Jump to content

First time I'm not giving into a fight with Boyfriend, havent heard from him at all.

minniebelle

By minniebelle
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

  • Author
minniebelle Member

minniebelle

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Me 10:18 PM

i dont want to cave in and be the one that calls everytime

i dont want him to play this power game with me anymore

 

Friend 10:20 PM

yeah but you gave him something to fight with this round

you said youll talk to him later

Cutiepie1976 Established Member

Cutiepie1976

Posted
Posted
I was talking to my friend about this, and he wonders if hes not calling because I said "I'll talk to you later" before I ended the conversation. He thinks my boyfriend is taking that word for word.

 

I'm sure he spontaneously called you in the past even when these were your parting words.

 

You're trying to find reasons to call him while he's punishing you and teaching you a lesson.

 

Your life...your consequences!

  • Like 1
Under The Radar Established Member

Under The Radar

Posted
Posted
Me 10:18 PM

i dont want to cave in and be the one that calls everytime

i dont want him to play this power game with me anymore

 

Friend 10:20 PM

yeah but you gave him something to fight with this round

you said youll talk to him later

 

 

Sorry, but your friend is wrong.

  • Like 1
  • Author
minniebelle Member

minniebelle

Posted
  • Author
Posted

My brain has actually been on the mindset of breaking up with him for a while. Things were actually going really well between us, but this incident just reminds me of why I was always unsure about the relationship. I couldnt see myself falling in love with him. We hadnt had an argument in a really long time and this really came out of nowhere.

Taramere Established Member

Taramere

Posted
Posted
I know im not suppose to call him and I still have no intention to, but this is a lot harder than I thought. I have finals next week and I cannot focus on anything.

 

Well you have to focus on your finals. That's all there is to it. Presumably you're studying at university to get into a profession of some sort. Once you get a career you will have to manage to switch off from your personal life in order to deal with work matters...and university is the place to start learning to do that. It's your responsibility to learn to do it now. Yes it's difficult, but that's why a lot of people fail at things and only a few succeed. Because so many people use "it's difficult" as permission to fail.

 

I'm not even going to get into what a dick your boyfriend is being or how this is making you feel, because that just encourages you to waste time thinking about this when you should be switching off from all of it, focusing on your finals and nothing else.

 

Maybe the prick wants you to fail your exams so that he can encourage you to feel incompetent. Don't have that. Once you get properly into studying, this incident is going to go out of your mind. You need to switch off from it now. Stop wasting time trying to resolve a dispute that somebody else is set on keeping going.

  • Like 1
  • Author
minniebelle Member

minniebelle

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

"Ohh ok so he isn't too agitated with anything at the moment, he is currently on the computer watching YouTube videos. But it's ok! He is really aware oflike everything cause he takes care of me so I know like the tone and stuff. He gets mad but can't stay at it for long so I bet he was just angry at somthing at that time. Problem is, he is hard headed so you got to do the calling otherwise you two won't talk for a long long time, he did that with mom once."

 

"Noooo its okay, but I really do think you should tell him that he hurt you, tell him maybe your tone was bad but how he responded to you was too hurtful"

 

His brother is around his age, and very kind and in my opinion reasonable. But I am in no way calling him as he suggested, because I have always done that and definitely not this time.

Boyfriend hasn't contacted me in any way yet.

Edited by minniebelle
Million.to.1 Established Member

Million.to.1

Posted
Posted

GO AND STUDY!!!!!!!

 

STOP WASTING YOUR TIME POSTING OVER THIS LOSER AND GET ON WITH WHATS IMPORTANT TO YOUR FUTURE!

 

worry about him later. dump him later. He's already winning by you giving him all this attention!

  • Like 3
FitChick Established Member

FitChick

Posted
Posted

His brother is around his age, and very kind and in my opinion reasonable.

Why don't you date him instead?

  • Like 1
Cutiepie1976 Established Member

Cutiepie1976

Posted
Posted

Ugh! So you called his brother to check in and reason (read: beg and intercede:rolleyes:) on your behalf? Double whatever time it was going to take to get him to give in and call you!! He now has confirmation that he will win if he just hangs in there and ignores you long enough. He's conveyed to you through his brother (that YOU called) that he always wins these little piss pot contests and YOU need to give in if you ever want to talk again.

 

Anyway, I thought you were going to dump him before his latest episode of being rude then giving you the silent treatment despite your apology to him for his bad behavior? Yet he's managed to manipulate you into obsessing about him...yet again!:eek:

 

Please study and let the immature loser go! This is ludicrous.

  • Like 3
Toddbt12y1 Established Member

Toddbt12y1

Posted
Posted

Awh dear I figured you would be NC by now. First, everyone is right. Secondly, his family is deadcto you(not their fault, nor should you be cold or rude if you ever see them..) but ATM it is best to leave him and his family alone and FRIENDs.

They will only keep you linked to this guy and fill your head up with useless junk! I missed so much of this....

 

And never go see him..if you cave this easily over texts or other to him...well its ten times easier and likely you would face to face(it's harder face to face.)

Please, before you go crazy, block him. Do not call him. Heck if posting on here stops that I will talk to you constantly about it: but don't talk to this Guy...

 

If so, you are responsible for your own misery ahead. You make yourself your own victim. A moth to the flame: burnt up...always. don't waste youth on people who don't care about you! He's watching YouTube or jacking off to cats and dogs whilst you are in misery...he doesn't care...and you shouldn't either.

 

A pretty girl like you needs to move on....one person isn't worth all you are.

  • Like 2
Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted

Minnie, I'm going through the same predicament. He tends to stonewall when I express or say something he does not like. This past weekend, we were supposed to hang out. I got dressed and was waiting for his text to let me know what time to head over and at the last minute he canceled and said he is just going to stay indoors, continue playing his video game and to just come over the next day. I expressed my view that it was rude of him to wait till the last minute and he went silent. Day 2 and still nothing.

 

I have always been the one to contact first and try to make nice. This time, I am not doing it.

 

Suggest you do the same. If he doesn't come back, he surely doesn't care enough about the relationship or you to communicate and make amends. I see it as them being quite okay with the prospect of losing you.

 

Please don't query his family. And don't contact him. I know it is hard. I am finding it hard too but I just can't allow someone to do this to me anymore.

 

Just as Tood mentioned, my guy is probably still gaming while I'm sitting here in tears. :(

  • Like 3
Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

Yeah, I agree with everyone else. Don't call this moron. My ex keeps emailing me, but I had enough of him and gave him long enough to get his **** together.

 

And yeah, I was also going to suggest dating his brother. Unless you want this to continue for the rest of your life until he dumps you because you aren't enough of a challenge. You can't win with this type. If you stand up to him you're the enemy and he alternates between gaslighting and stonewalling you, but if you are weak, he just continues depleting you.

 

I know it's hard, trust me I do, but we teach people how to treat us.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
Minnie, I'm going through the same predicament. He tends to stonewall when I express or say something he does not like. This past weekend, we were supposed to hang out. I got dressed and was waiting for his text to let me know what time to head over and at the last minute he canceled and said he is just going to stay indoors, continue playing his video game and to just come over the next day. I expressed my view that it was rude of him to wait till the last minute and he went silent. Day 2 and still nothing.

 

I have always been the one to contact first and try to make nice. This time, I am not doing it.

 

Suggest you do the same. If he doesn't come back, he surely doesn't care enough about the relationship or you to communicate and make amends. I see it as them being quite okay with the prospect of losing you.

 

Please don't query his family. And don't contact him. I know it is hard. I am finding it hard too but I just can't allow someone to do this to me anymore.

 

Just as Tood mentioned, my guy is probably still gaming while I'm sitting here in tears. :(

 

When he said he'd come over the next day, you should have told him not to bother because you'd be out and busy NOT being his girlfriend anymore. What a dick.

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted
When he said he'd come over the next day, you should have told him not to bother because you'd be out and busy NOT being his girlfriend anymore. What a dick.

 

The bad part -- I was actually doubting myself about confronting him with regards to his behavior. Sometimes I need a whack behind the head. But yes, I have come to the conclusion that it is over and that I deserve so much better.

  • Author
minniebelle Member

minniebelle

Posted
  • Author
Posted

You guys have been supportive, so thank you for that.

 

After my class today I'm going to break up with him, and I'm confident in myself that I can do this. If he tried to make things right, its just too late. He had 2 1/2 days to do something and he didn't (and who knows how long he would of went on for). This isnt the kind of person I want to be with for the rest of my life. This is it.

 

I'll keep you guys updated tonight about how everything goes. If you have any last minute advice, I'd love to hear it. I have already stuffed all his stuff into a box. We had a nice run, but I'm done. Ive had enough.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

My only advice is don't break up with him. I mean, don't actively do it. Just let silence be his clue. If you break up with him, he might try to manipulate you into taking him back, or he might be a total dick to you and make you feel bad...

 

I would just go total NC and block him on everything. Mail his stupid crap to him or have someone else do it.

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted
You guys have been supportive, so thank you for that.

 

After my class today I'm going to break up with him, and I'm confident in myself that I can do this. If he tried to make things right, its just too late. He had 2 1/2 days to do something and he didn't (and who knows how long he would of went on for). This isnt the kind of person I want to be with for the rest of my life. This is it.

 

I'll keep you guys updated tonight about how everything goes. If you have any last minute advice, I'd love to hear it. I have already stuffed all his stuff into a box. We had a nice run, but I'm done. Ive had enough.

 

I wouldn't even tell him you are breaking up with him. Just accept your decision in your heart and mind and let him be. When he contacts you, then tell him it's over and that it was over when he did what he did.

 

I wouldn't extend the courtesy when he can go for days without validating your existence.

  • Like 2
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...