h4m484 Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 (edited) I seen others do this and I think its a good idea to practice self-control. We dated for a year and half. I moved into her place temporary helped pay utilities it was fun. We exercises together, cooked dinner, had fun between the sheets, got each other up to move the car for street sweeping. Then the bad, she would come home from work in a horrible mood and this happen everyday. She would pick fights with me. Then she would become terribly insecure about all my friends asking what I was doing every second of the day. One of my good friends is a girl who is my ex from high school. I tried to make it clear to her that neither my ex or I have any feelings for each other. Well, she decided to check my emails, txt msgs ect. This is where I went wrong I guess. I was talking to my ex about the problems I was having in this relationship through email, basically I was venting. I felt it was natural because that's all we ever talk about is how she complains about new people she is dating and this was the first time I vented to her. This was pretty much the deal breaker for both of us for me because I don't feel right telling my friend I cant talk to you anymore because of my gf and she hacked my password and checked. For her because she did not like that I still talk to her especially venting about our relationship. So now a week goes by and stupid me realized how much I miss her. It dose not help that she also tell me she misses me but we cant be together because of what I had done. Another week goes by and my friends are helping me get over her. She then comes back txting me that she is happy that I'm moving on. Then she comes over and we hook up. The next day she is back to the we cant be together because what I did story. I get confused and frustrated and do NC. She txts me in the morning happy stuff ect. I shrug it off and continue to see my friends trying to get me to stop thinking of her. One night I'm out at a party and my friend shows me her facebook with her and another guy dating. I continue NC 1 day later she txts me asking if we could go for a drive. She knows I like to drive around with her to relax in the canyons. And now I'm here. btw I'm 27 and shes 24. Edited December 2, 2012 by h4m484
Author h4m484 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Sunday, did not initiate contact with ex she decided she wanted to make clear we are friends. I reinforced the fact that we are just friends. She still did not reveal to me that she is already seeing someone. She txt to say happy bday. We ended up setting a date for auto show next sat morning. I'm debating if I should flake. My friends don't know I started to txt her again. They would be very angry with me if they found out. My plan is to just be positive no anger no jealousy no past. Treat her like an unimportant acquaintance. I feel slightly depressed unable to concentrate but hopeful and impatient. I did go to a party last night where I met a lot of perfect girls that are all taken ;/ but at least I know perfect does exists.
Author h4m484 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) I'm so confused someone please help me understand my ex gf. Right after my last post she came over and we slept together.(I was really surprised and happy) She was really happy and she left to work in the morning. I later txt her at work asking if she was going to break up with the other guy. She still said she loves both of us and she cant make a decision yet. So once again I told her I can't do friends and that if she can't make up her mind then I don't think we should talk anymore. Now I'm just thinking about if I made the right choice frantically looking for her number in my phone to ask her if she was sure of her answer and why that was her answer. (I deleted everything and forgot her number) Edited December 3, 2012 by h4m484
denxnis Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 If you already see other "perfect" girls I think you will be fine. You just need to stop talking/seeing your ex. For a lot of us we have the issue of, "everyone sucks compared to her/him". This is when you know you are going to take a while to recover.
Author h4m484 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) Then I come to terms that I can't and should not call her. I found myself thinking when I was driving to work today. Why is my happiness dependent on if I'm with this girl or not. I should be happy on my own. I think I been in a relationship for so many year I forgot that I could be happy single. So this is another serious question. How do I work on being happy alone? Does it just take time and forcing myself in a lot of awkward situations like for example being 3rd wheel, or eating at a restaurant by myself? If you already see other "perfect" girls I think you will be fine. You just need to stop talking/seeing your ex. For a lot of us we have the issue of, "everyone sucks compared to her/him". This is when you know you are going to take a while to recover. I know what you mean. I do know there are better girls out there. I guess I'm just so impatient to find her already. Edited December 3, 2012 by h4m484
Author h4m484 Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 I confess I have no self control. I don't want to go into work with this feeling I need an answer. I found her number I called and she called back. I asked for her to be real and just straighten out all our feelings so that there are no what ifs. She said a little, mostly trying to dodge the question but decided to call me back in 40 min on her break. Great.
Author h4m484 Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 soon after she txt me i dont want to talk. we argued a little bit and then i gave her the question. she dodged it and i took her dodging as get a clue dumb ass shes over you. so i said good bye along with other negatives and blocked her on my verizon account. i feel better actually. good night.
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