GeBa Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) So today I want to stop loving my girlfriend. I don't want to be with her anymore, but it's hard for me to move on. I don't have closure, and I feel like I need some sort of revenge or the last laugh so to speak. I think that is the only thing that will make me feel better--hatred toward her. I know I shouldn't be bitter but I can't help it. Also she's very good at making it seem like she doesn't care anymore just like that. It was all because I rejected her friendship, she lost total respect and has been so cold. Her behavior the past 2 weeks have been so unlike her. I don't know if this is her way of coping, but she's starting to do things with people she's not all that close and would normally not do all of a sudden (these are things she never even did with me). After about a 10 month relationship, its hard to believe this is her true colors, because I would have had some idea, or found out earlier. She couldn't possibly keep it a secret for that long. Also, I know FOR A FACT she NEVER hangs out with friends, then suddenly after the break up, she's doing all these rebellious things. I don't know if she's trying to make me mad on purpose so I just forget her, or if she's trying to cope. It's working. I appreciate that. It's a huge blow to my EGO even though I am very confident with myself and have a lot of other things going for me. It just feels so ****ing degrading for her to think she can just do this to me and feel like she's the right one. It's a lose-lose situation for me: If ignore her, than I gave her what she wanted. If I keep coming back to her, then she feels like I'm a freaking pussy, and the thought of her thinking of me like that PISSES ME OFF! I'm very mad because she played me, she has the last laugh (for now), and she feels like she has me by the balls. Well, I'm not going to be a victim. I will not allow her to be successful. And I will make it ugly. Any advice? Edited December 3, 2012 by GeBa
dyzfunctioned Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 You want to move on, yet you want to have the last laugh and screw around with her? Make up your mind man. If you want to move on, forgive and forget. Worry about yourself, not her.
Author GeBa Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 You want to move on, yet you want to have the last laugh and screw around with her? Make up your mind man. If you want to move on, forgive and forget. Worry about yourself, not her. I know its really dumb, but I feel like I can't move on until I get my revenge. Very childish but I feel like it is truly the ONLY thing that would make me feel so much better.
threebyfate Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Can't decipher this. You rejected her friendship and she found other people to be friends with. Now you want revenge? This does not compute so maybe you can explain the need to control her actions.
Author GeBa Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Can't decipher this. You rejected her friendship and she found other people to be friends with. Now you want revenge? This does not compute so maybe you can explain the need to control her actions. Yeah because I'm not going to be the person she can just run and cry to when some other guy rejects her or shes having personal problems. I will not allow myself to be used. I don't know maybe I'm just being really resentful and mad that she just gave up like that, and doesn't have the guts to tell me why she even did it. She's gave me some reasons which I believe to be excuses, because from reading these threads, I found that all breakups are not much different. Same excuses are used, and there really isn't a good one. I may not be the first to take this method of action after a break up. But I simply will not let myself be emotionally beaten up. It's almost like allowing someone to beat you up, and you didn't even try to DEFEND yourself or try to fight back. Instead you took it and just ran away. Thats the way I see it.
threebyfate Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Yeah because I'm not going to be the person she can just run and cry to when some other guy rejects her or shes having personal problems. I will not allow myself to be used. I don't know maybe I'm just being really resentful and mad that she just gave up like that, and doesn't have the guts to tell me why she even did it. She's gave me some reasons which I believe to be excuses, because from reading these threads, I found that all breakups are not much different. Same excuses are used, and there really isn't a good one. I may not be the first to take this method of action after a break up. But I simply will not let myself be emotionally beaten up. It's almost like allowing someone to beat you up, and you didn't even try to DEFEND yourself or try to fight back. Instead you took it and just ran away. Thats the way I see it.This still makes no sense to me. What did she do? Explain how befriending others, emotionally beats you up. I'm not in your head.
Author GeBa Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) This still makes no sense to me. What did she do? Explain how befriending others, emotionally beats you up. I'm not in your head. You don't understand. I don't have a problem with her having or making friends. But she is NOT this person and its making me mad. I am like 99% confident, she's very sheltered, strict parents, and she would not even ever sneak out with me. Last night she was missing, didn't come home until 1 AM, she was out with her "friends" some guys some girls. My ex and I were really close, and she would not even do something like this for me. This morning I get a text after 1 week of NC except for school business (twice a week), saying "hey". Then what do I get like right after? Her sister accusing me of me taking her somewhere, when I was out with my friends minding my own business. It's very sketchy. I went to her work to ask what's going on because her sister was accusing me. And she said nothing, I snuck out with friends. She hasn't done something like this since she was like 15, she's 20 now. So it makes me think she's rebelling, trying to make me mad by playing mind games. I don't know if she's losing it or something. So I ask her why did you text me "hey" this morning and she told me that she didn't do it and it was probably her sister. But then I asked her sister before I went to my ex's work to see if she was the one who texted me with my ex's number, and she denied it. So wth is this? Are they like trying to mess with me. I told her "so you just sneak out now, and hook up with guys" and she denied it. I would think if she was really mad at me by now, she would just freakin admit it or lie about it at least to drive me away for good. But no! She keeps saying "Its not like that." and she's been denying that she is seeing other guys, to the point where I am now convinced she's telling the truth. Now I'm mad because I don't know why she's playing games with me. Here's the sum-up/timeline. -Breakup -I tried to beg her to come back. -She suggests to just be her best friend after breakup -I reject. -She cries. -She acts all bitter and cold, and literally she's trying to ignore me and avoid me. -Then she acts playful with me during my college lab course. We are forced with interaction. -And then I get a text from her this morning which I ignore that she eventually denies sending. -Following that text, her sister texts me. -I go to her work to settle this, and she acts like a bitch. WTF? All in all i think this comes out to me rejecting her as a friend and she's trying to make me mad too. And she won the battle today, because like a fool, i'm sure i expressed being affected by her behavior. I'm sorry if this is so immature, I'm just very frustrated and I need to vent!! Edited December 3, 2012 by GeBa
threebyfate Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 The easiest way to get out, is to refuse to play. NC is to move on. Don't respond to anything. But yes, writing it all down and then rereading how silly the games between your ex and her sister, should help make you realize that it's so not worth participating. It should also help illustrate how she's not the one for you.
LostOne1 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 The easiest way to get out, is to refuse to play. NC is to move on. Don't respond to anything. But yes, writing it all down and then rereading how silly the games between your ex and her sister, should help make you realize that it's so not worth participating. It should also help illustrate how she's not the one for you. exactly...! GO NC and DON'T BREAK it as it's been said.
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