dblondi Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 (edited) Theres this guy, we started going out at the begining of the year for 3 weeks or so, everything was okay (I even met his friends) it didnt feel weird or anything, it felt right. One day I noticed he's not really respondive, so I stopped contacting him just to see if he would care to ask how I'm doing, and he didn't AT ALL.. basically after a week of not a single message or call from him I texted him saying that I think it isn't nice to obviously end anything this way. (which by the way he didn't reply to either). Time goes by, I clearly forgot about him, and after 5 months I was amazed to recieve a text from him, wishing me a happy holiday, I thanked out of politeness to get it over with but he continued sending me more and more texts, at that point I was very cold towards him with my answers just replying to questions with yes and no, cause he hurt me back then, until one day I asked him (all in texts still) why did he disappear on me before and why is he talking to me now? his answer was "things changed,i changed" Now, im very understanding, so I agreed to meet with him, and we met, and we started going out regulary again, he told me many nice things of how he feels different with me and romantic things like that. At the begining I did ask him what happened before, and he said "i dont know what happened then" anyway I moved on not mentioning it again, and this time around even when we werent phisically together, I would get messages from him and calls, he really tried, even taking me out all the time, i honestly saw and felt how he tried to make me happy, i even met his friends again, and I also made sure he knew I'm happy with him. we even made plans for a vacation together! for me it felt as if he is the one. This whole ordeal lasted a month and ended (from my side) yesterday. he flew last week (he always flys for his job) for a business meeting, and right before the flight we spoke all lovey dovey everything was great, I texted him asking if he's OK when he arrived to the country he was flying to, and he replied with a cold "yes" never asked how I'm doing or anything, anyway I was reminded of the past and I tested him by not texting him at all just to see if he does. Days go by and again, nothing. He flew back home and still, nothing. I texted him that I see we're going back to the past, he read the message yet,nothing. I called, he didn't pick up. I texted him again litteraly with a polite commanded to call me and he finally did, at first he said everything was OK and he's just busy with people out and about, but it still didn't hold me back from letting him know that I want to know what's going on, so finally he said "im confused I don't know what I want, I had a bad business trip,idk ill think about what I want to do with us and ill call you back" I said what do you mean think about it? I did nothing wrong and your going to think about it? let me know yes or no? again he said he'll think about it and hung up, which made me really irritated, because its rude. so I texted him a few mins after saying "ill make it easier on u, I'm not looking for a confused man in my life, I gave you a 2nd chance, its not going to happen again, sit with yourself and with your frusturation all alone and don't bother contacting me again,u don't know to appreciate the right ppl" After I sent the message he never replied back, not even trying to defend himself. I'm very confused to what's going on w/him I really would love to hear your thoughts. this guy is important to me by now, I saw a future with him, I just don't get why he always pulls back and I do know that if this time around I wasn't litteraly commanding him to call me, he probably never would have returned my calls or replying to my text, just like last time. he said he was happy, everything was fine, i dont get it... everything changes w/him so dramtically and very extreme. I'm glad I texted what I did, do you think he's sad? do you think he's struck by the message and now he regrets it since I'm the one who told him I don't want to be with him? I had to change the cards around, for my own ego, but I'm still very sad.. I really hope he is too.. I don't know what he feels.. its bothering me is this typical? i mean, if everything was so good, why ruin it? hes not man enought to end it so he dissapears, but why? any thoughts???????? Edited December 2, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs
movingon12 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 Is there any chance he's actually married?
Author dblondi Posted December 1, 2012 Author Posted December 1, 2012 no hes divorced though, with a kid
movingon12 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 no hes divorced though, with a kid Are you sure? It's sounds a bit like you are 'the other woman'.
MAD Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 Mabe his buddys had a say in it and he took there advice???just a thought
threebyfate Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 Whether he's married, juggling or not, none of it matters. What matters is that you have a guy who's treating you like crap, a convenience rather than a priority. You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why he's a flake and accomplish nothing but keeping him on your mind. The best way to handle this is to detach from someone who's not worth the waste of emotion.
movingon12 Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 Whether he's married, juggling or not, none of it matters. What matters is that you have a guy who's treating you like crap, a convenience rather than a priority. You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why he's a flake and accomplish nothing but keeping him on your mind. The best way to handle this is to detach from someone who's not worth the waste of emotion. Up to a point I agree, but I also think it's natural in these sorts of situations to wonder 'what did I do'? And I also think it's always worth thinking 'should I have behaved differently?' There's almost always something you could have done better, even if it's just: 'I shouldn't have taken him back when he...' or 'I should have realised something wasn't right when he....' If you treat every relationship as a learning opportunity, it's easier to move on and it also makes future relationships better. That doesn't mean obsess over every single conversation you had, more a general: 'next time I'm going to make sure I don't...'
Author dblondi Posted December 2, 2012 Author Posted December 2, 2012 yes thats true, hes not worth my time since it does come across that im there for his convenience, i hope i do learn from it and move on... Yup im sure hes divorced, his ex wife already re married and has more children, he picks up his kid every other day or so to spend time with him
Author dblondi Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 btw, my friend saw him in a club with a new girl. i believe hes a loser now.
flitzanu Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 sounds like you're a booty call, and a standy-sex partner.
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