Confused1111 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 My exgf asked me if i would be open for a break. How can you tell if she means a break or was just saying that to be nice and wants a breakup. Obviously I didnt give any information but im just not sure how much to give. Also, how can you tell if the person has fear of commitment or just isnt that into you? thanks
WhatYouWantToHear Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 How can you tell if she means a break or was just saying that to be nice and wants a breakup. There's no such thing as a break. She's a coward who can't say straight out that she's breaking up with you.
Drseussgrrl Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 "Breaks" are BS. I mean you're not together, right? Do you see other people on this "break"? How often are you supposed to talk? The person being left in limbo on this so-called "break" will constantly be wondering if and when the other will want to get back together. "Breaks" aren't fair and yes usually it's just the precursor to a proper break-up. 1
TaraMaiden Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) My exgf asked me if i would be open for a break. How can you tell if she means a break or was just saying that to be nice and wants a breakup. Easy. When your partner asks for a break, you're heading inexorably for a break-up. If she really wanted a break, she would have said, "Hey *Confused1111*, let's have a break, but we stay exclusive and not date anyone else. We go complete No Contact then meet up in a month (or given date) to see where we're both at." This gives you a finite period and a clear view of a timeline during which time you can both figure how to take things forward. Asking whether you're 'open for a break' is really saying, "I think we need to break up, but I'm nervous about it, so I'll put the ball in your court." What would she say if you said "no, actually, I'm not 'open' for a break. Why do you ask?" Obviously I didnt give any information but im just not sure how much to give. What do you mean by this....'information'....? Also, how can you tell if the person has fear of commitment or just isnt that into you? ....When they ask you if you're 'open' for a break....... EDIT NOTE: If she's your 'ex' - what's with the break? You're already broken up, aren't you? Edited December 3, 2012 by TaraMaiden confusion.....
Author Confused1111 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 I am suspicious that she has commitment issues. Does that change whether its a break or a breakup? She told me that when we are together she has fun and enjoys herself and Im everything shes looking for but when we're not together she doesnt miss me as much as she feels she should.
Author Confused1111 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Information - I just didnt describe the relationship. This is her first serious relationship and shes 29. Does that change anything? i wrote ex bc we arent talking now. i used that term loosely.
TaraMaiden Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Information - I just didnt describe the relationship. This is her first serious relationship and shes 29. Does that change anything? Not really.... i wrote ex bc we arent talking now. i used that term loosely. If she wants a break, believe me, the term is not 'loose'. She's an ex, in every sense of the word. She wants out, and getting you to agree to a break is a good opening for her to do just that. I repeat the advice: Tell her, no you're not open to a break - why does she ask?
Chi townD Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 LOL!!! Sorry, you're thread is Break vs. Breakup. It should be break=breakup. I REALLY hate when guys and girls try to pull this crap. I say call her bluff. Say, "Okay, if you want to take a break. Then, I totally understand that you want breathing room. Okay, here are the ground rules. We take time away from each other to "find our selves" or to get some breathing room. But, we say exclusive to each other. No dating other people, no making out with other people, no sex with other people." Then, have fun watching her trip over her own words trying to come up with a rebuttal. One of the biggest reasons for "taking a break" is because she probably has her eye on someone that she's interested in; however, she's unsure on how he feels about her. And don't ask if there's anyone else because she'll deny it until the cows come home. If the guy doesn't show any interest, then she's got you waiting in the wings and guess what? The break is over. If the guy does show interest in her, guess what? She's kicking you to the curb and you find out a week later that she's in a new relationship. If the guy shows a little interest, she may sweeten the pot by sleeping with this guy. But, this guys sole intention was to hit it and quit it. Then, she comes back to you. You find out that she slept with someone else. BUT! You can get mad! Because you two "were on a break" so it didn't count! You weren't "together" at the time. Don't you love technicalities!
jbsoccer Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 LOL!!! Sorry, you're thread is Break vs. Breakup. It should be break=breakup. I REALLY hate when guys and girls try to pull this crap. I say call her bluff. Say, "Okay, if you want to take a break. Then, I totally understand that you want breathing room. Okay, here are the ground rules. We take time away from each other to "find our selves" or to get some breathing room. But, we say exclusive to each other. No dating other people, no making out with other people, no sex with other people." Then, have fun watching her trip over her own words trying to come up with a rebuttal. One of the biggest reasons for "taking a break" is because she probably has her eye on someone that she's interested in; however, she's unsure on how he feels about her. And don't ask if there's anyone else because she'll deny it until the cows come home. If the guy doesn't show any interest, then she's got you waiting in the wings and guess what? The break is over. If the guy does show interest in her, guess what? She's kicking you to the curb and you find out a week later that she's in a new relationship. If the guy shows a little interest, she may sweeten the pot by sleeping with this guy. But, this guys sole intention was to hit it and quit it. Then, she comes back to you. You find out that she slept with someone else. BUT! You can get mad! Because you two "were on a break" so it didn't count! You weren't "together" at the time. Don't you love technicalities! Hi, so going through something similar. What if youve had this similar conversation and she agrees with the no hook up thing. shes not interested in hooking up with anyone else and gets annoyed if she thinks you are...
TaraMaiden Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Then that's "I love you, but not in 'that' way. I don't want you - but I don't want anyone else to have you either."
jbsoccer Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Then that's "I love you, but not in 'that' way. I don't want you - but I don't want anyone else to have you either." But she doesnt want anyone else either?!
TaraMaiden Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 I wouldn't bank on it.... Trust me. If she's asked for a break, something else has probably caught her eye.... Her interest is wandering. It may not be someone specific, but she's seeing something she believes she's missing....
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