Ex gf became a slut after breakup, implants made her worse

[imstatic]

Hi people,

I spent 3 years with this girl, until the time came when I had to leave the country for professional reasons.

It was tough being apart and in a long distance relationship. She broke it off after 3 months and then came back after 3 weeks saying she missed me. I also found out she had being going out with some other guy. I got very upset but decided to give it another try.

She came to see me to Mexico, we spent wonderful days together and even made plans for the future. I took her everywhere, to places I didn't even know, like McAllen, TX. We were happy for a while until my situation started getting really bad. I got depressed and decided I had to abort the plans. I don't start things unless I'm sure I can see them through.

I don't know when it started, but she changed a lot. She got breast implants, started going to clubs, drinking, made new friends and I eventually got suspicious.

She came to visit me for the second time, even though I told her I wasn't in good shape. I felt her "extremely" different, I even sensed someone else behind her thoughts. I guess she expected to hear a marriage proposal from me, but it just wasn't a good time for me. I felt she was weighing her options between me and someone else.

A couple of weeks after she returned home, I decided to give her a call and found out she had been seeing another guy. It's like she stepped out of the plane and went to bed with him. This happened just before christmas last year, so you can imagine how I felt during the holidays.

After that she kept writing and calling me, until the day came when I snapped and basically sent her to hell. I changed my phone number, threw away all her stuff, deleted her pics, blocked her on facebook, filtered her mails to go to trash, sold the car I bought for us, etc.

 

I've always thought that actions speak louder than words. I made her an independent woman, got her a very good and high paying job, taught her how to drive and helped her search for her car, helped her family, etc. etc.

The other day I saw her on facebook, on one of her friend's pictures. She always appears with a drink in her hand, showing off her big breasts and kinda drunk.

 

My question is:

Am I doing this all wrong? This is like the third time people turn 180°. What is this world coming to..?!?!

[denxnis]

I want to see an answer to this as well, possibly from a girl's perspective. I too invested a lot of time into an ex gf (6 years) only to have her turn a complete 180.

[LostOne1]

I wonder if it's because you spoil a person so much.. that they take you for granted?

 

I mean you did so much for her.. how much did she do for you? I think that's the problem with some relationships. One person does so much over and over again.. and the other person sooner or later gets spoiled and takes things for granted.

[dreamingoftigers]

Um, from what I read of your post, it seemed like you 180ed on her.

 

I'm not trying to attack you or anything, but you had a good thing going, than you left. She held on for a bit and when things looked possible she visited you twice and you said she "changed" and than you welched on your future plans together.

 

I mean, what kind of message is she supposed to get besides the fact that you clearly aren't as serious anymore.

 

You can "say" that you are serious, but you aren't even in the same country and from what I gathered, had just changed your future plans with her.

 

But yeah, the way that she handled it was crap....

[dreamingoftigers]

I wonder if it's because you spoil a person so much.. that they take you for granted?

 

I mean you did so much for her.. how much did she do for you? I think that's the problem with some relationships. One person does so much over and over again.. and the other person sooner or later gets spoiled and takes things for granted.

 

This happens a TON too.

 

Have totally done this!

 

Than they just expect you to be there when they need someone or something, but don't offer anything in return.

[Eddie Edirol]

You are doing it all wrong to a degree. Not every relationship can sustain trauma like the ones you dished out to her. Long distance, depression, if your relationship wasnt that strong at the point you put these traumas into place, then she strays. You might have thought it was strong, but you might have been blind to see her becoming distant before you left the first time. You have to be suspicious of people constantly.

 

Even after three years, you have to make sure that you KNOW that someone youre with can sustain a relationship trauma. And of course, you dont know until you actually go through it. So I can tell you this much, next relationship, dont become depressed, and dont leave your girlfriend behind. Most people need to see each other on a regular basis to be emotionally satisfied. Not many people can successfully do an LDR.

[imstatic]

Thanks for all your honest replies.

 

I don't consider myself an awful person, I never abandoned her. I even wanted to propose to her a couple of times, but she started to change very shortly after I left.

 

I tried my best to keep things going, but couldn't stand the things I heard about her. How was I supposed to commit to a girl who's out drinking, partying, hooking up, and at the same time claiming she loves me?

I always tell my couple the following statement: "if you want to be with someone else, please tell me." Is that too hard to do? Why keep me on the hook?

 

I don't go out spoiling every woman I meet. Her mother is a very hard working woman. She was the top student of her class. Her friends had very good comments about her. She had aspirations, goals to fulfill, etc.

[imstatic]

I don't mean to attack women, just to understand why people go through such radical changes?

 

Why stay in a relationship when you really want to be with other people?

 

I just can't get my head around it and really need an explanation. Many people (male, female, committed, married) I know are doing or have done it.

 

Is it normal now? Is it not easier to just end things? Does it have anything to do with that twillight movie or 2.5 men?

[movingon12]

Um, from what I read of your post, it seemed like you 180ed on her.

 

I'm not trying to attack you or anything, but you had a good thing going, than you left. She held on for a bit and when things looked possible she visited you twice and you said she "changed" and than you welched on your future plans together.

 

I mean, what kind of message is she supposed to get besides the fact that you clearly aren't as serious anymore.

 

You can "say" that you are serious, but you aren't even in the same country and from what I gathered, had just changed your future plans with her.

 

But yeah, the way that she handled it was crap....

 

Completely agree with this.

 

You can't move away, promise her a future together then change your mind and expect her to hang around waiting for you. She came to visit you, though from your description it sounded like you tried to persuaded her not to the 2nd time. You said she was hoping you'd propose - but you didn't "because it wasn't a good time", then *you* dumped *her*.

 

*You* left, she had a hard time dealing with LDR, so she ended it and started dating someone else. What's wrong with that?

 

She decided she'd rather be with you, asked to come back and you accepted it. What's wrong with that?

 

She started having a social life - going out and "making new friends". What on earth is your problem with that?

 

She comes to visit you expecting you'd propose (presumably you'd been hinting that this this was possible) - but there was no proposal and you treat her differently. She goes home and looks for comfort from someone who actually seemed to want her. Can you blame her?

Edited December 2, 2012 by movingon12