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Posted

Broke up with my girl of threes years. Sucks! I plan on trying to get her back, but I need my space to think rationaly or else I will just text, call, argue, blame, etc...There is no rational thinking right now even with her as well. I plan on waiting 30 days exactly no contact what so ever. I mean ever. Texts, calls, running into her by "accident". I guess my question is is it possible that she could get over me that fast and I ruin my chances? I know everyone is different but I feel 30 days is hard to get after 3 years. I guess i was just looking for some opinions. Thanks all.

Posted

Why break up with her, go NC for 1 month, and then get back together?

 

This is one of two things:

-preemptive breakup- She would've broke up with you so you're trying to scare her, regain control, playing games with her head.

 

-someone else your considering- Don't have to heart to just break it off, keep her on the back burner just in case your new fling doesn't work out.

 

You don't break up with someone just to get them back. That doesn't make any sense.

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Posted

Sorry phrased it a little weird I guess. She broke up with me. She has recently contacted me 3 times and I have not answered. Last text asking me, "plans for tomorrow?" which would have been friday night. I did not answer. I just dont want to lose her. But I need some time to think, and get my head back on straight cause im think terribly and it transition into doing and saying things I shouldnt be. Soory got off on a rant. But yea so what do you think....?

Posted
Sorry phrased it a little weird I guess. She broke up with me. She has recently contacted me 3 times and I have not answered. Last text asking me, "plans for tomorrow?" which would have been friday night. I did not answer. I just dont want to lose her. But I need some time to think, and get my head back on straight cause im think terribly and it transition into doing and saying things I shouldnt be. Soory got off on a rant. But yea so what do you think....?

 

I think you have the right idea in stepping back from the situation instead of trying to act right now when your emotions are all crazy. I'm not sure there is a set time to go NC in this situation, but 30 days is a good start in calming down and figuring out what you want.

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Posted
I think you have the right idea in stepping back from the situation instead of trying to act right now when your emotions are all crazy. I'm not sure there is a set time to go NC in this situation, but 30 days is a good start in calming down and figuring out what you want.

 

I guess the question I am asking is this to much time off with no contact? Do you think she will move on in 30 days? I know every girl is different, but I was just curious what everyone thought.

Posted
I guess the question I am asking is this to much time off with no contact? Do you think she will move on in 30 days? I know every girl is different, but I was just curious what everyone thought.

 

No, 30 days is the minimum. A month isn't anything.

Posted

Well I don't know about 30 days.

 

TO be honest I kinda regret the 30 days I took off.

 

My ex and I had a massive fight and I thought giving her 30 days of NC would cool her down.. WRONG.

 

After 30 days she was MORE mad.. I think she was even more mad, that I never said sorry and went on 30 days not talking. I think the 30 days made her believe she was better off without me. And my heart tells me she WANTED me to reach out and say sorry.. I didn't and by then either she moved on or realized it wasn't worth it.

 

So DON'T set a date.. my personal opinion is give it a week and see. It all depends on what you are trying to do. Are you trying to clear the air up of things that went wrong? Then maybe a week or 2 and see how it is..

 

Then again my situtation was different, but I kinda regret using NC.. because I used it at a BAD time. I used it AFTER things got worse rather than using it ahead of time when things had just happened.

 

So if you broke up and nothing major has been said and it's been calm. THen the 30 days will work alright to give you 2 some space to think. But if it was a huge fight and all then it might not do as well. Then again this is from my own experience, doesn't mean im right or wrong.

 

But if you want to work it out and she does too, then NC is a waste of time. It only helps if you want to move on or if you want to give her space and your self some to think about things and feel how life is without her and for her without you. But like I said in my case my ex liked life without me or was good at lying about it. So for me NC didn't do much besides help me move on bit by bit

Posted
Well I don't know about 30 days.

 

TO be honest I kinda regret the 30 days I took off.

 

My ex and I had a massive fight and I thought giving her 30 days of NC would cool her down.. WRONG.

 

After 30 days she was MORE mad.. I think she was even more mad, that I never said sorry and went on 30 days not talking. I think the 30 days made her believe she was better off without me. And my heart tells me she WANTED me to reach out and say sorry.. I didn't and by then either she moved on or realized it wasn't worth it.

 

So DON'T set a date.. my personal opinion is give it a week and see. It all depends on what you are trying to do. Are you trying to clear the air up of things that went wrong? Then maybe a week or 2 and see how it is..

 

Then again my situtation was different, but I kinda regret using NC.. because I used it at a BAD time. I used it AFTER things got worse rather than using it ahead of time when things had just happened.

 

So if you broke up and nothing major has been said and it's been calm. THen the 30 days will work alright to give you 2 some space to think. But if it was a huge fight and all then it might not do as well. Then again this is from my own experience, doesn't mean im right or wrong.

 

But if you want to work it out and she does too, then NC is a waste of time. It only helps if you want to move on or if you want to give her space and your self some to think about things and feel how life is without her and for her without you. But like I said in my case my ex liked life without me or was good at lying about it. So for me NC didn't do much besides help me move on bit by bit

 

A week or two is way too short. If anything, you should advise him to wait longer, not shorter.

Posted

I had planned on doing the same thing. Gave it about two weeks before basically asking her out again. She agreed, but said she had to tell me something first. She slept with someone.

 

Yea... I kept believing my story was different but fact I learned the hard way is that if they want you back they'll do something to make it happen.

Posted
I had planned on doing the same thing. Gave it about two weeks before basically asking her out again. She agreed, but said she had to tell me something first. She slept with someone.

 

Yea... I kept believing my story was different but fact I learned the hard way is that if they want you back they'll do something to make it happen.

Agreed. It's too bad when we freak out after a BU we don't think that way. Now after 3 months I think.. all I had to do was tell her I'm okay with the break up and want it too. That I don't want to talk to her again and won't contact her ever and hope she has a good life. Then just wipe her off my phone, email, and block on FB.

 

And then just move on.

 

I girl I know from class did this around the time I was BU with my ex. And she seemed so calm about the BU she had and said that she doesn't need to chase after anyone. If her b.f is ignoring her, then he has to work hard to get her back. Eventually I think they got back but yeah it shows how some of us freak out fast.

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