asgirlsgo Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 This will be long - sorry and I am a girl. I have a friend that I have known for nearly 7 years and we have always been close. That friendship turned into a fab 3 year relationship and we both said last sept that we wanted to spend the rest of our lifes together. In April she dumped me...She had moved away to uni as a mature student last Oct and just told me that she felt the relationship had reached a natural end. I was deverstated with this and my feelings had not changed at all. Since then in a post break up talk she told me that she found that we hardly spent any time together because of the distance and I was also not acting like me but she thought it was due to stress as I was being made redundant. Little did we both know at the time that I was actually suffering from anxitey and depression after she left for Uni and with all the other things going on. But we both still do maintain that the relationship was a really good one that worked and set the world on fire. Although dumped I was told that she wanted me to stay in her life because I am her best friend, loves my company etc and this was something I did do and we got on really well up to Mid June. At that point in time I had also got a new job that meant I could move alot closer to where she was at uni and she said that this was great because although she had friends at Uni she had realised that she was lonely. She then came back for the summer but we didn't see each other and she did not move in for the break as planned, missed my 40th and all the other things we planned. I have now got a job that means that I am again living in the same city and about 4 miles from where she lives. However since she came back to Uni she has told me after I asked direct that she is seeing a guy who lived in her halls last year. She started a fling with him within days of dumping me, I think his dad was ill and he was doing a full time course which meant he wasn't around much as she still stands by that she was lonely in May and that part was true, but he went to see her a few times over the summer and also consequently has a teaching job and has stayed in the area and so since she has come back to start her 2nd year they are a full time item. I have only known about this for 2 months so I am still reeling from the news. I feel lied to that she said nothing over the summer, even when I enquired how he was and if he had found a job etc she told me that she had not heard from him. I had spent until then hoping that once I got to be living in the same place with her again then we could just see how it goes. Within 3 weeks of her being back we went out with mutal friends and we slept together that night ( she says that she feels bad for **** about that) and on another occassion she told me how nice I looked and stood up in a packed bar and gave me a full on snog. So I go from being hurt and angry that she quit on our relationship that was meant to be so good and was able to move on so quickly, to feeling confussed as to why she slept with me, do we still have a chance again one day and with the added pressure as to do I now just quit on the friendship totally. We spoke today and she still thinks that all can be wonderful again if we just let the friendship re build itself and develop naturally. I respect she has a boyfriend, he his a nice guy and she is happy, does not make it easy for me though seeing her do all the same things we did we him now. I know it's easy for people to say move on, but it's a big thing to just cut ties with a person that has been your best friend for all that time and with one that you do still get on so well with... anyone got any advise please? [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 If you still get along with her, there is no reason to cut ties. Believe me I know it is hard. But if that person is hurting you constantly you one day have to make that choice. Otherwise you may have to get used to never having her again. I wouldn't hold out on hope and miss years of your life. You can find another girl who will love you better. 1
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