Serv Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 The guy I am currently seeing have everything a girl wants. He have a very good education, loyal and treats me like gold. The thing is, I don't feel love toward him. I love the way he protects me when I need to and does all these sweet things for me (walking me home every time, pays for dates and such). Overall, he have the best personality a girl can ever request from a guy. I think I like him but I don't know if I will ever grow to love him. Should I let him go? Am I wrong dating him?
Under The Radar Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 How long have you two been dating? Have you slept together yet? Has he said "I love you" to you? More information would be helpful before dispensing advice.
Author Serv Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 How long have you two been dating? Have you slept together yet? Has he said "I love you" to you? More information would be helpful before dispensing advice. 2 months of dating, no sex yet.
Under The Radar Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 To be honest, I would recommend still seeing him. You state in your post that he is very romantic, respectful, and "treats you like gold". You admit to liking him, but not loving him. It's only been two months; many people take longer than 60 days to "fall in love" with someone. If you said you didn't like him, or he mistreated you in some way, I'd advise you to breakup. From the limited information you have given I think things are still progressing in a positive way and it's worth seeing where that goes. 2
Author Serv Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) To be honest, I would recommend still seeing him. You state in your post that he is very romantic, respectful, and "treats you like gold". You admit to liking him, but not loving him. It's only been two months; many people take longer than 60 days to "fall in love" with someone. If you said you didn't like him, or he mistreated you in some way, I'd advise you to breakup. From the limited information you have given I think things are still progressing in a positive way and it's worth seeing where that goes. I do want to see how things progress. But I don't have the desire to have sex with him and I'm afraid that it is because I don't find him "hot". Personally, I don't mind and would like to see how things are going, but I am afraid that he might get hurt really badly in the end. Edited December 3, 2012 by Serv
Under The Radar Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I do want to see how things progress. But I don't have the desire to have sex with him and I'm afraid that it is because I don't find him "hot". Personally, I don't mind and would like to see how things are going, but I am afraid that he might get hurt really badly in the end. How old are the two of you?
todreaminblue Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 The guy I am currently seeing have everything a girl wants. He have a very good education, loyal and treats me like gold. The thing is, I don't feel love toward him. I love the way he protects me when I need to and does all these sweet things for me (walking me home every time, pays for dates and such). Overall, he have the best personality a girl can ever request from a guy. I think I like him but I don't know if I will ever grow to love him. Should I let him go? Am I wrong dating him? some people take a while to develop love..two months isnt a long time...... when you have dated others what have you typically felt while dating them.......what made you stop dating them.......are you talking physical attraction? Actual love not attracted to or have strong feelings for takes much longer than two months......
Failboy Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 If he is indeed as great of a guy as you claim, he certainly deserves better than a girl who has no romantic or sexual feelings towards him. 5
grkBoy Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 The guy I am currently seeing have everything a girl wants. He have a very good education, loyal and treats me like gold. The thing is, I don't feel love toward him. I love the way he protects me when I need to and does all these sweet things for me (walking me home every time, pays for dates and such). Overall, he have the best personality a girl can ever request from a guy. I think I like him but I don't know if I will ever grow to love him. Should I let him go? Am I wrong dating him? I think if you're just not feeling it, then you're not feeling it. A man or woman can "look perfect on paper", but they won't elicit the chemistry many need to make it go all the way. My only advice is to do some soul searching. What about him do you not find appealing, and what out there do you find appealing. I'm not saying this is you, but I have noticed many men and women who turn away the "looks perfect on paper" mates tend to still hold attraction to people who only bring them misery...but they're drawn to the drama and uncertainty. This is every girl who turns away the handsome successful gentleman to chase the playa, jerk, or "bad boy" who perhaps doesn't have a solid job, lives on the edge, but she's drawn to the excitement of never knowing what tomorrow will bring...while Mr. "looks perfect on paper" only gives her feelings of boredom because she knows in her heart he'll never give her the drama/mystery/excitement she craves. This is the same with every guy who turns away a beautiful smart good woman to chase some flake or b!tch who makes his life miserable. I personally think man or woman, this is unhealthy. It means the person isn't craving a solid RL, but perhaps the fantasy of changing someone or simply the craving for this uncertainty/excitement while lying to themselves (and others) by constantly saying they just want a good man/woman they can settle down with. Like I said, I'm not saying this is you...but do some soul-searching to make sure it's not you. If this guy isn't turning you on, then that's fine to end it...but if you're also craving that drama/mystery/uncertainty/excitement, then you will have issues in the long term in seeking Mr. Right. 3
stillafool Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 The guy I am currently seeing have everything a girl wants. He have a very good education, loyal and treats me like gold. The thing is, I don't feel love toward him. I love the way he protects me when I need to and does all these sweet things for me (walking me home every time, pays for dates and such). Overall, he have the best personality a girl can ever request from a guy. I think I like him but I don't know if I will ever grow to love him. Should I let him go? Am I wrong dating him? Let him go if you don't love him. There are plenty of women out there who would cherish a man like him. Let them have him. 1
mammasita Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I'm on the fence with this one. I do agree that if you don't feel it now, its likely that you won't....because it is very true that we (women) know within minutes of meeting a man whether or not we will sleep with him. BUT I also feel like 2 months is not a very long time. __________ What is your history like? Have you ever felt that instant attraction to a man? I think you're in a good position because you haven't had sex with him. It would be easy to transition into a freindship only. But yeah, I'm gonna go with telling him now that you don't have romantic feelings but you would like to remain friends.
mesmerized Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 2 months and no sex might be the reason you're feeling this way. I think you should give this more time. Great guys are not easy to find! 3
carhill Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I do want to see how things progress. But I don't have the desire to have sex with him and I'm afraid that it is because I don't find him "hot". Personally, I don't mind and would like to see how things are going, but I am afraid that he might get hurt really badly in the end. Knowing your approximate age would be helpful. Further, what is your style of romantic relations? Do you fall in love immediately/have strong physical attraction immediately? Does such love/attraction develop and deepen over time? Etc, Etc. All are valid styles. It's important to understand and accept what your natural style is. If you find you can and do form healthy interpersonal relationships as a result of it, validate it and don't fight it. If other, examine why. Good luck and welcome to LS
yessy21 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 ROMA WASNT BUILT IN ONE DAY... it takes flowers a long time to bloom.
danny in van Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 hey don't feel bad that you don't feel attracted to him (tho some are trying to make u feel that way...) The catch is u feel maybe there won't be another who is attractive AND loves you...Well u do have to assess if you have the goods to attract what you desire ie if the type u like likes you...if not, then settling may be required . But if you see your type checking you out...then hold out for the whole package, cuz some people do get the whole package (more or less:)
FitChick Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I do agree that if you don't feel it now, its likely that you won't....because it is very true that we (women) know within minutes of meeting a man whether or not we will sleep with him. Not true for me. If anything, when I've been instantly attracted, it ended in disaster. When I dated and got to know someone I wasn't initially attracted to, we eventually got engaged because he was a wonderful man. Women who feel they don't deserve love pick the bad boys.
Drseussgrrl Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I don't think the fact that she's not attracted to him automatically means she digs on ass.holes. Cut her some slack.
newmoon Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 The guy I am currently seeing have everything a girl wants. He have a very good education, loyal and treats me like gold. The thing is, I don't feel love toward him. I love the way he protects me when I need to and does all these sweet things for me (walking me home every time, pays for dates and such). Overall, he have the best personality a girl can ever request from a guy. I think I like him but I don't know if I will ever grow to love him. Should I let him go? Am I wrong dating him? let him go. i am in the same situation but, unlike you, i do find the man very attractive and have been sleeping with him for about 9 months. it's not love, but it's what you described - a really great guy and a nice relationship, minus the deeper feelings. in my case, they might grow. in yours, probably not. you gotta find your man attractive for any long-term possiblity... move on :-)
Author Serv Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 some people take a while to develop love..two months isnt a long time...... when you have dated others what have you typically felt while dating them.......what made you stop dating them.......are you talking physical attraction? Actual love not attracted to or have strong feelings for takes much longer than two months...... He is my first. I don't know what I am looking for so I feel like I should give this great guy a chance, but now I don't know if I made the correct decision.
Author Serv Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 I AM NOT LOOKING FOR JERKS! I just haven't experienced falling in love and don't know if I will ever do so. If I let him go, will I ever find a great guy like him ever? FYI, I am a freshmen in college and he is a senior. We go to different colleges, but it is really close to each other.
aed Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Then do HIM a favour and break up and let him find his perfect girl!
Under The Radar Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 You mention that the two of you have not had sex yet. Another poster commented that feelings tend to become far stronger at an accelerated rate when intercourse has occured. Now, I'm not pushing you to have sex with him, but how do you see physical intimacy progressing in the future? Are you really attracted to him or is it more of a "meh" type of feeling. If it is the latter I would seriously consider ending it with him. At 2 months (in an exclusive relationship) you should have a firm grasp of where you stand on attraction for your partner. The key here is to be honest and kind (both to yourself and him). Don't string him along if after some hard reflection/consideration you realize he's great in every way, but there is no chemistry.
Author Serv Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 You mention that the two of you have not had sex yet. Another poster commented that feelings tend to become far stronger at an accelerated rate when intercourse has occured. Now, I'm not pushing you to have sex with him, but how do you see physical intimacy progressing in the future? Are you really attracted to him or is it more of a "meh" type of feeling. If it is the latter I would seriously consider ending it with him. At 2 months (in an exclusive relationship) you should have a firm grasp of where you stand on attraction for your partner. The key here is to be honest and kind (both to yourself and him). Don't string him along if after some hard reflection/consideration you realize he's great in every way, but there is no chemistry. We have really awesome conversations and are comfortable with each other. When I am with him, I felt very blissful to have such a great guy. He will always say sweet things, doesn't make me do anything I don't feel comfortable doing, and is willing to do most of the things I asked him to (if not all). But whenever I get home, I will wonder and think back to the time we spent together and just felt weird and question my feelings sometimes.
Under The Radar Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 We have really awesome conversations and are comfortable with each other. When I am with him, I felt very blissful to have such a great guy. He will always say sweet things, doesn't make me do anything I don't feel comfortable doing, and is willing to do most of the things I asked him to (if not all). But whenever I get home, I will wonder and think back to the time we spent together and just felt weird and question my feelings sometimes. Question: How many LTR have you had before him? How long did they last?
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