sharsh Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) I wrote this in my diary too, but I figured I'd post it online if I ever found myself in a crisis lol, where I needed to read it. It all focuses on the negative aspects of my 3 year relationship, in hopes that it forces me to move on. Also, I initiated NC with him, since all he texts me about is sex. And its just not good to keep in contact with him anyway. He still texts me every couple of days just to get no response.. Any thoughts or advice is welcome. (: ---- Please read this whenever you are having doubts, when you need reassurance. Patrick broke up with you at the end of October. He's changed his reasons multiple times. Depression. Not "in-love" with you. Just can't be with you right now. A slew of reasons... This time is no different from the other times he broke up with you. He was talking to two different girls *before* he broke it off with you. Just like every time before when he broke up with you. One girl, Deb, through xbox. That's an obvious one. Obviously he was talking to her before, playing video games (lol) with her, getting to know her. After he broke up with you within DAYS he went to see her. Slept with her. Asked her to be his girlfriend. This other girl, Jenn?, he met her "at work". He hasn't even been at work for about three months. He exchanged numbers with her BEFORE he was fired. How does that make you feel? Like sh*t? That he was giving his number out while he was with you? How long was he talking to her before he broke it off with you? He even took her to Christina's one year death ceremony. He wouldn't of taken some girl he's known for a week to something like that. And he has no regard for you feelings! What if you had been there? How bad would that of stung to see him with someone else, so quickly? He's been sleeping with her too, even though he was in a "relationship" with this girl from xbox, sleeping with her, NOT TO MENTION, he was sleeping with you too!! All 3 of us. Do you honestly think he cares about ANYONE'S feelings? He's been trying to keep you on the back burner while he f*cks around with these other girls. He left you because these other girls provided a safety net. He wouldn't of left you if there had been no one else to go to. I don't believe he loves you, Sarah. He's with you and is always looking for someone "better". Don't you see that now? Every girl he's "been" with since he got with you, he met and began talking to WHILE HE WAS WITH YOU!!! Kursti. Tiffany. Starr. Aleasha. Deb. Jenn. It's sad that you even feel like you're forgetting one or two. Really. 3 years of this sh*t. When are you going to realize enough is enough? Realistically ask yourself. "Could you ever trust him?" Has your answer changed? It's probably a no. If you got back together, if you think he's going to try and come back into your life like I think you do... how do you know he won't meet another girl "at work" and give her his number. How do you know he won't be flirting it up on Facebook or Xbox like he has before? How can you be sure he won't ring up the phone sex chatlines again? Are you so sure he won't join another dating site? I bet you still answered no to all of the above. He says he's never cheated on you, but where do you draw the line? Were you chatting up random guys while with him, and then leaving him when you thought "the grass was greener"? Nope. Sad he couldn't have the same love and respect for you. And don't ever let him deny any of this! The facts are there, the pieces of the puzzle fit. Sarah, you were good to him. You did everything you could to make this work. Please, don't think the fault here lies with you. It's his fault. Patrick always thought there was something better out there. That's why even when he had the best, he kept trying to find better in other girls. When he realizes, once again they aren't better, guess who he'll come back to? Haha... Do you need more reason as to why he's just not good for you? Did you keep the texts? When you were pouring your heart out to him all he could text you about was f*cking you. That it's okay if he's sleeping with someone else, he also wants his favorite flavor at the same time, until he gets his fill. Even when you made it clear that it hurts you. The only thing he wanted was to get his dick wet. He has itemized you in such a way that he even said, "I wish you could see me without being sad. And I wish you could f*ck me without crying..." That's a direct quote, girl. He makes it seem like he feels so little for you, he can see you, and be intimate with you without feeling any emotions. Like he can just turn off all feelings for you. Every other time since the break up when he's gotten a hold of you it was for sex. Those were his intentions. Every time. It's a tough pill to swallow, and I'm sorry you have to go through this. You don't deserve it. I don't think he will ever stop "searching" got a "better" girl. He'll never be content with just you. So please. If the situation arises, and he wants you back... Think about all of this. Do you want to keep reliving this? Go through this hurt more? I know through it all, somehow you still love Patrick. You two had some really good times. But Sarah, do me a favor. Love yourself first. Smile. Edited December 3, 2012 by sharsh
Treasa Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 LOL This looks really familiar. I sent myself many emails like that when I went through a really rough breakup a few years ago. I don't know what to say except that you're completely right and that you'll be just fine. If you are anything like me, you'll go through a lot of pain, realize what a loser this guy was, and then laugh yourself silly later when you think about how much time you wasted on this moron who doesn't even deserve to kiss the ground you walk on. The sad feelings, and the remembering of good times, is called cognitive dissonance. Look it up. It's quite normal. I went through it for almost five weeks before I realized what a jerk my ex was, and that I didn't want him back even if he came begging back on his hands and knees. When that happened, I was a little sad for maybe a week longer, and then I was totally over him and happy again.
Author sharsh Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Haha. This break up is really rough on me. While he did all of those things to me with these other girls, the chatlines, the dating websites, our fights even got physical a hand full of times. Our good times were still really good. He made me feel loved like no other. All I can seem to focus on is our good times, which is why I wrote this. I needed to focus on the most negative aspects, and try to make myself...relive them so I can force myself to understand it's just not right, and will probably never change. I'm just scared that if he does try to come back, and I break NC to give him a chance to just talk, he'll sweet talk me back into being with him. That's my weakness, I seem to forget about everything else, and think I'll be happy with him, this time will be different, etc. ):
ReadMyThread Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Haha. This break up is really rough on me. While he did all of those things to me with these other girls, the chatlines, the dating websites, our fights even got physical a hand full of times. Our good times were still really good. He made me feel loved like no other. All I can seem to focus on is our good times, which is why I wrote this. I needed to focus on the most negative aspects, and try to make myself...relive them so I can force myself to understand it's just not right, and will probably never change. I'm just scared that if he does try to come back, and I break NC to give him a chance to just talk, he'll sweet talk me back into being with him. That's my weakness, I seem to forget about everything else, and think I'll be happy with him, this time will be different, etc. ): The last paragraph of this is the story Of my life lol. When they come back, once you see them, you think everything will go back to normal lol.
bitterruin Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I'm going through this same exact thing right now. When he comes back all I need to do is remind myself that I don't want to be with someone who sees me as so easily replace. Today I told him to stop texting me and that I'll delete him from my facebook. I said to him we're not friends and to never talk to me again. He was about to cry, and I felt bad after doing it. And after I left I almost called him back to apologize and take it all back, but I had to save my kindness for myself. He wasn't so kind to me when he cheated with an 18 year old. Just remind yourself that when he comes begging, because he will.
Ramzk001 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 We guys...! When we are not really in love with someone and there is no attraction...We contact our ex's for sexting! Coz we got nothing to lose! We stay careful when it comes to girl who we respect and love. (Personal experience)
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