ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Ok this is part venting and part pointing out my stupidity. I am 2 months post BU of a 9 year relationship. For the most part I have been doing fine. The mornings still suck but throughout the day and the night Im mostly fine. Anyhow, I was cleaning out my room today and I found a scrapbook that she gave me a few years back. I thought I had cleared everything out when we broke up but I guess I had missed this. When I found the scrapbook instead of doing the smart thing by burning it I decided to look through it and go down memory lane. What a dumb A** move. Well, I sure paid for that mistake. Now I'm hating life when prior to picking up that book I was fine. So here's the lesson. If you run into something your Ex gave you...do yourself a favor and burn it or get rid of it otherwise you pay the price. Damn I wish I had just tossed that book out.
cavalier99 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Oh man that hurts. Did it really mess you up? Im also 2 months out and am doing pretty well. I have 8 years of pics on my computer and didnt sort them out early on after the BU. Now i cant look at any of my pictures or videos of anything. I guess ill just need to wait months before tackling this project. Thanks for your post otherwise i might have attempted this.
sharsh Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I knew this would happen to me.. I cleaned out my facebook, phone, and my harddrive almost immediately after the BU. Every now and again I'll stumble across something I missed... stare at it for a few seconds and relive all of the hurt, then delete it.
na49 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I haven't deleted pictures on my facebook, but I don't ever look at them. She uploaded all of the pictures of us and because she blocked me I can't see them even though it says that I am tagged them. I got rid of everything so that I wouldn't accidentally find it later. I'd hate to have that happen.
cavalier99 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) How bad would it be to go through and delete or move those pictures AND videos? Oh im dreading this. it is like a festering wound that i dont want to look at. Do i take the plunge or wait like a year? I mean it is 8 years of stuff ahhhhhh Edited December 3, 2012 by cavalier99
na49 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I would go for it. You'll feel much better after you do. I remembered last week that I hadn't deleted my ex on AIM. I never use AIM but I remembered that I had her on there and I didn't want to log on one day and see her screenname/updates/new picture of her and whoever. I really quickly deleted her and didn't look at anything. I guess deleting pictures would be different, but depending on how much you've moved on since the BU I'd get it out of the way.
Author ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 yeah..it was pretty bad. The sad thing is that I was trying to prevent all this when we broke up. I went as far as having a friend change my pw on facebook (later I had that same person delete my account) so I don't have the urge to facebook stalk her. I got all her things and put it into a box and gave it to one of my friends to keep thereby eliminating the temptation to reflect back. As for all the pictures and digital stuff I backed them all in a portable hard drive and also gave that to my friend. I really cleaned house on her. Then this crap happens. Man...I tell ya....1.5 months of NC/LC and I was doing SO much better! I was even thinking in another few months (6 on the outside) I'd be over it. Damn...this just set me back. Hopefully this setback only last today.
cavalier99 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Just thinking about this is making me sick. It would be like reliving everything since 2004. I going to leave this sleeping dog alone i think. Im not ready. Any other advise? Cant decide dont trust myself. Suffer now or suffer later. Id feel like i was breaking NC.
Author ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 How bad would it be to go through and delete or move those pictures AND videos? Oh im dreading this. it is like a festering wound that i dont want to look at. Do i take the plunge or wait like a year? I mean it is 8 years of stuff ahhhhhh If I were you I would have a friend do it. I personally wouldn't do it myself. When all this happened to me I cleaned out my laptop and backed up all the pictures, emails and conversations that we had. Let me tell it SUCKS!!!! In hindsight I should have had one of my friends do it for me. If you don't have that option then I would get it over now rather than later. The problem with later is that 1, the temptation would always be there for you to look at and 2, you may end up accidently seeing something later down the line and setting yourself back to square one. I'm in the same boat as you. I had almost 9 years worth of memories. Either way...its going to suck. My advice is to get it over now rather than later. Good Luck. 2
cavalier99 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 yeah..it was pretty bad. The sad thing is that I was trying to prevent all this when we broke up. I went as far as having a friend change my pw on facebook (later I had that same person delete my account) so I don't have the urge to facebook stalk her. I got all her things and put it into a box and gave it to one of my friends to keep thereby eliminating the temptation to reflect back. As for all the pictures and digital stuff I backed them all in a portable hard drive and also gave that to my friend. I really cleaned house on her. Then this crap happens. Man...I tell ya....1.5 months of NC/LC and I was doing SO much better! I was even thinking in another few months (6 on the outside) I'd be over it. Damn...this just set me back. Hopefully this setback only last today. All this stuff is just cracking me up. Im laughing at myself. We are like a bunch of emotional cripples. Im so glad you guys are here. There is no way i could even expect anyone else to understand. Im not going to worry about this. This breakup stuff is sort of funny when you really think about it.. We need to post about the simplest things. Received text she said "hi" what should i do ecetera I cant wait until i can just laugh at all this process 3
cavalier99 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) If I were you I would have a friend do it. I personally wouldn't do it myself. When all this happened to me I cleaned out my laptop and backed up all the pictures, emails and conversations that we had. Let me tell it SUCKS!!!! In hindsight I should have had one of my friends do it for me. If you don't have that option then I would get it over now rather than later. The problem with later is that 1, the temptation would always be there for you to look at and 2, you may end up accidently seeing something later down the line and setting yourself back to square one. I'm in the same boat as you. I had almost 9 years worth of memories. Either way...its going to suck. My advice is to get it over now rather than later. Good Luck. Man im not worried about being tempted. Im to f-k scared lol. Everyone says it is like going back to day 1 if we see pics etcetera. Im not sure. I think you will be fine itxwillxgetxbetter. This will only be a small setback. I think to go back to day 1 id need to hangout with her and have sex then have it not work out. We are getting stronger and it will accelerate. Im going to be over this in a few more months at the rate im going. Hooked up with girl form bar last night and it was fun. Didnt think of ex at all. Edited December 3, 2012 by cavalier99
LostOne1 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 All this stuff is just cracking me up. Im laughing at myself. We are like a bunch of emotional cripples. Im so glad you guys are here. There is no way i could even expect anyone else to understand. Im not going to worry about this. This breakup stuff is sort of funny when you really think about it.. We need to post about the simplest things. Received text she said "hi" what should i do ecetera I cant wait until i can just laugh at all this process oh you'll laugh allright!! give it like 1-2 years and if you re-read this and remember all of this it will be laughs. It's like thinking back as being a kid and all the good memories and bad ones too. But you laugh and smile seeing you have grown and now you are somewhere else. That's life I guess... the past gets less and less painful. 1
movingon12 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 How bad would it be to go through and delete or move those pictures AND videos? Oh im dreading this. it is like a festering wound that i dont want to look at. Do i take the plunge or wait like a year? I mean it is 8 years of stuff ahhhhhh Wait. If it seems painful now, just wait. My ex and I had stuff stored at my parents house after we moved. Photos, love letters, household stuff, the lot. I didn't go anywhere near it until about 3 years after the BU. By that time I could completely detach myself from it - chuck out the stuff I didn't want and keep the things I did. I had expected to be an emotional mess, but I was absolutely fine. Just wait until you're ready - you'll know when you are. 1
NeverPlayaPlayer Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 i am lucky that my wonderful ex girlfriend, of only 7 months, never bought or a gave me a thing, took plenty of course, hence why I kicked her out.....if only i could look back and find genuine tokens of love from her but alas she was the only one in this relationship that can look back and see gifts and love that I gave her....
Author ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 All this stuff is just cracking me up. Im laughing at myself. We are like a bunch of emotional cripples. Im so glad you guys are here. There is no way i could even expect anyone else to understand. Im not going to worry about this. This breakup stuff is sort of funny when you really think about it.. We need to post about the simplest things. Received text she said "hi" what should i do ecetera I cant wait until i can just laugh at all this process I know right? I get scared of the dumbest things. When she texts i'm like oh F*** what does this mean? How should I react? Should I ignore or answer. At some point hopefully sooner rather than later i'm going to realize this is so stupid and funny at the same time. I'm not quite there yet but soon! hahahaha.
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