why are rejections always awkward?

[Necris]

I noticed when you get rejected its always a very awkward moment that destroys any existing relationship. A girl can seem nice and friendly at first and we get along well but when I ask her out something will always come up or she'll respond days later with a no, and then she'll become increasingly avoidant (they will avoid me and try not to be near me and it can be quite obvious) until we stop talking all together and she disappears from my life, now on my part its not like I'm continuously asking her out just suggesting it once and this happens. Then again its probably for the best, its better to get this reaction than to just get led on for awhile, which also happens.

 

I know you guys/girls experience this sometimes as well, I was just wondering why does this happen?

Edited December 3, 2012 by Necris

[MrCastle]

Because the dynamics of the relationship have changed. By her turning you down, things have become tainted.

 

I'm sure most women feel bad about having to reject, and the good ones don't want to lead you on so they feel it's better to keep their distance so you don't get the wrong idea and think you have a shot later on down the road.

 

Once a woman gives me the friend line I cut her out of my life so it's a mutual thing. I don't think it's all that awkward. I want you as more than a friend, you only see me a friend, then we cannot continue to communicate.

[Necris]

Because the dynamics of the relationship have changed. By her turning you down, things have become tainted.

 

I'm sure most women feel bad about having to reject, and the good ones don't want to lead you on so they feel it's better to keep their distance so you don't get the wrong idea and think you have a shot later on down the road.

 

Once a woman gives me the friend line I cut her out of my life so it's a mutual thing. I don't think it's all that awkward. I want you as more than a friend, you only see me a friend, then we cannot continue to communicate.

 

Makes sense, its probably for the best, it maybe more awkward if you stay friends after the rejection. Though it does make approaching girls who are friends or within your social group more awkward, but oh well.

[Necromancer]

Because the dynamics of the relationship have changed. By her turning you down, things have become tainted.

 

I'm sure most women feel bad about having to reject, and the good ones don't want to lead you on so they feel it's better to keep their distance so you don't get the wrong idea and think you have a shot later on down the road.

 

Once a woman gives me the friend line I cut her out of my life so it's a mutual thing. I don't think it's all that awkward. I want you as more than a friend, you only see me a friend, then we cannot continue to communicate.

 

This x100000000000000.

 

As he says no reason to be friends with a woman after she rejects you, just waste of precious time.

[IT Geek]

That's one of the big reasons I don't ask a woman out who is in a dinner group with me. I've talked to her a lot and she is absolutely the type of woman I've been hunting for and we have a lot in common, but because she's way out of my league in looks I know there is a high probability she will say no and I don't want to make thinks awkward during our weekly dinners.

[pbjbear]

I havent done a whole lot of rejecting but the ones where I did the guy came on sooooo strong (one gave me a "I like you soooooooo much" speech after 2 dates in front of my friends...so embarassing) and I acted the way you describe out of guilt.

 

And you know what? Thats ok because when Ive done the reverse (although I never come on that strong) and get rejected Im fine not seeing them in fact its preferred...

[aed]

I always find the ´let's just be friends´ line, very rude (except when you where friends before). All the girls I got rejected by, where had the decency to tell it straight forward. for my self I never had need to say let´s be friends to a girl a lost interest in.

 

It helps the persuder to go forward and not clinging on a little hope.

[iiiii]

I noticed when you get rejected its always a very awkward moment that destroys any existing relationship. A girl can seem nice and friendly at first and we get along well but when I ask her out something will always come up or she'll respond days later with a no, and then she'll become increasingly avoidant (they will avoid me and try not to be near me and it can be quite obvious) until we stop talking all together and she disappears from my life, now on my part its not like I'm continuously asking her out just suggesting it once and this happens. Then again its probably for the best, its better to get this reaction than to just get led on for awhile, which also happens.

 

I know you guys/girls experience this sometimes as well, I was just wondering why does this happen?

 

Because the girl firstly feels guilty about rejecting you (and hurting you), and secondly assumes you were probably just interested in a relationship (not a genuine friendship) all along anyway.

 

At least, that's how it works with me.

[NoMoreJerks]

I always find the ´let's just be friends´ line, very rude (except when you where friends before). All the girls I got rejected by, where had the decency to tell it straight forward. for my self I never had need to say let´s be friends to a girl a lost interest in.

 

It helps the persuder to go forward and not clinging on a little hope.

The "let's be friends" line is the epitome of douchebagger IMO, especially when the guy played you and turned you down after leading you on and suggesting a date (without actually going on the date). THis happened to me like 5 minutes ago. Guy cancelled the first date on me, because he had been seeing someone on and off and had developed feelings for her. Why set up a date yesterday then?? Did you wake up today and have a eureka moment?

 

Anyway, he suggested being friends with me, and I respectfully declined (despite the fact that he did not deserve any respect). I was struggling to maintain my composure. I told him I don't want to be friends with men who treat me poorly. If you can't treat me respectfully as someone who is potentially romantically interested in me, you won't treat me any better as a friend. End of story.

 

I have never, and will never, suggest being friends with someone I turned down.

 

A lot of people (mostly men, from what I have heard/read) do this, though, not because they want to be "nice", but because they want to keep you as an option in case they have issues with the girl who's their priority, and it doesn't work out for them... that way, they can come back to you and say, hey, let's pick it up from where we left it ....

[charlietheginger]

Always repay a rejection with a compliment..

 

For example if a women say she has a boyfriend

Just say... Well he is a very lucky guy ...

End convo.

 

Women says not looking for a man right now

Say... Well the guy that you do end up with

Will be very lucky to have you . You seem like

A real wonder full person

End convo.

 

if a girl says flat out no thanks

Say... well i had to try your very beautiful...

End convo..

 

Years ago i was at a bar women looked at me

Rolled her eyes...

I used the line "hey your a hottt women i knew i.didn't

Stand a chance but i had to try .

 

Later she came back apologized her boy friend

Died and she was kinda like everyguy leave me alone

[TheFinalWord]

I noticed when you get rejected its always a very awkward moment that destroys any existing relationship. A girl can seem nice and friendly at first and we get along well but when I ask her out something will always come up or she'll respond days later with a no, and then she'll become increasingly avoidant (they will avoid me and try not to be near me and it can be quite obvious) until we stop talking all together and she disappears from my life, now on my part its not like I'm continuously asking her out just suggesting it once and this happens. Then again its probably for the best, its better to get this reaction than to just get led on for awhile, which also happens.

 

I know you guys/girls experience this sometimes as well, I was just wondering why does this happen?

 

It's happened to everyone friend. The key is to make your intentions known early before any emotional connection is established. That way if you are not received, you are not hurt. Waiting around and letting unrequited love cultivate will feel very similar to break up. Only the feelings are different as there is no resolution. You have build up strong emotions for them, and they have none for you. It can be very painful. Prevention is better than treatment when it comes to relationships. Express interest early on. Only three possible outcomes: yes, no, or games. First one is acceptable. Second and third are unacceptable. Games option (doesn't respond/shady messages/cancels last min with no reschedule) is still a no in the long run, but only after the other person's ego is fed a bit (takes a few times to learn this).

 

If you get a yes, you secure the date, go on the date (be on time, dress nice, be yourself, ask yourself if you like her, don't just focus on what she wants), and then ask for a second date. If no response, it's over. If you get a positive response, go on a second date. Only after you secure and go on a second date do you take things more seriously. A lot of people can fake fun on a first date and later you won't hear from them again, so don't invest much at that point. From there, give it 5 or so dates to really allow for any emotions to grow.

[Under The Radar]

The "let's be friends" line is the epitome of douchebagger IMO, especially when the guy played you and turned you down after leading you on and suggesting a date (without actually going on the date). THis happened to me like 5 minutes ago. Guy cancelled the first date on me, because he had been seeing someone on and off and had developed feelings for her. Why set up a date yesterday then?? Did you wake up today and have a eureka moment?

 

Anyway, he suggested being friends with me, and I respectfully declined (despite the fact that he did not deserve any respect). I was struggling to maintain my composure. I told him I don't want to be friends with men who treat me poorly. If you can't treat me respectfully as someone who is potentially romantically interested in me, you won't treat me any better as a friend. End of story.

 

I have never, and will never, suggest being friends with someone I turned down.

 

A lot of people (mostly men, from what I have heard/read) do this, though, not because they want to be "nice", but because they want to keep you as an option in case they have issues with the girl who's their priority, and it doesn't work out for them... that way, they can come back to you and say, hey, let's pick it up from where we left it ....

 

 

Both genders are equally as guilty in doing this to one another. The policy should always be "Honesty and Kindness".

 

My Personal Philosophy:

 

If you've only been on one date, or have yet to meet in person, nothing is owed as far as a phone call/text (if you are not interested). If we have been on 2 or more dates then I always call the woman and explain that we're simply incompatible. I never offer to "stay friends".