Troubles Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I've been NC with my ex for about three months now, because my ex is currently with somebody and I couldn't handle the "friends" situation she insisted on. I let her know I needed to heal and move forward and love her from a distance as she has somebody and it was not fair to me. The problem with every time I go NC with my ex is she only lasts a month. After a month I will get a "hope you are well" text. I ignored that and two weeks later I got a text regarding car troubles she was having, I did not reply and a few hours later I got a desperate I really need your help. She has a boyfriend, plenty of male friends, and her father..why did she choose to text me? Yes, I used to be a mechanic but why not text your boyfriend if you notice a problem with your car. I didn't reply to that text until the night time where I gave her a solution to her problem. She replied that she figured out what was wrong with her car and then asked if I knew any cheap mechanics. I gave her the info and said good luck. Kept it short and straight the point. This was 3 weeks ago. It has been weighing on my mind since why she would text me about that though. Why can't she just let everything go, I admit I do enjoy hearing from her but Im curious as to her motives. Keep me around? See if I am still at arms reach? We didn't break up on bad terms and when I went NC back in August she said she wasn't over me. It's been over a year now from our break up and she got with her boyfriend shortly after. What's going through her mind? and how do I go NC without feeling guilty that I am being an ******* for not replying when she is "in need" as she only seems to text me when a tragic event happens, which seems to only happen when I initiate No Contact.
fucpcg Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 She wasn't happy with you so she found someone else. She's not happy with him now she wants to make sure she doesn't lose you. Point being, she's not happy and she's looking for happiness in the wrong places, anywhere but herself. I read a great quote once "relationships are the only time where two halfs don't make a whole". Even if she came back to you I would be scared because she seems lost. My ex is going thru some pretty desperate and immature behavior right now as well, and I wish I could help her but I can't. It's tough to watch when you really care for them, and want to be with them, and yes you should keep your distance. You can hope she matures her way out of this and you can get that old relationship back, but the minimum first step she would need to take is leave the guy she is with.
Droplet Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 (edited) Got dumped in July. She contacted me every once in a while for the first two month ( hope you're well, how are you doing, how is your work, ready for the final exam, bla bla bla ). I would always reply warmly, however when I would initiate contact, she would be cold, or sometimes even disrespect me. Then, I decided that I've had enough and stopped contacting her. She went into a frenzy, contacting once a week, then several times a week, then every other day and three weeks ago almost every day...Tried to tell her that I was moving on so maybe we shouldn't be talking until I actually want to be her friend, she ignored it, until I made it clear that we clearly didn't want the same things out of each other so it was best for us to stop talking. Now I can finally breathe. Guess what : it's been almost five months, and she isn't back. Don't be fooled by her desperate attempts : she is using you to make herself feel better. Just ignore her. If she suddenly changes her mind and wants you back, trust me, you'll know... Do not waste your time paying attention to the desperate attempts at communication she is sending you because what she wants is validation, not an actual discussion with you. Edited December 2, 2012 by Droplet
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