Swe3tAngel Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 So the person i was with for a year .. and love.. no longer wants me in his life.. .we haven't spoken in a month as he changed his phone # and basically got me out of his life.. i got over the initial shock and pain.. im doing better now w my life as im taking care of myself and working on myself and im over the phase "cant live without him" etc etc.. now im at a phase where i think logically and i know what im worth and i know he needs to come after me and want me back, not the other way around... and i also now realize why i love him and that yes, after everything good n bad.. i do love him and deep inside i just feel n know that he's the one for me i cant explain it... but the only thing is.. bfore we officially split and we were fighting and hurting each other.. .a girl came in the picture.. idk where she popped in from.. but i realized n heard that hes flirting with her and got close to her. i confronted both of them and both denied it and she swore that she just saw him as a friend and wil never share anything more than that and that she loves someone else. btw.. she's married and has a kid.. but in my heart i knew it wasnt just that... cuz i know him so well and sometimes things like this u just know in your gut feeling... turns out i was right all along.. when me n him finally splilt and bfore he changed his phone number.. i met up with him and i read his texts n all.. n he finally admited to liking her and i saw how they've been texting back n forth and he's been flirting with her and wanting to get close and mind you, she led him on! she accepted his flirtation and she loved the attention regardless of being married and being a mother! so that was it for me... i told her off and him off and both and she still had the face to deny it and said she was still just friends with him but she'd stop since it bothered me and she played the innocent role and told him that i was bothering her and she told him they cudn't be friends anymore. of course he got mad at me and changed his phone # as i was the "bad" person... but of course she is full of lies.. they didn't stop.. why would she? she got all the attention from him, she found a job thru him, connection, attention, and pretty much use him for things... what else would she want him for? she's got a family.. and also she's not interested in him as everyone knows that... on top of that, she flirts and God knows what she does/did with most guys at school anyway... idc what she does or did.. my anger and pain came from HIS side.. i mean, a girl whos married and has a kid... he went after her?? i mean, that was so low and sad of him to do that..every text message he sent her was 'i miss u so much' heart heart heart.. good morning sunshine.. i miss u.. i miss u.. come il make u dinner.. i miss u.. I WAS shocked! he even put her picture as his phone display and made sure to show me that he did that.. after a month of us not talking as he changed his phone # and she swore they wudnt talk anymore as she didnt want any more drama and only was friends with him but now she wouldn't be... of course, a month later, i see them at school together "working" and walking together, standing together etc etc.. yes she saw me, and i didn't react.. i wasn't going to show them that i was upset or sad.. who are they for me to lower myself.. but she tried avoiding me as much as she could while he would just pass by me like 10 times even though he didn't say anything to me nor did i... the thing is tho.. i know he still cares abt me n i kno regardless of everything i still care for him... i know i pushed him away.. and if it wasn't her it would be another girl eventually.. and now i just want my man back n i want his attention on me n no other girl.. bfore he changed his phone # .. he told me he didn't want to go thru that.. but he wanted space from me to heal and i just wudnt give him that and i was hurting him even more... help???? plz?? i really do want him back.. but i wnt let him know im sad, miss him or any of that.. i want him to see me as the confident and happy and independent woman he met n cared for.. i want him to pursue me again i want us to be happy together again .. i want him to apologize abt her and i want her out of the pic n want him to give me his love n care n attention to me n only me as it shud have been the case the whole time n i shudnt have pushed him away so what do you think?? he really likes her?? or is he trying to get over me and is using her as an excuse because he knows she wont expect much from him since she's already married? or do u think he has hopes to be with her and is that stupid to go after her?? is he using her? what do you think is the deal???
Author Swe3tAngel Posted December 2, 2012 Author Posted December 2, 2012 I think it's over and you need to move on. i forgot a few details.. bfore he changed his phone # he told me that he wud do it so that we cud have space n that if/wen later on we saw each other at school or anywhere else we'd say hi n exchange # n perhaps b friends again or so.. n also... ive done this bfore where ive changed my # wen he hurt me really badly about 7-9 months ago n he went crzy n found my # n cried so much not wnating to let me go n also.. bfore he changed his # he told me... it wud b the hardest thing he ever had to do n it wud hurt like crzy but he thought it was needed cuz i became so clingy n wud call him like 100 times daily n he got paranoid cuz we'd fight so much n all so he thought it wud b necessary.. SO why do u say that u think its over?? i mean just cuz he changed his # n wants space its done? wat abt all the things that we went thru n every tear n sweat that he spent out on me... after a year and half of so much ... its just over ? can u plz explain? mayb i shud give out more details cuz its not as simple as we fought, he changed his # n blablabla... but i wud like the explaination of ur conclusion
movingon12 Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 SO why do u say that u think its over?? i mean just cuz he changed his # n wants space its done? Yes. (10 characters)
Author Swe3tAngel Posted December 2, 2012 Author Posted December 2, 2012 Yes. (10 characters) lol ok.. .. tells me a lot about what kinda person u r n how u think tnx anyway
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 Honey, this is over. When people do this, that means it's over. It hurts. But here's reasons why its over: 1) you haven't spoken in a month?(relationship is about communication) 2) He is obviously with the other girl; why it happened. 3) he's got you wrapped around his finger; liars are manipulators; he tells you that he blocked you for space, so you two could think? That's a red flag. Sweetie. I know what it is to be manipulated. I know what it means to be tossed away for another. I know your hurt and pain. But this Guy is not right for you. He is a loser. Don't let him make a constant victim out of you; pick yourself up! Move on, do things. In that you can forget him. Find another who will graciously love you like the woman you are.
Author Swe3tAngel Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Honey, this is over. When people do this, that means it's over. It hurts. But here's reasons why its over: 1) you haven't spoken in a month?(relationship is about communication) 2) He is obviously with the other girl; why it happened. 3) he's got you wrapped around his finger; liars are manipulators; he tells you that he blocked you for space, so you two could think? That's a red flag. Sweetie. I know what it is to be manipulated. I know what it means to be tossed away for another. I know your hurt and pain. But this Guy is not right for you. He is a loser. Don't let him make a constant victim out of you; pick yourself up! Move on, do things. In that you can forget him. Find another who will graciously love you like the woman you are. i agree w everything u said.. n i know why u say all that... id say the same thing to anyone.. and ya i mean i am in the process of moving on an all... how can he b with her tho when she's married and she has a kid and is living w her husband?? lol unless she's just that open n he's just ok w that n is that stupid.. i mean idk im confused... i mean i just dk..
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 You know sweetness...I used to have the same questions. I wondered where she would be or who she's sleeping with. I often wondered why she would do what she did to me. I still have random thoughts...its life...its memories despite what people may say...you don't forget. But you certainly can control the pain and how it effects you. Simple answer: he can. He cheated on you, he/her can easily work around the other partner. They won't forever, but for a good while. It is ist as easy to deceive someone, as it is to destroy them. Why? Cause he was horny. Lust? I am sure seeing something that appealed to him, wanting it. Affairs are always such selfish matters. Either way by the end of the day the answers don't really matter. People do things because they can...reasons don't matter. But he's scum. Unworthy of your wonderful self: your voice, thoughts, kisses, time, and body...these wonderful things he was unworthy of. He is the loser. It doesn't seem that way...but he is. A pretty girl like you will win...one day. When you least expect it. Besides feel free to ask questions and vent here. Others might tell you to stop(really it isn't healthy for you..) I will try to answer them. I know the need for answers...
Author Swe3tAngel Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 You know sweetness...I used to have the same questions. I wondered where she would be or who she's sleeping with. I often wondered why she would do what she did to me. I still have random thoughts...its life...its memories despite what people may say...you don't forget. But you certainly can control the pain and how it effects you. Simple answer: he can. He cheated on you, he/her can easily work around the other partner. They won't forever, but for a good while. It is ist as easy to deceive someone, as it is to destroy them. Why? Cause he was horny. Lust? I am sure seeing something that appealed to him, wanting it. Affairs are always such selfish matters. Either way by the end of the day the answers don't really matter. People do things because they can...reasons don't matter. But he's scum. Unworthy of your wonderful self: your voice, thoughts, kisses, time, and body...these wonderful things he was unworthy of. He is the loser. It doesn't seem that way...but he is. A pretty girl like you will win...one day. When you least expect it. Besides feel free to ask questions and vent here. Others might tell you to stop(really it isn't healthy for you..) I will try to answer them. I know the need for answers... thanks :'( you know what's really sad? about 8 months ago.. when we were "dating / seeing each other / sleeping together / spending day n night together" .. we were like husband and wife.. he turned around in front of a mutual friend n said he'd never b with me no matter what i did n it broke my heart. i got up n left ... n changed my # n nicely n kindley told him to let me go so i cud move on because i wanted to spend my life w him and not hurt like the way he hurt me... what he did was he got a bunch of gifts n came to my house n in front of my parents he told me to go home w him n he cried so much begging me to stay n not leave.. he held me literally the whole night n cried askikng me to stay n even found my # n ended up texting me so much that i decided to give him a chance.. n later he ended up hurting me again... so wen he finally changed his # n left me i was shattered that he did that to me .. i mean she's married... she has a kid... how cud he leave me for her?? how cud he b so heartless? ... he broke his leg once n i spent day n night taking care of him like his freakin wife.. i even showered him... i gave him literally everything n he destroyed me..
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 (edited) Sweetheart...imma tell you a small story. I was in love with a girl named Sara...though she called herself Gemma too. We had four and a half years together. All those nights I would comfort her or be there for her. Those times her dad would call just to cuss her out. I was there to pick her up. I gave her encouragement. During our finale year together she would constantly break promises and lie to me. She would alter plans...put everything before me. Heck I remember begging her for just thirty mins of time...she would take the personal (I) our of love and give me listless love yous. I remember I proved my love to her by bearing...enduring with her(endurance is a signe of love). I would buy her 200$ flowers very pretty flowers twice a year. A very expensive ring with our names on it. I remember no ty...only I cannot wear this and oneday seeing her pick it off the ground...after four or three wonderful years why? All those lonely nights walking the park and starring at the candle light flicker of fire on the water and thinking... Point is...I never had an answer. Just a bunch of what could be answers. I was the better Guy vs what she chose. Same for you. Just they wanted more...heartless and wanted more. it was selfish greed. You are the better choice. But he went with what his lusts told him. He lied and manipulated you into taking him back so he could hurt you more. All those times you made love to him or healed him...he wasn't worthy. Still isn't. Doll, you are just way too good for that idiot. He sure downgraded. He will reap what he's sown...maybe not now...but soon. Edited December 3, 2012 by Toddbt12y1
Author Swe3tAngel Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Sweetheart...imma tell you a small story. I was in love with a girl named Sara...though she called herself Gemma too. We had four and a half years together. All those nights I would comfort her or be there for her. Those times her dad would call just to cuss her out. I was there to pick her up. I gave her encouragement. During our finale year together she would constantly break promises and lie to me. She would alter plans...put everything before me. Heck I remember begging her for just thirty mins of time...she would take the personal (I) our of love and give me listless love yous. I remember I proved my love to her by bearing...enduring with her(endurance is a signe of love). I would buy her 200$ flowers very pretty flowers twice a year. A very expensive ring with our names on it. I remember no ty...only I cannot wear this and oneday seeing her pick it off the ground...after four or three wonderful years why? All those lonely nights walking the park and starring at the candle light flicker of fire on the water and thinking... Point is...I never had an answer. Just a bunch of what could be answers. I was the better Guy vs what she chose. Same for you. Just they wanted more...heartless and wanted more. it was selfish greed. You are the better choice. But he went with what his lusts told him. He lied and manipulated you into taking him back so he could hurt you more. All those times you made love to him or healed him...he wasn't worthy. Still isn't. Doll, you are just way too good for that idiot. He sure downgraded. He will reap what he's sown...maybe not now...but soon. thanks.. ur story is touching sry to hear that n ya its his loss not mine
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Yes its his loss! I am glad you are seeing that. /big hugs* so happy to see you see that. Now remember you can always ask anything here on LS and even help others when the time comes
Author Swe3tAngel Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Yes its his loss! I am glad you are seeing that. /big hugs* so happy to see you see that. Now remember you can always ask anything here on LS and even help others when the time comes ya will do.. ugh its so hard to meet ppl.. i mean i dont really socializ much n everyone at my school knew about me n him n they are all just friends im not attracted to any of them and they just back off cuz of him... n anyone else whos interested in me im not interested it just doesn't click... and its just so hard for me to like someone.. idk if or how im gna meet new ppl / date n just do the whole thing over again... will i ever like someone lol im tired of this single life im ready to date again i just dnt know where to begin or where to find 'the right' person/ppl lol
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Plenty of dating websites or you might come across that person in the real world somewhere. Might be single for a while but not forever. Besides this gives you time to do things you'd like to do and be as Flirty as you'd like with people and boost your confidence up Yeah avoid dating anyone that knows him well. /wink a hottie like you want be single forever just be confident
Author Swe3tAngel Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Plenty of dating websites or you might come across that person in the real world somewhere. Might be single for a while but not forever. Besides this gives you time to do things you'd like to do and be as Flirty as you'd like with people and boost your confidence up Yeah avoid dating anyone that knows him well. /wink a hottie like you want be single forever just be confident lol ya haha thanks again
LostOne1 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Your story sounds JUST like mines. I think I basically pushed my ex into another guys arms. My ex had to go on a 2 month work trip to a city 4 hours away. Halfway in the trip our communication was low and I guess she assumed I was too busy or having fun without her. I had just lost my grandma 1 month before and was sick along with relatives visiting and I had to show them around my city. So I assume my ex thought I had time for them and not her. Anyways she BU with me online basically. She said she needed space and it hurt me a lot. When she did get back into town we fought and she told me "I'm not yours anymore". SO I asked what it meant and she said the truth was she was with someone else now and she was going to marry him next year and already slept with him and just went off on me in anger. Later she finally told me she didn;t mean it and shes not with anyone else and that she just did it so I'd move on. Truth is so far after 3-4 months I STILL see no valid proof that she is with someone, But I also see no proof to say she isn't. Both of them on their FB haven't posted anything public. I havent seen my ex on MSN, and I don't really care anymore to be honest. But at 3 months now I am feeling MUCH better. But take my advice just go NC and it GETS better. I feel like a FOOL trying to win her back. I sent her a sorry card, made a video don't know what else sweet gestures I tried to show I wanted her still. But now I realized it was stupid to do it all. I would never take her back, there is NO way to know what she did with this guy. She told me he always cooked dinner for her each night, they lived in the same rental home, they went on long drives alone... Basically she replaced me with him. I couldn't be there physically and he was her support. He charmed her and told her he liked her, she did tell me before the BU he asked her a sexual question too. I guess thats why my ex was confused when she BU with me. She knew she was throwing away a 3 yr relationship for a guy she knows for 3 weeks. But something made her do it.. and well.. that's how it is. I jsut remind myself she isn't worth it. if she can do that too me NOW, what's to say she wouldn't do that when we are married? I might have dodged a bullet! So hang in there and work with NC and enforce it. Youll feel good soon!
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