laddie Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Well my ex and I broke up around 5 weeks ago. She left after we started arguing more often, lack of affection, etc. We have a child of 2 years old. My ex moved back into her parents house with our daughter. I gave her space when she left, just replying when she text asking for things she'd left, etc We sorted out access for me to see our daughter and also I set up a standing order to give cash weekly for our child. We've managed to stay on ok terms, and I've made an effort to keep things pleasant. Mainly for our daughter plus I've still got some feelings there. When she left, she'd text me for different things every few days. Clothes,etc even recipe for a certain dish. To me this was her way of keeping a link for whatever reason. I'd already left the door open to try again, which she decided against. So I've left it at that and gave her space. I'm finding it hard to move on emotionally, because she blows hot and cold in her texts and also when we've spoken on the odd occasion. It's making me wonder wether to cut my loses and move on completely. Also it's worse because I've still got to see her every week to pick our daughter up and drop her off. So I can't go NC with her. My daughter is the most important thing in all this. But was just wanting some advice really on dealing with this emotionally. Maybe from someone who's gone through a similar situation. Thanks
YorickBrown Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Well my ex and I broke up around 5 weeks ago. She left after we started arguing more often, lack of affection, etc. We have a child of 2 years old. My ex moved back into her parents house with our daughter. I gave her space when she left, just replying when she text asking for things she'd left, etc We sorted out access for me to see our daughter and also I set up a standing order to give cash weekly for our child. We've managed to stay on ok terms, and I've made an effort to keep things pleasant. Mainly for our daughter plus I've still got some feelings there. When she left, she'd text me for different things every few days. Clothes,etc even recipe for a certain dish. To me this was her way of keeping a link for whatever reason. I'd already left the door open to try again, which she decided against. So I've left it at that and gave her space. I'm finding it hard to move on emotionally, because she blows hot and cold in her texts and also when we've spoken on the odd occasion. It's making me wonder wether to cut my loses and move on completely. Also it's worse because I've still got to see her every week to pick our daughter up and drop her off. So I can't go NC with her. My daughter is the most important thing in all this. But was just wanting some advice really on dealing with this emotionally. Maybe from someone who's gone through a similar situation. Thanks I fully understand your situation, even though Im NOT really in that same position as you are right now (although, tbh, i think your are in a better one than I am). ...Well, I havent reached the point where I've confirmed if indeed I have a baby daughter already with my ex-gf...but yeah, just the thought about being separated from the kid is already driving me a little bit nuts. Im so worried now, that if its positively confirmed...I'd go ballistic if she denies me visitation... Fatherhood changes everything...<sigh> as if that's not enough, my ex-gf got married...wtf right? The only thing I can tell you is...if you have a chance of "salvaging" your relationship with your ex....you better do it now...try to do your best at being a family again...Believe me, you do not want to end up in my current situation now (especially if your ex is one MILF...sorry I had to mention that)
Author laddie Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Yep its been really hard not seeing my daughter daily, hopefully it'll become easier in time. I already spoke to my ex saying it would be worth salvaging the relationship, and trying to change certain aspects of it to try and make it work, so she knows the opportunity is there to try again. She's said it's better to move on. I don't want to keep saying it because I'll just lose self respect and push her further away. It's just confusing getting mixed signals from her, warm one minute and stand offish the next. Probably be better if she didn't text me every couple of days as well. It would be easier having NC and move on but that's not really an option when our daughter is involved. I'm finding its prolonging the pain because we have to keep in touch and see each other. Hope you manage to sort out your situation, good luck..
YorickBrown Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Yep its been really hard not seeing my daughter daily, hopefully it'll become easier in time. I already spoke to my ex saying it would be worth salvaging the relationship, and trying to change certain aspects of it to try and make it work, so she knows the opportunity is there to try again. She's said it's better to move on. I don't want to keep saying it because I'll just lose self respect and push her further away. It's just confusing getting mixed signals from her, warm one minute and stand offish the next. Probably be better if she didn't text me every couple of days as well. It would be easier having NC and move on but that's not really an option when our daughter is involved. I'm finding its prolonging the pain because we have to keep in touch and see each other. Hope you manage to sort out your situation, good luck.. That's how my ex was when we were "breaking-up" (I gave her some space which seemed a good idea at that time, so I didn't know she got or was already pregnant) She never gave me any idea what state she was in (and the idiot that I was I didnt even notice it)....but later on I kinda knew that she already found someone else, but Im the kind of person who would step aside for her happiness and not force her to be with me if she doesnt love me anymore (BUT NOT IF YOU"RE PREGNANT WITH MY KID ALREADY)...that's an entirely different scenario for me (its one thing to give her up and totally another to give up my first-born). I was not only betrayed but tricked out of my (possibly) baby girl...As a father yourself...that can't be right...right? Where is my self-respect and pride if I abandon that child? Im sorry:(, i get so emotional thinking about this...Im going back to her hometown and confront her about this but its gonna be so "challenging" just to get near my ex and her (possibly our) child now....not to mention asking for a paternity test. She's making me break my NC in such a terrible way...I feel like Michael Corleone in the Godfather: " " PS: If I do get the PT and it turns out positive, I may just need the Godfather to get this situation settled<sigh>
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