jw77 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I'm new here and not really sure where this thread\post belongs but REALLY need to get this off my chest, in fact, I am feeling relieved just to begin typing and knowing maybe someone will read it. Where to start . . Ok so I have been in a happy, committed relationship with a girl I love and have loved for going on five years now. She has everything I look for in a girl and can fully see myself popping the question within the coming years. Once I became involved with her I hadn't even thought about paying attention to any other women. That said over this past summer, one of the interns at my office and I became very close friends and I grew very fond of her. She is a gorgeous, smart outgoing girl and I quickly became infatuated with and began spending considerable amount of time with. There was an obvious attraction shared by the two of us, so much so my boss even had to pull me into his office several times and meet with me to make sure we were not romantically involved. I made sure that nothing physical ever happened and went to great lengths to ensure I would not put myself in a situation where I would be tempted to stray from the woman who I consider to be my soulmate. Unfortunately my friendship with my officemate began to interfere with my relationship because I became disinterested in my girl and could not stop think about my friend at work, so I ended up asking my girlfriend if we could take some time off, I never told her what was going on but she eventually figured it halfway out.. she was absolutely distraught and would've done anything to get me back. The problem with that is that I never stopped loving her and knew the whole time she was and is the one for me. Anyway, my intern friend and I grew ever closer as the summer continued and even went on several dates, nothing heavy though, I never expressed my feelings towards her fully. We ended up going to lunch together nearly every day and because I did not want to get into a full blown office relationship especially with an intern and because I still loved my longterm girlfriend I kept my distance as much as my infatuation with her would allow and just tried to ride the storm out and keep my self control in tact until the summer was over and she went back to school. After around a month away from my girlfriend we eventually got back together and one day I left my facebook up and she saw where my intern friend had sent me pm's (nothing sexual) and written on my wall throughout the summer. Needless to say the jig was up and my girlfriend knew the full reason for our break. So the summer came to a close and me and the intern have gone our separate ways.. at first we tried to keep in touch but my girlfriend has become incredible suspicious of everything I do and goes through my email, phone, and facebook every time she has the opportunity she gets. If she found anything from my intern friend we would get into a huge fight and she would threaten to leave. I feel incredibly guilty about the whole thing although nothing physical ever happened I feel as though I cheated and she has a very valid reason to be so distrusting now. I have not returned any type of contact from my intgern friend in going on two months and I still think about her evry day. I have recently been struggling with my feelings for the both of them and want to reach out to my intern friend to again meet up over the holidays and spend time with her, but at the same time I am madly in love with my girlfriend and do not want to lose her. If it was not for my relationship I would be doing everything I could to be with my intern friend and I feel we could have a wonderful relationship. I'm not sure what advice if any I'm seeking, just really was hoping to get some thoughts on the whole situation, and as I stated at the beginning I feel extremely relieved just getting the whole ordeal off my chest.
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