second chances after being too-needy

[GeBa]

Okay so I'm starting to realize that my neediness is what ended up my relationship. I know it's a total turnoff but it's something I need to work on in order to make things better for myself. So I see a lot of threads here in which people say "why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?" or "have some dignity." Well in my case, the breakup wasn't due to there being someone else, or something like that. It was about me being too insecure and needy. Now, if I fix myself, and by that I mean taking care of my insecurities and needy behavior, can a second shot work with my ex? If she gets attracted to me again because of my new ways, do you guys think this relationship will work the second time around?

 

I know a lot of unsuccessful re-relationships are because of the issue of the initial breakup. Usually it's an incompatibility thing, or someone cheated on the other. My question is, what are the chances of a healthy stronger relationship the second time around after I take care of my insecurities. Can it work this time?

[Treasa]

I'm not quite sure how to put this... When you are truly no longer needy, you'll no longer care if your ex wants another shot with you again. Does that make sense? You'll realize you don't want someone who's so willing to give up on you.

[GeBa]

I'm not quite sure how to put this... When you are truly no longer needy, you'll no longer care if your ex wants another shot with you again. Does that make sense? You'll realize you don't want someone who's so willing to give up on you.

 

I see, and that's a really good point. But just because i stop being needy, does that really mean I won't care for her anymore? Does that mean everybody who cares about their partner is needy?? I'm so sorry I just don't understand! I mean no disrespect!

[Treasa]

You can care about your ex all you want, but she still dumped you. Unless you treated her horribly, you shouldn't feel bad.

[lemonlime]

I dont know if thats true. If your not needy anymore you wont feel like you need them. That doesnt mean you still wouldnt want them. Thats almost the definition of a healthy relationship. When you know your ok with yourself, and you know you dont need anyone. Then you can offer the most to someone you WANT to be around you.

 

I had my relationship end because of some stuff that we both were doing, but my actions seemed to be at the heart of it. And I was mistreating him, a lot more then I could even see at the time. Just make sure you dont let her walk all over you out of guilt for what has already happened. Keep your self respect.