Scirok Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 Hey fellow Love shackers im back again and just looking for some motivation or advice as in what to do i feel kind of bad still writing on this forum as its been such a long time since my break up (about 4 months) but it seems like this month its hitting me harder then ever which is making me really get down on myself and i've basically put my self in a self distrust mode or basically just always negative as my friends say but i just cant seem to get out of this slump at all ive been doing new stuff to keep me busy and positive yet when im with my friends with their relationships it just makes me so jealous. The nights are not any better along with my free time to boot i just replay all the things i did wrong in my relationships and im not talking just my last relationship i find myself still missing exs from before my current ex one in particular that has just always had a huge part of my heart and i cant seem to shake her one memory in particular that really brings tears to my eyes is the night of are break up i was yelling at her to leave and when she finally left i went down stairs into my living room to find her crying histarically cause she didnt want to break up and i again told her to leave not knowing at the time that this would be the last time i would see her....((( it was a mistake at the time but there was alot going on at the time and im pretty sure she was having an affair on the side which created the arguement but you know i never really found out the truth and it kills me to think of that night and how horrible of a person i was to someone i loved so much. and here i am single while she is still with the guy in which she left me for does that complete my hunch that she was cheating on me the whole time yes and no it just hurts. My recent ex put up with so much of my bull**** i cant believe she hung in there as long as she did i had a very hour dependent job in which i was working 14 hour days 7 days a week with about 1-2 days off a month and it took a toll but she agreed to this prior to me taking the job about 4 months into the job i booked a cruise for the both of us as in a way to appoligize for working so much and to have a good time away from work and be happy with the girl i loved she was so happy we were planning what we were gonna do each day so on and so on then my job came to an end as it was expected to only being seasonal now i was always around but something was wrong now she didnt seem want to see me and she was always out late at night obviously something was very and something was going on that soon turned into a fight and the completion of are relationship she now also has a boyfriend. im not really sure where im going with this rant im just trying to vent and just hopefully find a way to cope im always depressed im always sad and all i think of is my exs and what could have been ive always had a very very hard time meeting girls idk what it is about me im not a horrible looking guy its just almost like i have this aura that just scares girls off im not a creep im not an ******* just like a normal guy i just dont get it im on dating sites and i cant even seem to get responses from girls i mean nothing makes sence its just like a letter went out to every girl in the world to hate me. im sorry and if u have put up with my **** and read this thank you and i hope you can give me a good response as to what to do here i know theres alot but i just wish i could explain better as to how down i am its ruining my life and im honestly trying to get over it its just not working
Author Scirok Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Sorry for the rant guys and gal can anyone help me out (((
Cl0udy Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 This may not be advice you want to hear. The only may be able to move is to write a letter to her. Pour your feelings out. Write it then put it away then write another. After the third time you will see it get smaller and smaller and you will see what it is you truly miss and what were your mistakes. How long have you been NC? How long were you together?
cavalier99 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 Sound like YOU need to slap some sense into you. You need to stop this now. I'm sorry this so rough but what are you DOING to get over this. How long do you let these movies play in your mind? Stop them and redirect. Are you going out? Exercising? Are you praying for strength even if you aren't spiritual or religious? Are you trying to be grateful for what you have? Are you pure NC? Have you forgiven yourself? Have you considered therapy? No shame in this. I think you need to take action irregardless of how bad you feel. It is time to really dig deep and pick yourself up IMO. You have the strength you just need to find it. I hope you feel better.
Author Scirok Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 To answer a few questions my first ex we were together for 3 years and my second we were together for a year and I've been no contact with the most recent one for about 4 months and the other has been years I been going out with my friends almost everynight and having fun... Well the most I can it always seems to be in the back of my mind and i can't really seem to forgive myself I know it's not really all my fault but it just seems like it is It's just really hurting me because my exs are so happy with there new lovers and I can't even find a girl to look twice at me i don't know what's going on I believe it's just hurting me so bad because a couple months before are break up I had booked a cruise with me my ex and my parents for the holidays coming up and now the days are closing in to go and I realize I'm going to be alone and all the fun things we had planned on the boat she won't be there for them I just really don't know what to do with my life anyone I seem to have no luck with girls and I have obviously an extreme self esseem issue but it's hard not too
Recommended Posts