capricorndreamgurl3 Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 Does anyone have parents like this: they bicker over the dumbest things and then when you are alone with either parent, they start saying bad things about one another. My mom is really notorious for this. She always complains about what my dad and how much he gets on her nerves. Then my dad complains about my mom too. It gets annoying and it feels like both of them pressure me to take a side, but I see that they are both being silly and I say nothing at all. Is it something that happens when parents get older or what? My husband's parents are the same way too. Either way, it gets old dealing with it.
Sugarkane Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 I don't know but my dad endlessly complains he has to do stuff yet doesn't just do it. Eg Something in the household broken, car problem etc. It annoys me that he complains about mess yet is a hoarder. He complains he has to do everything yet never does the housework. I don't think thats fair he is off 4 days and my mum works full time too yet she also does the housework. He loves endlessly complaining and doing nothing about it.
turnera Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 That is their comfort zone. Your task is to either not take it personally and change your attitude about what it really means, or to kindly suggest that you don't like hearing it and you'll remove yourself from the room if it continues.
TaraMaiden Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 capricorndreamgurl3, do what I did. My parents were together for 57 years, but as is natural for any couple, they had their 'moments' too.... (By 'moments' I mean occasionally long spells of just not getting on....!) Whenever my mother began on something, I'd just put my hand up, and without looking at her, I'd say "Sorry - don't want to hear it - you guys are the grown-ups, I don't need to be involved; you need to sort this for yourselves!" I did the same thing when my father, conversely, went into one of his long, 'stiff-upper-lip' ever-so-British silences: "You guys need to talk to each other, because this atmosphere isn't fair on us kids. Be adult - but don't put us in the middle!" My mother admitted this put them both in the situation where they HAD to resolve their differences, with each other.
TaraMaiden Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 ilikenamitha, - your blog-link takes me nowhere.....
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