pteromom Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 (he keeps telling me how he treated his ex gfs better etc but will not do the same for me. Only because apparently now he is 'too hurt from the past' and cannot be like that toward me That is ridiculous. He's either in or he's out. It's time to give him an ultimatum. Either he works on getting over the past so he can be vulnerable with you, or you will move on and find someone who can.
MyPoutine Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Perfect example of beauty being in the eyes of the beholder...
MyPoutine Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 He reminds me of Lurch from The Addams Family. Or that huge guy from Get Smart...
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 It's time to raise your standards as well as your self-esteem. 1
clia Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 You are beautiful. Please do not waste your youth and beautiy on a man who does not treat you with love and respect. 2
yessy21 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Honey he is a liar. if you were a complete B**** he would lick the ground u walk on. I am an expert profiler. okay... im overly exxagerating... but darn it im good. No matter what people do to you in ur past u dont treat someone u like, like crap. 1
Author Chillinight Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 Hi All. Was thinking a lot about what was said in this thread last night. Yes, many a times I felt inferior to him because of looks (thinking that he was too good for me and for him making feel that way as well) and had to re evaluate what I need from a relationship. I always believed that when he and I finally did hook up it will be all good and natural. That he would adore me and be happy with what he has got with me. Things did not turn out as I have planned (or 'dreamed' it to be ) and now deciding how to handle the situation. Mind you, it has been two months since we got back from a very messy breakup. He doesn't try to break up with me now but he tries to be 'nice' however I do catch his true colours from time to time. My gut instinct is telling me that he feels guilty to break up with me or treat me too bad so plays sort of 'in-between'. I have been acting distant toward him today. He shows affection but does not bother him too much that he can see I am a little different from my usual bubbly self. I need to find a way to handle myself gracefully, and be strong enough to accept any decision that I make. Guess that is a whole new thread on its own. 1
runningfar Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 The female in this picture is more attractive than the male... he is definitely not too good looking for her. 1
AMusing Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 What specifically does he do to make you feel inferior to him, looks-wise? Does he outright say he feels that way, is it more subtle hints/digs, or is it mostly your own insecurities? If it's the third option, it may be worth it to work on your self-image while calmly telling him you do have those insecurities so he can be more careful in the future. If it's the second option, I'd tell the guy his comments are rude and unappreciated, and dump his ass. If it's the first option, I'd be tempted to show him this thread (as you're walking out the door permanently). Perhaps being likened to Lurch might take him down a peg or two. Kidding, that would be childish... but tempting. Seriously, if it's not strictly an issue with your own self-esteem problems, I'd vote you leave him ASAP. 2
GravityMan Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 That guy has an uncanny resemblance to Frankenstein. His tie-knotting skills are sloppy and subpar. His eyes have that look as if he looks through people instead of at people.
veggirl Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 you are a cute girl, he is very odd looking. he looks as though he got in many many fist fights at some point in his life.
SJC2008 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I'd say yall are close enough in appearance not to garner a double a double take that one of yall is out if the others league. TBS you are more attractive than him IMO and the only thing he's got going for him is his height, and strong jaw. If he was 5'9 or less he'd be pretty ugly IMO. He's not doing you a favor, respect yourself and stand up to this tool. Set him strait, you can get a better man and even better looking man than him. Show him this thread and tell him he's got one foot out the door...
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I get that you've loved him for years … but what is keeping you in this unhealthy and maybe even emotionally abusive relationship? Will you consider leaving it? All I'm getting from you so far is that you'll try to deal with him more gracefully … he does not warrant such and effort, from what you've shared.
maybealone Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Oh god honey forget Lurch here and go find yourself a real man. Lurch! That's who he reminds me of. Or Jason Segal after a disfiguring accident. You are really pretty. And you look sweet, too. You shouldn't settle for someone that acts like he is doing you a favor.
hopelessromantic123 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 You're really cute and pretty! Cute as a button. Him? Not so much. Can you do better? I think deep down you know you can but you're too scared to try! You're beautiful, but there's no point of me or anyone telling you that if you don't beleive it yourself. Good luck
MrCastle Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I don't find him good Looking, hes just tall. That's good enough for some women around these parts.
SJC2008 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 That's good enough for some women around these parts. Not to thread jack but height, regardless of sex boosts your attractiveness. Take a cute girl, nice figure, 5'4". Now make her 5'8" and she's a lot more attractive. Do the same for a man... The reverse works too. That 6'2" good looking guy would be an average joe at 5'8", that's just the way it works.
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 After reading this thread, looks are irrelevant: you must dump this guy. Why would you want to stay with someone who treats you that way? Oh, and even though I said looks are irrelevant because he's a great big douche, you're far more attractive than him, IMO. 1
SmileFace Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 It really doesn't matter about your looks or his. He isn't treating you right ... you shouldn't be with him for that reason alone. Doesn't matter who is more attractive or who is too good for the next person.
AD1980 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 You can do much better he has a unibrow and double chin he looks like a middle eastern Jay Leno 1
SteveC80 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Hes not an attratcive man at all he looks creepy I also find it funny how im called shallow at times yet most people in this thread admit the better looking one in a relationships is the superior one and the one with the upper hand
Author Chillinight Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 Mme. Chaucer - you are really good! (At catching me out on my words). There are definitely more 'skeletons' to this story. More specifically, we actually work together. In the same company but not in the same department. If I have ever raised my opinion, spoke to him about issues that are worrying me, he would turn it around by accusing me of having mood swings, being paranoid for nothing, and start picking on my insecurities. Because of his retaliation, I tend to back off now and feel 'bottled up'. Still trying to find a clear way to clarify the situation so that things don't get untidy at work. I also owe all you posters a proper explanation about 'why I don't feel pretty' when I am with him. Some of the answers are in my head and I do feel too embarrassed right now to type them out because my money is on you guys saying 'wtf - why did I even bother getting with him'. However, I want to construct it more carefully, so that other girls out there who are going through a similar experience will be able to tell the difference between sincere/genuine interests / attraction from a guy vs to what I am going through now. Still thinking about it, and will post it a bit later. However, for this thread, I thank you all for removing any self doubt that I had about myself (as I have said before - my friends always say nice things so its hard to say whether they are just being nice or telling the truth) and any sense of causing him embarrassment in public to be with me has definitely been addressed through all of your answers. Any other issues regarding my relationship with him will definitely be put up in another thread. One can then see how the insecurities started building up to a stage where I had to resort to the internet to feel good about myself
ChatroomHero Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I happen to be a pretty good looking dude, so take it from me, my first thought was, "she could definitely do A LOT better".
Ruby Slippers Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I'm not one to judge a book by its cover - but from the picture, I get warmth from you, coldness from him. He seems kinda checked out of life, and you seem happy, but with your sunny mood dragged down by this heavy weight. Don't bother having a relationship with a jaded, cynical person (man or woman). They'll almost certainly ruin things with their attitude. Don't let some dark-hearted guy dim your inner light! 1
KungFuJoe Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 The dudes suit makes me wanna yell profanities. The jacket nor the shirt fits. The tie is sloppy. The collars are loose. Wow. I could go and on. 1
Recommended Posts