Furious Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 (edited) My son is 8 and my daughter is 5. They are used to seeing both mom and dad every single day! My husband was the best dad ever snd now well he has seen hos kids maybe 7 hrs in the past 2 wks. We live with my mom which her and i do not get along never had and my son hates it here. My parents are so hard on my kids which is something they are not use to. They had this free life where they lived on a 50 acre farm and could run wild. My son is taking it real hard. The OW used to work at his school and she was his teachers aide in 1st grade. He knows what is going on, my daughter not so much. My son has really been the person who has been there the most for me!! I love kids so much but it is hard being the single mom knowing he use to have this life and now he is out partying snd hanging out with our friends with his new found love!! He has not responsibilties righg now and it is not fair! It's heartbreaking that your kids lives have been uprooted and that their dad is neglecting them. For their sake, the sooner you get your finances in order and are able to get your own place the better it will be for them. I really urge to get counseling for yourself and especially for your son, this can be a tremendous help in easing the stress you and your family are under. Keep strong and be there for your children. Edited December 4, 2012 by Furious Correction 1
seren Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 See a solicitor, get your ducks in a row about finances, selling the half finished house or he buying you out. Get yourself in control over what happens next and don't leave it drag on. if nothing else it will give WS a dose of reality and what the consequences of his actions are. I would speak to his parents and tell them how hurt you are, for your children's sake they will have contact with their grandparents. The children should not be privy to all that is going on re the A, just that you are no longer together and that it will all work out fine. Stay off her and his FB page. Take care it sounds like you are hurting, the anger will come soon enough, start the 180 today. 1
Oberfeldwebel Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I think the best medicine here is a large dose of reality. You need to get to a lawyer, get financial support and get into a situation with you and the kids. Additionally, he needs to become a father again, including visitation and responsibility for his children on a scheduled basis. You need to talk to him in very business like terms and learn that you and your children will survive and eventually thrive with or without him. I know you want your old life back, unfortunately it is gone. You may be able to create a new relationship, if he gets out of this fog he is in now. Work on doing positive things for you and the children, this will be helpful regardless what he does (exercise, work, church, hobbies, etc). Christmas is a tough time to go through this situation, but I think you need to get the upper-hand on this. I wish the best for you and your family. 2
Author Rach27 Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 I am still not sure of why the real reason is he has not filed yet is if he wanted out of this marriage so badly?? I am going to file first because i honestly cant take it anymore. The fact the we both have always been here for our kids and now it is as if i am a single parent doing everything by myself. I help with my sons homework, give the bubble baths, my mom and i take turns doing supper, kiss them when they are hurt and tuck them in at night. I do all of this everyday like i always have but now by myself while he is out partying, skipping work, staying out all night sleeping with he OW without a worry in the world. That is starting to get old to me and i am starting to be mad at him instead of wanting him back. In my eyes he is starting to become this loser i wish i had never met!! He hurt me so bad and continues to everyday. I wish he would get out of this fog he is in if only for the kids sake!! They need their dad. I grew up like this when i was young, I know the awful life my kids are having to live and I hate this for them so so bad. 4
frozensprouts Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I know it's hard, but stop worrying about him and what he is doing, and place all your mental efforts into making thins better for you and your children. If he continues on this path, one day he'll wake up and realize just what he's thrown away, but it will be too late. Look after yourself and your kids and never mind him...he's a "big boy' and can look after himself
scatterd Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 I am so sorry you are hurting. I know how bad this hurts you. Talk to an attorney to find out your options. Your husband is doing you and your children wrong. You deserve so much better then that. You need to think about your self and also your children. I wonder if you have considered seeing a counselor. This may help you to come to terms with this. Cheating takes a toll on your confidence and trust. Know that you husband has a problem and it has nothing to do with who you are, how you look and so on. Many men have problems in marriages and do not cheat. Take time for yourself and children. Do things with them anything to keep your mind busy. Their will be a time he wakes up and he may try to come back hopefully you will be strong enough to know what you want or what you are willing to except. Do not allow him to take anymore from you and your children. In time you will heal remember when one door shuts another one opens. You will be happy again. I wish the best for you and the children. Big Hugs
turnera Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Are you in the US? We have lots of agencies that can help you get housing and other help.
2sunny Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 If I were you I'd file with the court IMMEDIATELY - so you can get support money from him! Then I'd get a job so I could try getting back into the house and have it as your own. Or have him pay you money to buy out your half of the house so that you can buy a new one - a place to call home. Either way - you need his money ordered by the court and paid to you directly from his employer(school). This way - you can begin to be on your own without the affects of living with parents you don't agree with. Best wishes, hurry!
Recommended Posts