skyone6 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Well I dated this girl for 4 months, I know a short period of time in most people's eyes, but during that time I found myself falling in love for the first. When I met her I had just left a bad situation filled with bad friends, loss of focus on my school work, and family issues. At first I couldn't stand her and wasn't really looking for love and etc., same as her. So after a rocky start between the two of us, we spent loads of time together practically everyday and started to feel deeper for one another. Well due to insecurities we both had due to trust and other factors, we would argue about small things ultimately causing things to end in the summer after we had gone home from school after exams. I made the mistakes of pleading and begging for another chance early on while looking her twitter and tumblr for the next 4 or so months. During that time I found she had fallen in love with me and was deeply hurt, school had restarted, she was dating someone new (her best friend). I wanted to move but as I tried I kept tempting myself to look at her profiles until we started to get in constant fights where it was admitted that we both were stalking each other online and attempting to reach out to each other. This became a problem because she would say she still wants me and miss, but when I mentioned that or try to act on it she would deny it and constantly mock and say how much she loves her new bf. This hurt me deeply so after a while I blocked her (which didn't really work), but she still found ways to check up on me, be it online or using her friends to get information from me. This kept up until the middle of october where we got into another argument about what was said between us, leaving me to tell her to get off my profile and do what she needed to do to cut me out of her life. It hurt terribly but had to be done and I went on to NC. Now a month has past since then and I had been feeling better about things and I was starting to get my life back together when I allowed my temptation to look at her profile take over my better judgement. What I saw was her talking about how in love she was with her bf, which cut me deep, but also how much she hated me and would allude song lyrics and tweets back. Even saw her reply to something I said a couple days before on my profile which led me to believe she was still looking at my page. Along with the hateful messages I would see tweets where she would say she missed me and allude stuff towards that.I ended up tweeting ambiguously why do you hate me on twitter to see if she would notice, which she did which almost led to another argument, but I killed it before it before it got too bad. Well the argument didn't really set me off, but a couple hours later I decided to look at her tumblr, because she is more honest about how she feels on it, only to find that she says despite arguing she still wants to hear from me and then quoting "10 things I Hate About You". This is all going on while she has been dating this new guy since the beginning of the semester. I need help you guys, because despite it all, I do and still love this girl. Think about her all the time even though I don't want to and it kills me. It's like every time I start to move on something either happens or brings me back to her. I can admit that I could myself spending the rest of my life with this girl despite it all, but as of now I just want to move and forget her but don't know how. Please Help P.S. We're both in college
flitzanu Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 how do you feel better? you stop stalking her page and watching everything she does. block her on fb, quit keeping up with anything she does, erase her from your life.
Chi townD Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Look, both of you sound immature. You need to "man up"! Stop following her on twitter and tumbler. Block her on Facebook. You can't stop her from stalking you or inquiring about you. But, you can stop inquiring about her! Stop wondering what she's doing and start healing and moving forward.
LostOne1 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 It's the tough part where you try to limit any contact possible. I know how it feels and at times I become weak too. Today I feel week in the morning just woke up from some dream and I was in sad pain. You feel the need to reach out from your heart, but your mind tells you not to do it that no good will come from it.
emilywtf Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 It is hard, but cut ties. Seriously, defriend her, deactivate your facebook page for a while, and move forward. You both seem to harbor feelings for each other but they are not manifesting in a healthy way. Try to find a new hobby. It sounds dumb but seriously- go the gym, take guitar lessons, join a rugby team, take a painting class. Anything at all to help fill the void. And don't ever look at her page again! All you are doing is opening yourself up to being hurt. Best of luck.
Author skyone6 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) I know you guys are right and you're right I'm pretty immature when it comes to these things, I allow my emotions to alter my judgement. I guess where I struggle is why if she states how she misses me and wants that connection between us but stays with this dude and denies it. It's one of my problems, I guess I enjoy figuring things out like that and that's what also preventing me from moving on. Can anyone help explain her actions so that I can better understand for future reference while also aiding the healing process Edited December 3, 2012 by skyone6
na49 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 When a girl says "I miss you" it doesn't mean anything. She may miss having you around for moral support, but she has no interest in dating you again. If you're okay with this, then you can stick around. If you have any self respect you'll get away from her, you won't look at her page or check on what she is doing, and you'll try to heal. It's all about you now, she has nothing to do with your healing. Not knowing what she is up to is the best way to go.
flitzanu Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I know you guys are right and you're right I'm pretty immature when it comes to these things, I allow my emotions to alter my judgement. I guess where I struggle is why if she states how she misses me and wants that connection between us but stays with this dude and denies it. It's one of my problems, I guess I enjoy figuring things out like that and that's what also preventing me from moving on. Can anyone help explain her actions so that I can better understand for future reference while also aiding the healing process why do you need explanation of her actions? she existed before she met you, and you never would have questioned her behavior as a stranger, and right now you're under the illusion that her behavior is directly related to YOU. it isn't. her life does not involve you right now, and nothing she is doing has ANY BEARING on your life. that's why you need to erase her and quit thinking that all this is relevant to you.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Yeah dude, she doesn't owe you an explanation and any explanation she does give won't be good enough anyway. It will be incomplete or you'll read something into it that's not there and it will torture you more. For the love of god stop stalking her online. Block her Facebook, Twitter, tumblr (whatever the f--k that is), everything. There's nothing there that will help you -- it will only cause you pain.
Author skyone6 Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 You guys are right...she doesn't owe me any explanation of any sort, I guess I was just wondering how you guys interpreted both of our actions and stuff. Regardless I will take everyone's advice and stop looking at her online stuff and NC because ultimately even though I do still love her, I need to move on
flitzanu Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 You guys are right...she doesn't owe me any explanation of any sort, I guess I was just wondering how you guys interpreted both of our actions and stuff. Regardless I will take everyone's advice and stop looking at her online stuff and NC because ultimately even though I do still love her, I need to move on the only interpretation of action you need to see is her not being with you, and her moving on. that action is louder than anything else you want to see.
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