Clb5412 Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 Hi everyone, I have been in a nine month relationship with a honest and mature guy. He came on strong at the beginning and talked about weddings, kids, etc. I was scared and distant because I thought he was too good to be true. My bf complained about how distant and unaffectionate I was. This had been an issue in all my past relationships due to trust. Anyway, I started seeing a therapist who has helped me figure out and get past these issues. The problem is by me being withdrawn and unaffectionate my boyfriend has fell into the same pattern. Now that I am working things out and feeling better, thanks to my therapist, I crave his affection. I have started being more affection hand holding, hand on knee, kisses, etc. This is a challenge because I am still learning what affection and not sex, is. The problem is he is still being distant and withdrawn. Is there hope? What can I do because I fear he is permanently set in this distant relationship with me.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 First, talk to him. Then, give lots of positive reinforcement whenever he does anything even vaguely affectionate. "Honey, I love it when you do xyz." If that goes nowhere, invite him to join you for one of your therapist's visits. 1
todreaminblue Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 If he is an honest and mature guy he will appreciate the same from you, tell him you do understand why he is distant and that you want to work things out, tell him what your therapist has discussed with you, only what you are comfortable with and keep showing him affection like you are.....maybe he will open up to you if you broach the subject of affection with him...i wish you luck .....deb
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