ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 So I have this guy I met on POF a long time ago, like a year and we have been in contact. He is in the Marines and was in NC at the time I met him, but he is from about a half hour from where I live. Anyways, he left about a month and a half ago for Peru, that is where he is stationed now, we have kept in contact a little but not a lot. Now I will say in all the time I talked to him we never talked sex or about any of my future plans as far as how much I wanted babies and marriage, and we NEVER EVER exchanged sexy pictures! So he messages me the night before last at like 12 in the morning and he is like "I'm really drunk, I just want to be with you, let's have a baby as soon as I come back, I'll take care of both of you, I want a family" I was super shocked because idk it was so random so I was like "whatever, you're drunk" and he got mad and he was like "I know exactly what I'm saying". So we kind of talked about it as if like what if it did happen and stuff. So I fell asleep I was like pshhht whatever (even though he was so cute and sweet with the stuff he said), the next day I messaged him and asked him he was ok because I wasn't sure if he was SUPER wasted or tipsy and he said he was fine, and then I asked him if he was serious about what he said and he was like "I could see myself having a family with you" AWWWW that's so cute and sweet! The thing is why is he saying this? We barely talk? Am I supposed to take him seriously? If anything happened between us it wouldn't be until he was back here and that is in 2 years. I just think it was such an odd thing, I think I just going to pretend it never happened because I doubt in 2 years he is going to be like "OMG let's have that baby that we talked about 2 years ago" and who is to say I want to wait on someone for 2 years, with no guarantees. I guess if I am still single at that point then I might consider a situation with him if we are still in contact. The most weirdest things happen to me! Nothing just just be simple and work out nicely.
ja123 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 You must feel wonderful that a man said that to you. How well do you know one another though? Have you ever met in person?
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 You must feel wonderful that a man said that to you. How well do you know one another though? Have you ever met in person? We haven't met in person, so it is odd, we want to and were going to when he came home before he left for Peru but he got caught up with his family. We have skyped a few times though.
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Faith in mankind.... dwindling. ImperfectionisBeauty, you used your head in TigressA post, about the whole true love thing and rushing in too fast...but really, how in the world are you this naive and gullible to your own situations when they are as clear and simple as day? No! he's not serious...he's an idiot, he had a flash of a dream, pumping your vagina and he took it about 3 steps farther than he should have being over zealous and horny. You've never even met the guy, he doesn't even talk to you on a consistent basis, and yet you are asking this question? how? why? what? Then the last guy was some guy who was homeless and you wanted him to stay with you and your family?....really? I'm convinced you are a secret spy put on LS by someone who hates me to drive me insane. 8
Failboy Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Is he really hot or something along those lines? I'm just curious as to why you would even consider this genuine. Makes me wonder if those How I Met Your Mother Episodes featuring Barney lying his butt off while hot women believe it aren't too exaggerated after all. Sometimes I say nice stuff I actually mean and women call me out for sugartalking them. This guy gets away with absurd stuff like marriage and kids despite the current state of affairs being that you have never even met and you kinda believe it. Crazy.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Faith in mankind.... dwindling. ImperfectionisBeauty, you used your head in TigressA post, about the whole true love thing and rushing in too fast...but really, how in the world are you this naive and gullible to your own situations when they are as clear and simple as day? No! he's not serious...he's an idiot, he had a flash of a dream, pumping your vagina and he took it about 3 steps farther than he should have being over zealous and horny. You've never even met the guy, he doesn't even talk to you on a consistent basis, and yet you are asking this question? how? why? what? Then the last guy was some guy who was homeless and you wanted him to stay with you and your family?....really? I'm convinced you are a secret spy put on LS by someone who hates me to drive me insane. I never once suggested that guy come to my house ever and my situation is totally different than hers I have been talking to him wayyyyyyyy longer and I'm not claiming to love him. If anything I might consider dating him if I'm single when he comes back
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Is he really hot or something along those lines? I'm just curious as to why you would even consider this genuine. Makes me wonder if those How I Met Your Mother Episodes featuring Barney lying his butt off while hot women believe it aren't too exaggerated after all. Sometimes I say nice stuff I actually mean and women call me out for sugartalking them. This guy gets away with absurd stuff like marriage and kids despite the current state of affairs being that you have never even met and you kinda believe it. Crazy. Lol it's wishful thinking
SmileFace Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Faith in mankind.... dwindling. ImperfectionisBeauty, you used your head in TigressA post, about the whole true love thing and rushing in too fast...but really, how in the world are you this naive and gullible to your own situations when they are as clear and simple as day? No! he's not serious...he's an idiot, he had a flash of a dream, pumping your vagina and he took it about 3 steps farther than he should have being over zealous and horny. You've never even met the guy, he doesn't even talk to you on a consistent basis, and yet you are asking this question? how? why? what? Then the last guy was some guy who was homeless and you wanted him to stay with you and your family?....really? I'm convinced you are a secret spy put on LS by someone who hates me to drive me insane. Quoted for the truth. Like seriously?
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Quoted for the truth. Like seriously? If you're referring to the comparison of situations my situation is not even close to TA I have know him for a while even if it is through text and Skype its not 10 days and its not sexual at all. I never said anything would come of he and I, I just think maybe if I'm still in this ****hole state 2 years from now with no boyfriend then who knows maybe we can be together, at least I know what he wants and he won't just string me along for years of dating.
movingon12 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Given that he's nowhere near you, there's no chance that this could be considered a pick up attempt (unless he's laying the ground work 2 years early - which is excessive even by Barney standards). I would put it down to a Marine having a bad day and wanting to imagine a happy future with a wife and baby and white picket fence and all that. But then again Peru is hardly a war zone... Strange - I doubt he was lying, I'm sure he meant what he said at the moment he said it, but I doubt anything will ever come of it. 2
Bridgey Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 No he was not being serious, and if he was it should be raising some major red flags. No man in his right mind would want to start a family with a girl he's never met before, especially one he's only been in light contact with. Don't take this guy seriously, he is definitely not mature enough to deserve your attention.
Drseussgrrl Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Guys in the military who are stationed far away from friends and family tend to get very lonely. This is why the divorce rate for Marines is so astronomical. They're so desperate to have some sort of connection that they get married way too young and for all the wrong reasons. I read in another one of your threads that being married to a Marine is "like, your dream." I just have to ask why. This isn't a jab at military members, but having served myself I saw these situations all the time.
BetheButterfly Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 So I have this guy I met on POF a long time ago, like a year and we have been in contact. He is in the Marines and was in NC at the time I met him, but he is from about a half hour from where I live. Anyways, he left about a month and a half ago for Peru, that is where he is stationed now, we have kept in contact a little but not a lot. Now I will say in all the time I talked to him we never talked sex or about any of my future plans as far as how much I wanted babies and marriage, and we NEVER EVER exchanged sexy pictures! So he messages me the night before last at like 12 in the morning and he is like "I'm really drunk, I just want to be with you, let's have a baby as soon as I come back, I'll take care of both of you, I want a family" I was super shocked because idk it was so random so I was like "whatever, you're drunk" and he got mad and he was like "I know exactly what I'm saying". So we kind of talked about it as if like what if it did happen and stuff. So I fell asleep I was like pshhht whatever (even though he was so cute and sweet with the stuff he said), the next day I messaged him and asked him he was ok because I wasn't sure if he was SUPER wasted or tipsy and he said he was fine, and then I asked him if he was serious about what he said and he was like "I could see myself having a family with you" AWWWW that's so cute and sweet! The thing is why is he saying this? We barely talk? Am I supposed to take him seriously? If anything happened between us it wouldn't be until he was back here and that is in 2 years. I just think it was such an odd thing, I think I just going to pretend it never happened because I doubt in 2 years he is going to be like "OMG let's have that baby that we talked about 2 years ago" and who is to say I want to wait on someone for 2 years, with no guarantees. I guess if I am still single at that point then I might consider a situation with him if we are still in contact. The most weirdest things happen to me! Nothing just just be simple and work out nicely. Some people are more honest or blunt when drunk. Others still say what they think others want to hear. Personally, I think it'd be good to keep your mind reserved about him until you meet him, his family, his friends, and decide if you would even want him to be the father of your babies. Also, it'd be a good idea not to jump into bed too soon with him... he sounds to me like he knows what you want to hear... Wait till you know he truly loves you. He needs to prove that he loves you. So far, he hasn't done that, in my opinion. Sadly, so many girls end up having sex and then babies with guys who they thought loved them, but really, they didn't care at all; they just wanted the sex. 2
iris219 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Anytime anyone prefaces a statement with "I'm really drunk," it's not a good sign.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Guys in the military who are stationed far away from friends and family tend to get very lonely. This is why the divorce rate for Marines is so astronomical. They're so desperate to have some sort of connection that they get married way too young and for all the wrong reasons. I read in another one of your threads that being married to a Marine is "like, your dream." I just have to ask why. This isn't a jab at military members, but having served myself I saw these situations all the time. I don't know I just like the idea of being a military spouse, it is so much honor in the fact that your spouse has done something so big and important but at the same time you're just as important because you hold down the fort. I dated a few military guys when I was younger and most were cool, there were 2 and after him I decided it might not be worth it, one who was a Marine vet and he drank everyday, like from 12 in the afternoon to late at night he would be drinking and he would get black out drunk. When he drank he got really mad like he would break stuff and fight people and it was just too much, then the other guy he was just really mean to me, we were friends and we thought it would go further but he was just mean. He would call me a slut and whore but not in a funny way, and just he was mean. I don't know why it is my dream it would just be cool, I would hate having to worry all the time though that would be tough. As much as it would be awesome, it isn't necessarily my dream at this point, I would just like to meet ANYONE at this point who wants to be with me and have a family lol.
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 As long as you even need to ask such questions here, I seriously believe you are not mature enough to even go on one - on -one dates. I'm pretty sure you've shared in the past about sex-Skyping with this guy. Why are you now telling us that it's "not sexual at all"? Anyway, this person is a complete stranger who does not know you AT ALL, and vice versa. 1
naviis Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Even if he did mean it (or think he meant it) at the time, the fact that 1) he was drunk 2) you have never actually met 3) you won't be seeing him for at least 2 years is enough for you not to take it seriously. Best case scenario, he's a hopeless romantic, and in 2 years you'll be running towards each other in a field. Worst case scenario, he's a d-bag and says those things to different girls in different cities so he always has someone to bang. 1
BetheButterfly Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I don't know I just like the idea of being a military spouse, it is so much honor in the fact that your spouse has done something so big and important but at the same time you're just as important because you hold down the fort. My cousin married a Marine. She and him are madly in love and have been married for about 2 years now I think. She is very proud of her husband and before they got married, prayed without stop for him when he was stationed in Afghanistan. I'm not sure what he's doing exactly now, but he is stationed in the USA and she lives with him on the base. They are a really cute couple. I'm a pacifist but I respect her and her husband and make sure not to get into talks with them that they would consider as "disrespectful" and "unpatriotic" concerning my aversion to invading other countries... I dated a few military guys when I was younger and most were cool, there were 2 and after him I decided it might not be worth it, one who was a Marine vet and he drank everyday, like from 12 in the afternoon to late at night he would be drinking and he would get black out drunk. When he drank he got really mad like he would break stuff and fight people and it was just too much, then the other guy he was just really mean to me, we were friends and we thought it would go further but he was just mean. He would call me a slut and whore but not in a funny way, and just he was mean. I don't know why it is my dream it would just be cool, I would hate having to worry all the time though that would be tough. Many alcoholics are very difficult because they tend to yeah get mad and be mean when drunk. This was the experience of my great grandmother. She eventually divorced him after he kept on beating her up and spending all their money on alcohol, and my great grandfather died a bitter and sad man, with the only people visiting him being his eldest son (my Papaw) and his family. I very much hope the Marine with the alcohol addiction will give up that harmful addiction and experience a wonderful life. As much as it would be awesome, it isn't necessarily my dream at this point, I would just like to meet ANYONE at this point who wants to be with me and have a family lol.Cool It's definitely possible!!! However, it's good to have standards and to make sure to marry someone who truly loves you and isn't just wanting to use you for something. Sadly, so many people get married and then regret it later, because of the pain they endure in marriage. I very much hope that you marry a man who doesn't hurt you and who you don't hurt, but rather that ya'll experience loving each other and having a very happy and healthy marriage and family!!! 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 As long as you even need to ask such questions here, I seriously believe you are not mature enough to even go on one - on -one dates. I'm pretty sure you've shared in the past about sex-Skyping with this guy. Why are you now telling us that it's "not sexual at all"? Anyway, this person is a complete stranger who does not know you AT ALL, and vice versa. You are thinking of my friend who is in the marines who I went to HS with, this guy I don't know except from POF in the time we have texted and talked on skype.. Nothing sexual has happened between either of us.
SmileFace Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 If you're referring to the comparison of situations my situation is not even close to TA I have know him for a while even if it is through text and Skype its not 10 days and its not sexual at all. I never said anything would come of he and I, I just think maybe if I'm still in this ****hole state 2 years from now with no boyfriend then who knows maybe we can be together, at least I know what he wants and he won't just string me along for years of dating. I don't see any difference. Plus I am pretty sure she met him before saying love. You are entertaining the idea of him wanting to get you pregnant before even meeting him. I actually think this may be worse. However wanted a married man may be worse actually. Shrugs. 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 I don't see any difference. Plus I am pretty sure she met him before saying love. You are entertaining the idea of him wanting to get you pregnant before even meeting him. I actually think this may be worse. However wanted a married man may be worse actually. Shrugs. I see a lot of differences, I have known him way longer than barely a week. Anyways its my topic and my life so I don't care about comparing anything to anyone else. I do what I want.
Drseussgrrl Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Honey I'm sorry but you seem to be a magnet for ass.holes. 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Honey I'm sorry but you seem to be a magnet for ass.holes. I know, it kind of worries me because I don't want to accidentally marry a douchebag guy and have kids with him because that will make my life suck and my kids lives suck.. I know it'll get better. I just overlook peoples red flags because everyone can change
SmileFace Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Ok. What would it matter if he was serious anyway? You never met him. Why would you even care if he was serious. You even knew he was drunk. Are you going to ask him if he is serious? Do you plan to try and start a relationship during his two years aboard? Has he shown any interest in getting to know you or seeing you during those two years?
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