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Husband says leave it alone but i keep getting caught in the middle


lulee

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So, my MIL and her MIL went at (literally fought) and my MIL kicked her MIL out of the house. Now My husband's grandmother is calling me ( i do not know why). I don't want to be in the middle of their drama as it is their drama. I don't know what to say without been rude so i haven't responded i just don't want to be in the middle? My husband is overseas he is military so he says we dont need the drama as he is working hard to get me to his side. My MIL is also horrible mind you she is very manipulative and dominant, if you read my other threads you would see. But also My husband's grandmother aint so easy to swallow either. So all this in a way is good because if my own MIL bothers me too much i can use her not liking her own for her to let us be.

Anyways, so my husband's grandmother keeps calling me, what can i say to her without been rude as most likely she will just talk bad about my MIL and i dont want gossip within the family about she says he said, what would you say?

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Anyways, so my husband's grandmother keeps calling me, what can i say to her without been rude as most likely she will just talk bad about my MIL and i dont want gossip within the family about she says he said, what would you say?

Without any venom in your voice, you say - quite calmly and sweetly - that with your husband overseas, you need to surround yourself with only positive thoughts and influences and if she can't say anything nice, please don't say anything at all.

 

When she starts down the road of negativity, politely interrupt her and reiterate that you really don't want to hear bad things and you are going to end the conversation if she continues. Give her a chance to change the direction of the conversation towards a positive note and if she doesn't, politely end the conversation.

 

Stand your ground and ONLY say kind and pleasant things about everyone involved.

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Thank you, i will most definitely give this a try, my MIL is also very impossible, She is overly dramatic, seeks attention 24/7 and won't let my husband live his life. she was threatening everybody about killing herself or what not, she sent an email to my husband whom is overseas, just blabbing dumb stuff to him and he called me feeling terrible saying i dont understand why his parents are been like that, and she is just making him feel guilty for her issues with her husband. They always expect him to be the mediator yet i feel we wont ever have peace without their parents acting like kids and my husband the adult in the middle trying to fix everything. His mother almost blamed him for leaving and not been round to fix things when that should be between his dad and his mom to figure out for sakes they are adults. Now my husband feels terrible and even more stressed out than ever, he feels guilty because he says he has always been there to help ease things between his parents when they go at it, i mean this is never ending, i feel like they will never let him live his life with his wife and his future kids you know? His mother specially is always making guilt trips for others to feel bad, and she is so selfish my husband isnt playing games nor is 10 years old, she should be the most understanding as his mother. I don't even know what to say to her am so pissed, i feel like telling her do me the favor and leave your son alone he isnt playing games he is miles away and whatever issues you have with your husband deal with it on your own your grown up enough. ugh.... what to do.

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