! I swear it... All the best BP 1
trippi1432 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I was a devoted, caring husband who, yes, had faults as we all do but I was always there for her, never abused her and whose only guilty crime was perhaps not constantly telling her how much i loved her or making her happiness my number one priority. As i have learnt through counselling the only person that could make my wife happy was her. While it is her responsibility to be happy with herself, she also has the right to be happy without you, just as you do. Seems to me that your counseling led you down the path of making yourself responsible for your happiness and less responsible for others. Perhaps? Both of you are responsible for that.
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