Kristine Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I think she's beautiful and he's alright, but yes they look fine together.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 ...There are so many stories behind this picture. But the honest truth is, my self esteem has been damaged by this particular guy (more stories to share in other threads I guess!). Since we (this guy in the picture with me) have a lot of mutual friends and my friends seem to always say nice things to me, I was not really sure who to ask to break reality to me. Yes, he does act like he is doing me a favour. Yes, he does probably think he can do better (watched him over the years try to hook up with other girls besides me:( ) and well, he probably realised how loyal I have been over the past 4 years to 'our friendship'. Truth be told, he attitude is getting sort of bad toward me again. I have always treated him with love and tons of respect but my gut instinct makes me think I am not pretty enough for him and hence he treats me in a particular way. Loyalty is good in dogs, and even they will start to scamper away if continually mistreated by someone. It's counterintuitive, but loyalty in the face of mistreatment will not get you what you want. Dump Lurch! Telling you that he treated past GFs better than you should have been your cue to walk. Ditto for him taking personal information and using it against you in the workplace, treating you as if he's doing you a favor by dating you, and whatever other mind games he's playing to try and keep you hooked, feeling inadequate, and lucky to have snagged him. You can do much better than him!
wheream_i Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 That's good enough for some women around these parts. Exactly. Which is why this dude can have a unibrow, make a suit look like crap and still walk around thinking he's got it going on. And it's also the reason his gf stands by and takes his sh*t. Too funny.
RachR Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 You can do much better he has a unibrow and double chin he looks like a middle eastern Jay Leno Lol Op, you could definitely do better than him, looks wise and personality wise.
dasein Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Didn't read whole thread, usually avoid these as they turn out being Indian guy threads, but has been on first page for awhile so giving it a whirl. Can't tell much really about the relative attractiveness of two people from a single picture. Especially one like that that hides most of the woman's body and seems a bad pic of the man's face. What I'd feel comfortable saying from the photo is that the guy is tall and lanky, which lots of women find attractive. The woman's arm looks pudgy, leading me to believe she could be significantly OW. The picture is very flattering of the woman's face, and not flattering of the man's. Anything more said without seeing more pics of each would be foolish, so couldn't really say. Also need more to figure if they look good together.
Emilia Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Yes, he does act like he is doing me a favour. Yes, he does probably think he can do better (watched him over the years try to hook up with other girls besides me:( ) and well, he probably realised how loyal I have been over the past 4 years to 'our friendship'. Truth be told, he attitude is getting sort of bad toward me again. I have always treated him with love and tons of respect but my gut instinct makes me think I am not pretty enough for him and hence he treats me in a particular way. Yeah, I should probably start thinking how to act gracefully on how to not tolerate his bad attitude toward me and stand my ground.....even if it means losing him Lots of attention on the photos, none on the important posts as usual. Why date a man who ignored you for years on end? I think it's really bad how women chase men that don't want to get caught. I don't know what his reasons are for not asking you out for years but it's a mistake to think that a person will just suddenly wake up and start wanting you when they hadn't for a long time. Being 'nice' or 'loyal' in some imaginery friendship will not get you a buiscuit, especially not with someone who is not that interested. He clearly isn't a nice guy, clearly isn't a gentleman, I have absolutely no idea why you are letting him treat you the way he does but he isn't someone you should have been involved with in the first place. I know this is harsh I'm sorry but I don't think the 'oh you are pretty' posts help much to be fair. The bottom line is that you were naive and sold yourself short. Now you are paying the price.
Leigh 87 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Wow, this man is a real piece of work! Honestly, he is not a very nice person; genuinely nice people do not pursue relationships with women they are not much into, only to treat them like crap. You sound like a nice person, not to mention pretty! So, why are you wasting time on a guy who makes you feel bad about yourself, when there are LOTS of men out there who would be THRILLED to have you! Just think about all the men who would be crazy about you, and make you feel like they are so very happy to have you? Imagine how much better it would feel, to be with a man who makes you feel like your the only women he wants? Better still, how amazing would it be to find one of the MANY men, who would make you feel pretty? Life is too short to bother with men who do not treat you wonderfully!
yessy21 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 look. when your mind doesnt feel at ease with someone...take it as your body telling you that the person is not right for you. WHy do i say this? when you have an allergic reaction or something isnt right...your body will find ways to let you know that the chemistry is not right with that combination.
LittlePrince Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 looking good together? Of course this is important since people are living accessories and you must be properly attired as well as accessorized at all times. I can't believe this is an actual issue.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 OP, I'm confused after reading another thread. Is this guy your boyfriend? Your husband? A side lover? Whatever he is, whether you make a cute couple, or who might be the hotter looking one in the pair, is almost a non-issue. Focus less on the superficial and more on the way he and/or your husband are causing you to lose your self-esteem and confidence. Good luck. At least he wants you. I think I am in the opposite situation - where I want to be intimate with him (like 2 or 3 times a week - and only once for each time) however he turns me down and chooses porn instead ;( How would you feel if your husband started looking at porn instead of having sex with you? To me, it sounds like your husband constantly finds you very attractive....lucky woman!
Author Chillinight Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 (edited) The more I read all of your guys posts, the more I realise how looks (compatibility wise) are no longer the issue here. First of all - just to clear up a few misconceptions...the picture was the most recent picture of us (taken last Sunday) and I loved it. I loved how we looked together and because I am so into him, thought he looks extremely handsome in the picture. The 'Lurch' comments and 'sloppily dressed' comments were a first for me as I honestly did not see those features before. After your comments, especially about his body language toward me in the picture, I am realising that the picture is a heart breaking one for me - I no longer see the 'magic' that I thought I won for our relationship. Why I am with him - a mixture of his lifestyle (we have similar interests and pace in life) and also because out of loneliness. wheream_i was laughing at the fact that 'guys' like my current boyfriend can do whatever they want and still get the girl...not true. I have had worse boyfriends in the past and it was easy to get out of those relationships. However, there was a stage that I managed to get rid of almost every guy I ever knew without giving them a second chance which led to a complete year of isolation for me (mind you, I also live far away from my home city - living in a sort-of-new city with no family or friends). Why I left the other guys - they were too insecure / jealous / possessive and a few even cheated on me (thinking I was doing something behind their back but all I was doing was studying or playing PS games ;(). The current bf I am with is the first guy that I am dating who is not jealous, possessive, insecure etc. He gives me my space and for once, I can just be me I am a bit of a loner. I tend to study a lot (studying Masters in Engineering) and take a lot of classes (dancing and attend flying school) and also work fulltime (as a scientist so you can imagine the isolation in my department) and in these environments, I do not connect with anyone. I am pleasant, polite toward my colleagues or classmates but don't have the time to get used to someone to eventually develop a friendship. Because my bf, the guy in the picture, works with me, it has made it easier for us to connect (without putting in too much of effort I guess) by interacting on a daily basis. He finally asked me out over the years because 1. no one else wanted him and 2. I give him lots of attention. I honestly thought I could make it work. I have seen him try to make his ex gfs happy and constantly thought 'wow, these girls are being so mean to him - the poor guy is trying'. Really, he was, and I felt like I could have been that girl to appreciate his ways. At first I thought it was the race issue, but no, its not the race issue - it all depends on how 'pretty the girl' is. He always mentioned about 'this girl' and 'that girl' could have been his gf because they were 'pretty'. Why the picture? I thought I was kidding myself, that I was out of his league and the main reason why I was getting his bad side. But now...maybe he is not into my looks I don't have a lot of guys asking me out and it takes a lot for me to get used to someone. It just so happened that this guy and I know each other for years so that also contributes why I was comfortable to be with him. I will try to find an appropriate way to end this situation, without causing conflict at work, with his family (whom I adore to bits ) and with mutual friends. Edited December 5, 2012 by Chillinight
yessy21 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Well.... at least you put your heart into it. Blindly... but you tried. you will meet someone that will wrap his whole arm around you and shower you with kisses. that day will come soon. 1
mickleb Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 I reckon this guy knows you're better looking than him and has been making all those comments to try to make you feel insecure. I think he thinks you'll leave him for someone else. Which is exactly what you should do! If he'd been a nice person, he'd have had all the love in the world, but he couldn't do that, so now must get what he deserves.
Emilia Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 He finally asked me out over the years because 1. no one else wanted him and 2. I give him lots of attention. I honestly thought I could make it work. I have seen him try to make his ex gfs happy and constantly thought 'wow, these girls are being so mean to him - the poor guy is trying'. Really, he was, and I felt like I could have been that girl to appreciate his ways. At first I thought it was the race issue, but no, its not the race issue - it all depends on how 'pretty the girl' is. He always mentioned about 'this girl' and 'that girl' could have been his gf because they were 'pretty'. Why the picture? I thought I was kidding myself, that I was out of his league and the main reason why I was getting his bad side. But now...maybe he is not into my looks I don't have a lot of guys asking me out and it takes a lot for me to get used to someone. It just so happened that this guy and I know each other for years so that also contributes why I was comfortable to be with him. I will try to find an appropriate way to end this situation, without causing conflict at work, with his family (whom I adore to bits ) and with mutual friends. Settling for each other never works
Recommended Posts