WhatsYourDamage Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 (edited) about a week after i gave my bf my virginity i noticed him talking to a girl in a way that i found uncomforting...when i cofronted him about it we got into a fight that lead to our break up . . . a week after that he was seeing her...he has been trying to hide it but i know because she isnt trying to hide it at all....my heart is broken. i spent a week begging him to come back to me like a pathetic dog something i dont usually do but given the circumstances. im not a weak person but this particular situation has me wallowing in self pity like never before. he himself even told me i need to be "stronger" and my calling and texting him everyday about fixing it for a week straight was disgusting (i agree)...it just what happened made me feel like the lowest person in the world. the entire week i was begging him he was with her although denying it..he still answered all my texts and calls which i found weird because if it were me i would have stopped by the second day. i finally snapped out of it and its been maybe 5 days since i stopped calling him....he called me yesterday and commented on a picture on one of my social sites where he doesn't even follow me....he reads all my interactions on social media all on sites we are not friends on...it creeps me out...i did not respond to this though since i have decided to go NC. not only did he take what he wanted & leave but it feels like he is patronizing me. he's lying about being with the girl...he rejected me (multiple times), he told me it was all my fault for not "being there for him" during a storm....but when i leave him alone finally for a mere 5 days he tries to contact me....I dont know if he was contacting me out of pity but i do not ever plan to speak to him again to ever find that out. I'm just so hurt & it has taken such a toll on my self esteem that idk what to do or how to really "cope" Also I'd like to add that I'm 20 years old. Edited December 1, 2012 by WhatsYourDamage
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I am sorry to say this...but it sounds like he played you for your virginity. Guys will do that - every Guy really wants a virgin over a nonvirgin(tho no ones picky.) I am sorry he used you, it sadly happens to many girls. He's trash. Unfortunately you. Feel so strongly about him cause he took your virginity... Anyway I recommend telling this jerk to leave you alone. Forget you and if he and his new toy continue to harass you - you will call the police. Tell him he's a liar and manipulator. You are over his scum. Leave it at that.block him and her. Start anew profiles if you must...set to private. Use a different name to identify yourself. Sweetheart you are too remarkable for this trash. It will be hard but you will move on to better things. /super big hugs, please realize you are better than him/them.
YorickBrown Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 That's too bad. Im sorry for your uhm...."loss" (im sorry, its the only one i could think of because of the way you started your post) You obviously gave your ...I mean, you got played by a "player" and he stole something from you that you'll uhmm..wont get back. Actually, nowadays there is a way....ok, im not going there...this is weird. What I actually wanted to say was this: so you got yourself "thrashed', that's ok, that happens (or will eventually happen anyway) and perhaps happen again. You'll get over it in time. But it seems to me that you still have a problem with him harrassing you somewhat...is that right? Well, like i said, you may not be able to get back what he took from you (well, you could but it may be expensive...but do you want to get back at him? Dispose of him for good? And perhaps..."teach him a lesson" he'll never forget? maybe even pay for what he had "stolen"? PS: Sorry, if my post comes off weird...and not so comforting at all. Im just one of those who gives "practical but unconventional advice"
Author WhatsYourDamage Posted December 1, 2012 Author Posted December 1, 2012 @Toddbt12y1 thaks for your response it made me feel better...unfortunately because i messaged him everyday for a week and called multiple times i'd feel so hypocritical saying i'll call the police over 1 call, a comment and some cyber stalking...because he didnt do that to me & i can admit i freaked out...however if it extends over a long period of time i'll take those measures..for now i'll assume its pity. @YorickBrown lmao yea your response is quite creepy...luckily enough it made me laugh....haha...i dont think i'd wanted it back if this is what it feels like!....i'm not complaining about him contacting me unless its out of control but to answer your question...idk if id necessarily want to "get back at him" as oppose to just forgetting his existence...but did you have an idea in mind or something? lol
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 Revenge is never the way. It causes extended hurt. Anyhoo. I'd just stop contacting him then sweetheart or he can get you for stalking. Trust me you will get over him. Won't forget him ever not the Guy who took your cherry. You're very sweet. Try going out and having fun doing new things you'll stop that need for well wanting to talk to him. Limit contact.
YorickBrown Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 (edited) @Toddbt12y1 thaks for your response it made me feel better...unfortunately because i messaged him everyday for a week and called multiple times i'd feel so hypocritical saying i'll call the police over 1 call, a comment and some cyber stalking...because he didnt do that to me & i can admit i freaked out...however if it extends over a long period of time i'll take those measures..for now i'll assume its pity. @YorickBrown lmao yea your response is quite creepy...luckily enough it made me laugh....haha...i dont think i'd wanted it back if this is what it feels like!....i'm not complaining about him contacting me unless its out of control but to answer your question...idk if id necessarily want to "get back at him" as oppose to just forgetting his existence...but did you have an idea in mind or something? lol Uhmm..creepy? really? Creepy makes you laugh your non-vrigin ass off? That is weird. You don't want your virginity back? but I thought that's what made you "upset" in the first place....you confuse me...Anyways, if he does "get out of control" contacting you....then that's the time you can employ the "getting back at him" phase....You know what "virginity" stalkers (well, probably most "players") like him are "allergic" to right? = "Pregnancy" Do this: If he calls you up again and again, make sure to record it somehow and have him admit that he was the one who took your virginity. Egg him on if necessary, make sure you tell him that you gave it only to him. Just let him talk about it so much the better if in detail if he wants to..or if you want to (just dont let it spiral into creepy phone sex) Now you got him on record for the "dirty deed" him and you did. Wait, you know where I'm going with this right? Nways, this ends with you telling him (more like "blackmailing" him) that you got "pregnant" (just pretend pregnant ok?)...and that you need money to get a check-up or something...(of course, he'll remember that you had "protected sex" ---you did right?) Just tell him "accidents" do happen especially with virgins and btw, you only had sex with him...and you got him on record talking about it. If he stupidly gives you money (I doubt he will, most likely you wont hear from him again)...just go to the clinic and get yourself a procedure called hymenoplasty. In any case, just tell him (if he asks) that it was a false alarm. I bet he'd think twice of having sex again with virgins (which you are again!..hehehe [inserting creepy laugh] Edited December 1, 2012 by YorickBrown
Author WhatsYourDamage Posted December 1, 2012 Author Posted December 1, 2012 lmfaoooooo WHAT????...you have issues man!...lmaoooo thanks for the idea...i will respectfully decline though haaaa:lmao: 1
dreamingoftigers Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 It fades after a bit, and after your next relationship, you won't think about the idiot that you had sex with. He probably wasn't even that good. Self-absorbed idiot types usually aren't. They tend to work you over like you are a set of buttons and controls rather than a person with certain pleasure areas that wants to have a close and intimate experience.
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