sayitasitis Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 What do you think of a man who was surprised when a female friend tells him she's been with her husband for 16 years in total (dating and marriage)? I witnessed this conversation and have my own opinion of this. But I would like others' views.
movingon12 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 How old is the female friend? If she's 20, I can see why he'd be surprised....
Author sayitasitis Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 How old is the female friend? If she's 20, I can see why he'd be surprised.... The female friend is in her late 30s.
Author sayitasitis Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 My question is more whether you think this man is not used to long-term relationships? That he's surprised others could manage a relationship that long.
mammasita Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 It means he has no faith in the institute of marriage.
Author sayitasitis Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 I agree. But might it also mean that he's commitmentphobe?
naviis Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Or that he hasn't met many people in their late 30s who've been with their significant other for 16 years. It does mean she start dating her husband in her mid twenties so it can be surprising to some people. 1
carhill Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Billions of people; billions of answers. Best question to ask, directly to the man, is 'why (do you appear surprised by xxx)?'. Surprise generally indicates sensory inputs contrary to or out of norm with established perceptions/thought processes. If the man appeared to you to be surprised, it could indicate a transparency of his processing; IOW, he emotes/expresses verbally or non-verbally how he feels in a contemporaneous manner. A more measured or reserved person might feel surprise but express a neutral or stoic tone/demeanor/appearance.
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