Author TexAggie1 Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 UPDATE: I've been NC for a month. Her old roommate sends me a text saying "Can I tell you something, but don't freak out!!! I ask good or bad, I can't take anymore bad news. She says good, and will call in a bit. She calls me and tells me Jenn talked to her about me...saying she missed me, cares about me a lot. She asked her is this because it's the Holidays or that you're lonely, or you rethinking all this. She apparently didn't give a real answer...so I didn't get too excited about it. The next day, I get this text from her roommate: "Just between us if you want to reach out to Jenn I think you should. Whether its sending her a heartfelt card and gift. Putting the ball in her court or trying to call her. It's up to you. I think the bitterness has subsided and she would be willing to communicate. Don't misconstrue that for I think she wants to get back together. But, it's more than what ya'll have now" I then asked "what makes you think this?" She replied: Our emails today. Told her about our chat last night and she said she may or may not be getting a present. she said she would feel bad accepting it. I said well you may have to make that choice. She didn't sound against contact with you at all. I know how bad you want to make contact with her. I'm telling you now it may be ok. Just don't ever text her. Extremely impersonal!!!" So...this is what I did. She loves to read, so I bought her a Nook HD (I wanted to get her that for the past year). Also...in the past she would ask "how much do you love me"...and I would reply "to infinity and beyond". Cheesy, I know...but it's what couples do, right? I also got her a Buzz Lightyear doll and through it in the box. The card is simple...it reads "Missing you. Wanted to get you this all year. I wish you only the best over the Holidays. -my name...then my phone number" I told her I loved her, without saying I loved her. I said call me, without saying call me. Fedex'ed it to her a few days ago...waiting to hear back (confirmed delivery late tonight). Honestly, I really do believe this was good for me. Creative, honest, and to the point. If she ignores it, gives me negative feedback, so be it...then I know. If she comes to me wanting to talk things out...then I will be realistic in making sure she is serious about working this out. (Please don't hate TaraMaiden, I'm doing my best here)
TaraMaiden Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Interesting? That's one word for it.... I'm not really sure this mutual friend is doing either of you any favours. What she should do is tell your ex to quit prevaricating and if she feels like 'Doing' something, then 'Do' it. And then - Butt The Hell Out. As ever, as always, Actions speak louder than words. Your mutual friend is feeding the drama, and if all this goes belly-up, will have more than contributed to perpetuating it.... I'm sure she means well, and believes she's being a match-maker or bridge-builder, but your hopes are being built up. While your romantic gesture with the Buzz Lightyear toy is well-intentioned - there's massive motive of hope and desperation there. Hope for the best but expect the worst. 'Moving on' isn't your strong point is it? What a way to spend Christmas. With your brain like scrambled eggs. Well, now we wait and see. If your ex- doesn't act on this - then it's really over - and your mutual friend needs shutting up......
Author TexAggie1 Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 Haven't logged in for awhile, thought I'd drop back in as something odd happened. She liked the gift, but was on the fence in giving it back as not to send mixed messages...then asked "what's it going to take got you to get closure?" That went over well...sheesh. So we didn't talk for a while. Then I ran into my ex Kristy at a local grocery store, turned around and walked out...she didn't see me. I sent a message to Jenn about it, which she quickly informed me she is in the same running class as Kristy...WTF?! She then accused me of already knowing as she assumes I still talk to her...which is false. Then today...she sent a FB friend request?! Huh?
Chi townD Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 WTF?!?! Okay, I've got the answer for you. You live in Texas? Move to Minnesota! QUICKLY!
JDP25 Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Haven't logged in for awhile, thought I'd drop back in as something odd happened. She liked the gift, but was on the fence in giving it back as not to send mixed messages...then asked "what's it going to take got you to get closure?" That went over well...sheesh. So we didn't talk for a while. Then I ran into my ex Kristy at a local grocery store, turned around and walked out...she didn't see me. I sent a message to Jenn about it, which she quickly informed me she is in the same running class as Kristy...WTF?! She then accused me of already knowing as she assumes I still talk to her...which is false. Then today...she sent a FB friend request?! Huh? Be real careful with the ladies. Yeah, the ladies talk mad **** about each other, about "I can't stand her" "I hate her" etc.. Than later they are hanging out and are BFFs. Right? Best to look at them like villains. It's like this, villains don't like each other, but when they have the same common enemy, they team up. Well, if she knows Kristy from running class. Hhmm.. Girls talk and they can turn any of their words to their liking. Kristy could of made up a load of crap about you that later made Jenn come up with a sinister plan. Think about it like the movie "John Tucker must Die". He played all these ladies in high school and now all of them want to kill him. Well this situation sounds like that (except wanting to kill you). I would drop the pieces and leave before they walk both walk on you. You broke Kristy's heart and wants pay back. This is not one of those follow your "heart" moments. This those get out of dodge moments. I thought you were on the same boat as me with following your heart. I was going to say keep fighting, if y'all left on good terms. In this case it likes you didn't so leave and move on. If y'all meant to be together for good, "fate" will bring your guys paths together. For now your path is on a different course and as well as hers. Keep walking forward and stop looking back.
Author TexAggie1 Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 After sending me a friend request last night, I never accepted it. Then it disappeared this afternoon. So I sent a message saying "why?" : Jenn: Why what? Me: u know Jenn: I don't? What are u talking about? Me:u requested me to be your friend on FB Jenn: ?umm nope Jenn: Weird, it's saying I did. Don't know why it did that. Me: I see...sorry to bother. How is that even possible to "friend request" someone, them pull it back...and all of that happen without she knowing?
Simon Phoenix Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 After sending me a friend request last night, I never accepted it. Then it disappeared this afternoon. So I sent a message saying "why?" : Jenn: Why what? Me: u know Jenn: I don't? What are u talking about? Me:u requested me to be your friend on FB Jenn: ?umm nope Jenn: Weird, it's saying I did. Don't know why it did that. Me: I see...sorry to bother. How is that even possible to "friend request" someone, them pull it back...and all of that happen without she knowing? It doesn't matter and it's probably for the best. You need to move forward. 1
cavalier99 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 DUDE. Stop playing their games, sending gifts, communicating etcetera. Time to completely cut ex and everyone of her friends out of you life forever. It is well overdue. You'll never move on this way.
Author TexAggie1 Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) Ha...I'm doing MUCH better actually. Did I "accept" the request? no Was I planning to even if she didn't pull it back? no It's been 3 months and yes, it's still painful...but I'm not the sucker I once was. I want to know intent at this point, because if I get the hint of it being games...it has the opposite effect of what she's looking for. I've been on a few dates (friends setting me up). Good distraction, but I'm not big into rebounds. I miss her, think about her alot...but the initial "earthquake" is over, just tremors at the moment. It's just odd that she reaches out ever so often to make sure I'm still there. Edited January 24, 2013 by TexAggie1
cavalier99 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Well glad your doing well. Ive sorta read your story but haven't posted much on it. Keep on moving forward . Well get there soon enough and you ex and thoughts of getting back with her will be a distant memory. Definitely go on those dates. It helps. Cav
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