sghffdmc Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 To preface, some people love the thrill of the chase. I hate it. Lol anyways, here's the situation... I asked this girl to go with me on my fraternity's date function this weekend. We didn't know each other that well yet, but I thought she was very pretty and seemed cool from the brief interaction we had with each other and I got the vibe that she had some interest in me as well. She said yes and we had a great time up until the very end of the night. We ended up leaving the function with a group of friends and heading to the local bars. While at the bar, I immediately noticed something was a little weird because she ran into this kid and you know how you can just tell when there's something going on between two people? Well, that was the case. Anyways, we left that bar and that kid and went to another bar. It was then she asked my friend's girlfriend to go to the bathroom with her. My friend's girlfriend would return, but my date wouldn't. My friend's girlfriend told me she had said to tell me she'd be back in 10 minutes. She never came back. Needless to say, I was pretty upset just by the fact that I felt purely disrespected. I was also confused because I thought everything was going great. Well, then my friend's girlfriend pulled me aside and told me what went down in the bathroom. She said that my date was like, "Ok, what's the deal with so-and-so (me)? What's he all about?" And my friend's girlfriend was like he's an amazing guy, he knows how to treat a girl right, he's caring and he doesn't have any bad intentions with you tonight. He simply is attracted to you and wanted to get to know you. My date answered by saying that she was also attracted to me, that I was very sweet and she was having fun, but there was a guy there at the bar (that kid I was talking about) who she had been "hooking up" with for about a month now but it wasn't anything more than that - they weren't dating or in a relationship and she didn't know what to do. Well, once she told me that I went looking in the other bar to see if she was with him, but she was no where to be found. On the good side of things, he was also still there, so I know for a fact she didn't leave with him. She texted me the next day apologizing several times and saying that she had a really good time with me. Her excuse was her phone had died after she left my friend's girlfriend and that she was really drunk and left with her roommates. I played dumb and told her not to worry about it and that I had a good time too. Now, I don't know where to go from here. I've gotten several different opinions. My gay friend told me I should ask her to lunch and see where it goes from there. However, a couple of my girl friends, including the one that spoke to her in the bathroom, says I should leave it be and make her come to me. Their reasoning was that I need to be in control and not let her walk all over me and she needs to decide what she wants to do on her own. My gay friend is giving her the benefit of the doubt by saying that he thinks she was just in an uncomfortable situation and wanted to remove herself from it, which I can see, but then again I always see the good in people and can be blinded from the bad. I'm also still not happy with the fact that she left without telling me. So what should I do? I'm having a party this weekend that she knows about. My girl friends told me to not text her unless she texts me first and see if she shows up to that. My gay friend says to take her to lunch. What do you think?
Easyguy14 Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 To preface, some people love the thrill of the chase. I hate it. Lol anyways, here's the situation... I asked this girl to go with me on my fraternity's date function this weekend. We didn't know each other that well yet, but I thought she was very pretty and seemed cool from the brief interaction we had with each other and I got the vibe that she had some interest in me as well. She said yes and we had a great time up until the very end of the night. We ended up leaving the function with a group of friends and heading to the local bars. While at the bar, I immediately noticed something was a little weird because she ran into this kid and you know how you can just tell when there's something going on between two people? Well, that was the case. Anyways, we left that bar and that kid and went to another bar. It was then she asked my friend's girlfriend to go to the bathroom with her. My friend's girlfriend would return, but my date wouldn't. My friend's girlfriend told me she had said to tell me she'd be back in 10 minutes. She never came back. Needless to say, I was pretty upset just by the fact that I felt purely disrespected. I was also confused because I thought everything was going great. Well, then my friend's girlfriend pulled me aside and told me what went down in the bathroom. She said that my date was like, "Ok, what's the deal with so-and-so (me)? What's he all about?" And my friend's girlfriend was like he's an amazing guy, he knows how to treat a girl right, he's caring and he doesn't have any bad intentions with you tonight. He simply is attracted to you and wanted to get to know you. My date answered by saying that she was also attracted to me, that I was very sweet and she was having fun, but there was a guy there at the bar (that kid I was talking about) who she had been "hooking up" with for about a month now but it wasn't anything more than that - they weren't dating or in a relationship and she didn't know what to do. Well, once she told me that I went looking in the other bar to see if she was with him, but she was no where to be found. On the good side of things, he was also still there, so I know for a fact she didn't leave with him. She texted me the next day apologizing several times and saying that she had a really good time with me. Her excuse was her phone had died after she left my friend's girlfriend and that she was really drunk and left with her roommates. I played dumb and told her not to worry about it and that I had a good time too. Now, I don't know where to go from here. I've gotten several different opinions. My gay friend told me I should ask her to lunch and see where it goes from there. However, a couple of my girl friends, including the one that spoke to her in the bathroom, says I should leave it be and make her come to me. Their reasoning was that I need to be in control and not let her walk all over me and she needs to decide what she wants to do on her own. My gay friend is giving her the benefit of the doubt by saying that he thinks she was just in an uncomfortable situation and wanted to remove herself from it, which I can see, but then again I always see the good in people and can be blinded from the bad. I'm also still not happy with the fact that she left without telling me. So what should I do? I'm having a party this weekend that she knows about. My girl friends told me to not text her unless she texts me first and see if she shows up to that. My gay friend says to take her to lunch. What do you think? It seems shes playing games so forget about her. She gonna be caught in the middle again and you'll wish she wasnt there.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 You're now both at bar#2 and this hook-up of hers is in bar#1? She excuses herself to go to the bathroom, and leaves you hanging at the bar while she hightails it out of there? First she's really not into you. She couldn't even get through the date. Sorry, her actions are at odds with the words conveyed to you. Second she's incredibly rude, immature, and inconsiderate for unceremoniously abandoning you and disappearing into the night. Don't give her the time of day even if she comes grovelling back with excuses, unless you enjoy being jerked around six ways into Sunday! Ignore her if she has the gall to show up at your party. She's not there for you. Learn when to cut your losses and walk away. It will save you a lot of grief. There are other women who will be genuinely into you and will want to date YOU, not climb out bathroom windows to escape. She's keeping you from finding one of these women. Also it might be worthwhile to have a one-on-one date before inviting someone over to a frat party. Girls will sometimes say yes to the latter, even if they aren't into you, because they get to meet everyone who'll be there, and they don't have to worry about spending much time with you relative to a "real" date. Just a suggestion...
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