source24 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 F**** you for telling me you still loved me. F**** you for telling me that you would tell me before you were ready to move on with someone else. F**** you for sleeping with MY F****ING FRIEND. F**** you for being hurt when that F******* WHO BETRAYED ME slept with someone else in your pledge class. F**** YOU for not telling me for so F****ing long. F**** you for calling me in tears, tripping on shrooms, feeling like the scum of the earth, until you heard my ****ing voice, and suddenly, everything felt okay. F**** you for thinking a F****ING CONDOM protects from STD's like a F****ing idiot. You know how I know your standards dropped? Because you F****ing have to get checked now. F**** you for using drugs to escape our problems. For drinking until you blacked out. For doing shrooms and acid and smoking weed even though you knew how S****ty a state of mind you were in. F**** you for telling me it was "Just Sex." It is great that you were so desperate to feel close to someone for just a second that you would kill me on the inside to do so. F**** you for stringing me along. Acting like nothing was wrong, when I was putting my FULL F****ING HEART into saving this relationship. F**** you for making me feel ****ing worthless. F**** ME for still making you feel better when you called me crying, ashamed, and feeling ****ty and feeling like you were a horrible person that could never get close to anyone. F**** you for ruining my birthday. F**** you for still going out and having fun and acting like you didn't ****ing break my heart. F**** you for making me suicidal and a F****ing crying mess who can't even focus on the work I need to do. But most of all, F**** YOU for wanting me to stay your best F****ing friend through all of this S****. You don't deserve my love. I am the only one who asked you if you were eating properly everytime we talked, especially after your anorexia scare. I was the one who would help you and talk to you about those public speaking classes you were terrified of. F**** me for being the only one in the world who cared whether or not you had money for food. Even your family doesn't give a F****. So F**** you. W**** you for making me care. Get the F**** out of my life. I am better than this, and I will improve myself and come out so much F****ing better. But you, you just keep falling into old patterns. No matter how much I try to help you, you always revert back to your bitchy self. Roses are red. Violets are blue. F**** you whore. Now. Time to go do something productive with my life. Thanks for F****ing showing me how important it is to get rid of the people who pull you down and do nothing but hurt you. Goodbye. 10
cavalier99 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 F**** you for telling me you still loved me. F**** you for telling me that you would tell me before you were ready to move on with someone else. F**** you for sleeping with MY F****ING FRIEND. F**** you for being hurt when that F******* WHO BETRAYED ME slept with someone else in your pledge class. F**** YOU for not telling me for so F****ing long. F**** you for calling me in tears, tripping on shrooms, feeling like the scum of the earth, until you heard my ****ing voice, and suddenly, everything felt okay. F**** you for thinking a F****ING CONDOM protects from STD's like a F****ing idiot. You know how I know your standards dropped? Because you F****ing have to get checked now. F**** you for using drugs to escape our problems. For drinking until you blacked out. For doing shrooms and acid and smoking weed even though you knew how S****ty a state of mind you were in. F**** you for telling me it was "Just Sex." It is great that you were so desperate to feel close to someone for just a second that you would kill me on the inside to do so. F**** you for stringing me along. Acting like nothing was wrong, when I was putting my FULL F****ING HEART into saving this relationship. F**** you for making me feel ****ing worthless. F**** ME for still making you feel better when you called me crying, ashamed, and feeling ****ty and feeling like you were a horrible person that could never get close to anyone. F**** you for ruining my birthday. F**** you for still going out and having fun and acting like you didn't ****ing break my heart. F**** you for making me suicidal and a F****ing crying mess who can't even focus on the work I need to do. But most of all, F**** YOU for wanting me to stay your best F****ing friend through all of this S****. You don't deserve my love. I am the only one who asked you if you were eating properly everytime we talked, especially after your anorexia scare. I was the one who would help you and talk to you about those public speaking classes you were terrified of. F**** me for being the only one in the world who cared whether or not you had money for food. Even your family doesn't give a F****. So F**** you. W**** you for making me care. Get the F**** out of my life. I am better than this, and I will improve myself and come out so much F****ing better. But you, you just keep falling into old patterns. No matter how much I try to help you, you always revert back to your bitchy self. Roses are red. Violets are blue. F**** you whore. Now. Time to go do something productive with my life. Thanks for F****ing showing me how important it is to get rid of the people who pull you down and do nothing but hurt you. Goodbye. Great rant! Man this stuff really tears at one soul. We feel like give it EVERYTHING and are left holding onto a illusion. IMO Anger is fine but you cant live there all the time. I try to Feel it, then try to let it go. Recognize your angry and tell yourself it is OK..And BREATHE. At least 10 slow in and out breaths. Pull your mind into the present and you will feel better. Helps me at least. I go from feeling compassion and forgivness to anger. Maddening. 1
Author source24 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Great rant! Man this stuff really tears at one soul. We feel like give it EVERYTHING and are left holding onto a illusion. IMO Anger is fine but you cant live there all the time. I try to Feel it, then try to let it go. Recognize your angry and tell yourself it is OK..And BREATHE. At least 10 slow in and out breaths. Pull your mind into the present and you will feel better. Helps me at least. I go from feeling compassion and forgivness to anger. Maddening. It is maddening. Especially when you still care about them and want them to be happy, because even if they hurt you, you still want them to improve themselves. I guess sometimes you just have to let them figure it out on their own. And in the meantime focus on yourself and becoming a better person. 2
Treasa Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Good post, but you should work on letting your true emotions out a little more. Can I please set you on my ex? 2
RhapsodyinBlue Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Ahaha I love it! It's okay to be angry. But don't let it get the best of you. 2
Author source24 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Ahaha I love it! It's okay to be angry. But don't let it get the best of you. Haha yeah. I think I just needed to vent a little, more than anything. Sometimes you just gotta let all the anger out so that you can take a step back and think clearly. 1
imstatic Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Why didn't I find this forum earlier? I felt relief when I read your post... Thanks.. 2
Author source24 Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 Why didn't I find this forum earlier? I felt relief when I read your post... Thanks.. Haha glad it is making other people feel better lol Didn't know I was a poet. 1
LostOne1 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 it's good you are using this forum rather than FB. I kinda regret posting my anger towards my ex on FB. I think it brought my friends to feel bad for me.. but probably lost lots of respect from some people too. It's better to post here and let it out. I won't ever be posting crap about someone on FB again. 2
Author source24 Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 it's good you are using this forum rather than FB. I kinda regret posting my anger towards my ex on FB. I think it brought my friends to feel bad for me.. but probably lost lots of respect from some people too. It's better to post here and let it out. I won't ever be posting crap about someone on FB again. I have been tempted to vent through facebook and twitter, but I know that she is on there, and our friends are too, and I don't want her to have the satisfaction of knowing that I am still thinking about her. That is why I come to vent here. Then I go do something productive and post about how I just did something awesome, like get accepted to an internship this winter. It has proven to be a good strategy. lol
magnoliasoutherly Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Wow. We're talking the best of the internet here. Well done! I must say I am very impressed with you. For such a horrible situation, you have such a positive outlook. I mean, the rant is a rant, but I read your other thread so I see a lot of confidence in you. That is incredibly healthy. She truly f****d up but think of it as the future. There is going to be a lucky woman out there one day when you find her. Cheers!
TaraMaiden Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Not enough F***s in my opinion. Boy, she's on a bender. problem is, when we're so in love with someone, we get the impression we can fix 'em.... because they love us, so they'll make the effort. But in our enthusiastic hope, we forget that due to how damaged they are, the negative crap they have to work through is colossal, just to get to the level, before they can focus on working hard, on just being human again. She's in so deep she can't see daylight, and is insanely repeating her tragic mistakes to numb the pain. I'm sorry you had to go through all that schyte, but in a way (and please don't get offended) by tolerating it, there was a level at which you were enabling her problem.... Love does that though.... it blinkers a clear view and befuddles what should be clear thinking. Glad you're out of it. But she's a tragic accident waiting to happen. Have some sympathy for that, because some people, even before they've hit rock bottom, just feel the only way is down, and keep digging....
Author source24 Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 Wow. We're talking the best of the internet here. Well done! I must say I am very impressed with you. For such a horrible situation, you have such a positive outlook. I mean, the rant is a rant, but I read your other thread so I see a lot of confidence in you. That is incredibly healthy. She truly f****d up but think of it as the future. There is going to be a lucky woman out there one day when you find her. Cheers! Haha best of the internet, glad to know that this has the potential to become a legend of the interwebs. I wrote this while I was really angry, but in letting out those emotions I was able to think much more clearly. Sometimes you are blinded by love, by anger, by all sorts of emotions and I just had to realize that even though what we had was beautiful at one point, she is no longer the same person. So now, I try to focus on making myself better, not only so that she know that she lost something amazing when she broke my heart, but also so that I can feel better about myself and become the best person I can be. And just like you said, I want to make myself better for that lucky woman who deserves my love and will give me just as much back. Thank you for your response. It really helped me.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 So now, I try to focus on making myself better, not only so that she know that she lost something amazing when she broke my heart, but also so that I can feel better about myself and become the best person I can be. And just like you said, I want to make myself better for that lucky woman who deserves my love and will give me just as much back. That was a great rant, and Im going to be in the minority here, but much of her behavior towards you was your fault. In addition to focusing on yourself you need to focus on how to read people. There would be tons of red flags that you were too blind in love to see, red flags that you could have seen in her behavior to give you a clue that she lost her attraction to you. Even if youre in love with someone, you have to know what youre doing, you cant fly blind. You have to watch them to see if youre losing them all the time, and work to correct the problem. If you cant do anything about the problem, like if she is going nuts and its all in her head, you have to know when to bail out. Otherwise, you will keep fighting a battle that youre losing, and you wind up ranting on here about a woman you enabled.
Author source24 Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 That was a great rant, and Im going to be in the minority here, but much of her behavior towards you was your fault. In addition to focusing on yourself you need to focus on how to read people. There would be tons of red flags that you were too blind in love to see, red flags that you could have seen in her behavior to give you a clue that she lost her attraction to you. Even if youre in love with someone, you have to know what youre doing, you cant fly blind. You have to watch them to see if youre losing them all the time, and work to correct the problem. If you cant do anything about the problem, like if she is going nuts and its all in her head, you have to know when to bail out. Otherwise, you will keep fighting a battle that youre losing, and you wind up ranting on here about a woman you enabled. See the problem was I did see the red flags, I confronted her about all of them. I would clearly ask her what she wanted. But she kept sending mixed messages. She really doesn't know what she wants. I was blind to a certain extent, but she kept messing with my head when I wanted a clear answer. I asked her to tell me if she wanted a clean break, I wanted to go No Contact really early, but she kept hanging on to me, trying to soften the blow, trying to act like nothing was wrong when something clearly was. How are you supposed to communicate with someone when they refuse to talk clearly to you when you confront them about problems. She never copes with her problems, she always tries to avoid them, and I think this is what ended up happening. She just didn't want to deal with the pain of telling me it was over, and she just kept stringing me a long. I saw that she was a different person, but she just wasn't responding to me wanting to deal with the problem.
Hopeful714 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 That was awesome! Im gonna have to post some of these around my house..lol I'd really like to text my ex some of these. My fave: F**** you for telling me it was "Just Sex." It is great that you were so desperate to feel close to someone for just a second that you would kill me on the inside to do so. 2
Eddie Edirol Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 See the problem was I did see the red flags, I confronted her about all of them. I would clearly ask her what she wanted. But she kept sending mixed messages. She really doesn't know what she wants. I was blind to a certain extent, but she kept messing with my head when I wanted a clear answer. I asked her to tell me if she wanted a clean break, I wanted to go No Contact really early, but she kept hanging on to me, trying to soften the blow, trying to act like nothing was wrong when something clearly was. How are you supposed to communicate with someone when they refuse to talk clearly to you when you confront them about problems. She never copes with her problems, she always tries to avoid them, and I think this is what ended up happening. She just didn't want to deal with the pain of telling me it was over, and she just kept stringing me a long. I saw that she was a different person, but she just wasn't responding to me wanting to deal with the problem. Well of course she wouldnt talk to you, if she told you what the real deal was, you would bail and that didnt work with her agenda. She knew what she wanted, iut just wasnt you, but she didnt want to be alone while until she found what she wanted. At least thats my usual assumption. Now I dont know what happened with your situation before this incident, but my usual assumption was that she finds other guys she wants to date, and keeps you hanging on until she figures out of that guy will work out, as a safety net. But really, you have to know when to walk away. If you KNOW something is wrong, but she doesnt want to talk to you, then you know she is hiding something. Whenever someone says "I dont know what I want" 90% of the time its a lie and a stall. They usually want someone new but dont know how to get what they want, so they settle for you in the meantime. I know you didnt want to go no contact so preserve the relationship, but I can only suggest this for the next relationship. The way to find out what they really want (if they say "I dont know") is to go no contact (I HATE saying that) cut them off and force them to make a decision. And if they have been wishy washy up to this point, then consider yourself lucky that they chose to stop stringing you along and you both can move on. If your first instinct was to go no contact early I think it was because you knew she was full of it. Dont you think? Dont ever expect a clear answer, because you dont know what a dumpers agenda is or how they handle it when they havent dumped you before. They wont give you the real answer if it doesnt work in their favor. 2
todreaminblue Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 it's good you are using this forum rather than FB. I kinda regret posting my anger towards my ex on FB. I think it brought my friends to feel bad for me.. but probably lost lots of respect from some people too. It's better to post here and let it out. I won't ever be posting crap about someone on FB again. I think postign anything on facebook about exes is not the right thing to do ...updating your life every one minute too....not classy...i brushed my teeth....toothpaste feel on the floor i picked it up and continuing brushing my teeth am posting whiel i brush my teeth...ahhh my teeth feel good....umm yawn.........i think posting wrong stuff about an ex or a partner is wrong...i aslo feel a bti cringy when peopel post i am so in love with my boobikins he is so cool he is so hot..then the answerign reply diddddums i love you too i have missed you soooooo much since i have been gone from your sight.....five minutes ago.the next day ....yep they have broken up......please journal privately next time....except for my teenage daughter i want her to post everything absolutely everything so i can know exactly what she is doing.......so i can ground her...smilin i freaking hate face book .......i have it i use it to ground my daughter.....deb
Suziee Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 I think postign anything on facebook about exes is not the right thing to do ...updating your life every one minute too....not classy...i brushed my teeth....toothpaste feel on the floor i picked it up and continuing brushing my teeth am posting whiel i brush my teeth...ahhh my teeth feel good....umm yawn.........i think posting wrong stuff about an ex or a partner is wrong...i aslo feel a bti cringy when peopel post i am so in love with my boobikins he is so cool he is so hot..then the answerign reply diddddums i love you too i have missed you soooooo much since i have been gone from your sight.....five minutes ago.the next day ....yep they have broken up......please journal privately next time....except for my teenage daughter i want her to post everything absolutely everything so i can know exactly what she is doing.......so i can ground her...smilin i freaking hate face book .......i have it i use it to ground my daughter.....deb Boobikins!!! Hahahah, you are so funny, deb. Gawd, I'm just so glad I did not become facebook friends with my most recent ex. One of my exes made his postings public and I was able to see his wedding pictures a year after our break-up. Worse, some of my friends had the nerve to post their congratulations even though they had no other personal contact with the guy (who just happened to be successful) other than through me. I quickly got rid of them. Oh, and the blissful couple in the wedding pictures? They were divorced within 5 months.
Bumaga vsyo sterpit Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 F**** you for telling me you still loved me. F**** you for telling me that you would tell me before you were ready to move on with someone else. F**** you for sleeping with MY F****ING FRIEND. F**** you for being hurt when that F******* WHO BETRAYED ME slept with someone else in your pledge class. F**** YOU for not telling me for so F****ing long. F**** you for calling me in tears, tripping on shrooms, feeling like the scum of the earth, until you heard my ****ing voice, and suddenly, everything felt okay. F**** you for thinking a F****ING CONDOM protects from STD's like a F****ing idiot. You know how I know your standards dropped? Because you F****ing have to get checked now. F**** you for using drugs to escape our problems. For drinking until you blacked out. For doing shrooms and acid and smoking weed even though you knew how S****ty a state of mind you were in. F**** you for telling me it was "Just Sex." It is great that you were so desperate to feel close to someone for just a second that you would kill me on the inside to do so. F**** you for stringing me along. Acting like nothing was wrong, when I was putting my FULL F****ING HEART into saving this relationship. F**** you for making me feel ****ing worthless. F**** ME for still making you feel better when you called me crying, ashamed, and feeling ****ty and feeling like you were a horrible person that could never get close to anyone. F**** you for ruining my birthday. F**** you for still going out and having fun and acting like you didn't ****ing break my heart. F**** you for making me suicidal and a F****ing crying mess who can't even focus on the work I need to do. But most of all, F**** YOU for wanting me to stay your best F****ing friend through all of this S****. You don't deserve my love. I am the only one who asked you if you were eating properly everytime we talked, especially after your anorexia scare. I was the one who would help you and talk to you about those public speaking classes you were terrified of. F**** me for being the only one in the world who cared whether or not you had money for food. Even your family doesn't give a F****. So F**** you. W**** you for making me care. Get the F**** out of my life. I am better than this, and I will improve myself and come out so much F****ing better. But you, you just keep falling into old patterns. No matter how much I try to help you, you always revert back to your bitchy self. Roses are red. Violets are blue. F**** you whore. Now. Time to go do something productive with my life. Thanks for F****ing showing me how important it is to get rid of the people who pull you down and do nothing but hurt you. Goodbye. I recognize my summer self in this rant! She was just as hurtful and I was just as angry and psychotic. In retrospect, both our exes only succumbed to the Flaw of human nature, which is to be much more emotionally than "morally" based. I actually think my ex was an amazing person to put up with my very similar crap every day for two months after our last breakup (until I finally decided to stop talking to her). In retrospect also, the torment of your situation was considerably lengthened by your desperation and willful blindness. Still, I'd give you a ****ing Pulitzer. A word of caution - there's nothing glorious or even enjoyable about working to improve yourself. We tend to say that just to have something to rub in our exes' faces. I stopped talking to my ex six weeks ago, and although my emotional recovery is complete all my plans are still mental masturbation. Thinking you have an amazing future to try and make your ex feel like crap, and actually working on a realistically better future are two completely different things. Mainly, arrogance feels good and hard work feels bad! 1
Author source24 Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 Well of course she wouldnt talk to you, if she told you what the real deal was, you would bail and that didnt work with her agenda. She knew what she wanted, iut just wasnt you, but she didnt want to be alone while until she found what she wanted. At least thats my usual assumption. Now I dont know what happened with your situation before this incident, but my usual assumption was that she finds other guys she wants to date, and keeps you hanging on until she figures out of that guy will work out, as a safety net. But really, you have to know when to walk away. If you KNOW something is wrong, but she doesnt want to talk to you, then you know she is hiding something. Whenever someone says "I dont know what I want" 90% of the time its a lie and a stall. They usually want someone new but dont know how to get what they want, so they settle for you in the meantime. I know you didnt want to go no contact so preserve the relationship, but I can only suggest this for the next relationship. The way to find out what they really want (if they say "I dont know") is to go no contact (I HATE saying that) cut them off and force them to make a decision. And if they have been wishy washy up to this point, then consider yourself lucky that they chose to stop stringing you along and you both can move on. If your first instinct was to go no contact early I think it was because you knew she was full of it. Dont you think? Dont ever expect a clear answer, because you dont know what a dumpers agenda is or how they handle it when they havent dumped you before. They wont give you the real answer if it doesnt work in their favor. You make a great point. I think it is important to just go no contact if you really want to find out what they want. If they want to keep you around, they will make that effort. If they don't they we need to realize that they just aren't worth it. Actions speak louder than words and sometimes you have to push them to make an action instead of just biding their time and stalling.
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